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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Shy_Girl on May 12, 2005, at 13:56:31
Hi people
I'm pretty scared right now. Remember the suicidal guy who e-mailed me? Well, I don't think he is suicidal at all...he keeps asking me personal questions, including about sex and relationships. He is putting a lot of effort into his answers...really trying to connect with me. I did disclosed some info. I'm scared now. I'm starting to think that he may be a predator and senses my "weakness". He talks to me about travel...like he wants me to travel with him. He now wants me to send a pic of myself. I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. Can he track me down? Please help.
Posted by sunny10 on May 12, 2005, at 14:25:55
In reply to Scared...may have conversed with a predator, posted by Shy_Girl on May 12, 2005, at 13:56:31
if you're scared, tell him that you are uncomfortable with the conversation and that you are now terminating it. And do it.
You don't have to communicate with anyone you don't want to.
Definitely do not send a pic. What kinds of things did you disclose? Hopefully not name, address, or phone number, right?
Posted by Shy_Girl on May 12, 2005, at 14:48:39
In reply to Re: Scared...may have conversed with a predator, posted by sunny10 on May 12, 2005, at 14:25:55
> if you're scared, tell him that you are uncomfortable with the conversation and that you are now terminating it. And do it.
Ok, I'll do that.
> Definitely do not send a pic. What kinds of things did you disclose? Hopefully not name, address, or phone number, right?No, I'm not sending any pics. I only give my first name, I didn't give address or phone number. I'm still scared. I'm too trusting of people. So scared.
Posted by sunny10 on May 12, 2005, at 15:33:25
In reply to Re: Scared...may have conversed with a predator, posted by Shy_Girl on May 12, 2005, at 14:48:39
ok- you didn't give him too much info... not enough to find you, anyway...
Just cut him off...
have a great night, sweets... talk to you tomorrow!
Posted by JenStar on May 12, 2005, at 16:35:41
In reply to Scared...may have conversed with a predator, posted by Shy_Girl on May 12, 2005, at 13:56:31
If you didn't give name/address, he can't find you. Why do you think he's a predator? Because he's asking questions about sex/relationships? Some people might get too intimate too quickly, but you also said he puts a lot of effort into his replies. Is it possible that instead of being a predator, he's just a "regular guy" who's interested in you?
Even so, I think it's good to be cautious, especially if your gut tells you this guy is "off." You have the power to tell him "No" to anything he asks. You also have the power to stop conversing with him. YOu don't owe him anything, really. If you're going to cut off the relationship, you could say something like "I've enjoyed talking with you but at this point in my life I'm not ready for any relationships, and I feel it's best for us to stop conversing." That way you're clear about it, but not cruel.
If you think he truly is a predator, you should probably stop all contact. If you think he's just a lonely guy trying to connect, play it the way you feel.
You've mentioned before that sometimes you feel extra anxious & paranoid about things - how are you doing right now?
Good luck!
JenStar
Posted by Shy_Girl on May 12, 2005, at 18:14:23
In reply to Re: Scared...may have conversed with a predator » Shy_Girl, posted by JenStar on May 12, 2005, at 16:35:41
> Why do you think he's a predator? Because he's asking questions about sex/relationships?
Yes, mostly. He's asking me personal things like, am I a virgin and stuff like that. He's pretty old too, in his early 60s. Now he's asking for my pic. and sent me this huge attachment in his e-mail (I didn't open it). Thankfully, I used my hotmail account.
>Some people might get too intimate too quickly, but you also said he puts a lot of effort into his replies. Is it possible that instead of being a predator, he's just a "regular guy" who's interested in you?
Maybe, I don't know...but either way, my intention was not to start a relationship. Maybe I am extremely naive or something. I think it is possible to talk to guys as friends.
> Even so, I think it's good to be cautious, especially if your gut tells you this guy is "off." You have the power to tell him "No" to anything he asks. You also have the power to stop conversing with him. YOu don't owe him anything, really. If you're going to cut off the relationship, you could say something like "I've enjoyed talking with you but at this point in my life I'm not ready for any relationships, and I feel it's best for us to stop conversing." That way you're clear about it, but not cruel.
Yes, I sort of did that...I mentioned that it's a policy of mine to never send pics or open attachments...maybe he will get the point.
> If you think he truly is a predator, you should probably stop all contact. If you think he's just a lonely guy trying to connect, play it the way you feel.
Yes, I will see if and how he replies to my refusal...it's just very creepy...I feel like he is almost "grooming" me...I know I'm an adult and everything, but I don't have much life experience at all. It's like he used the topic of suicide to hook onto me, then slowly coaxes me to give out more and more details of my life...until, before I know it, he is boldly asking me about sex.
> You've mentioned before that sometimes you feel extra anxious & paranoid about things - how are you doing right now?Still anxious....a little less paranoid that he is going to track me down...phew. I'm going to play it safe. Thanks for making me feel better.
SG
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 12, 2005, at 21:07:20
In reply to Re: Scared...may have conversed with a predator » JenStar, posted by Shy_Girl on May 12, 2005, at 18:14:23
> > Why do you think he's a predator? Because he's asking questions about sex/relationships?
>
> Yes, mostly. He's asking me personal things like, am I a virgin and stuff like that. He's pretty old too, in his early 60s. Now he's asking for my pic. and sent me this huge attachment in his e-mail (I didn't open it). Thankfully, I used my hotmail account.
>
> >Some people might get too intimate too quickly, but you also said he puts a lot of effort into his replies. Is it possible that instead of being a predator, he's just a "regular guy" who's interested in you?
>
> Maybe, I don't know...but either way, my intention was not to start a relationship. Maybe I am extremely naive or something. I think it is possible to talk to guys as friends.It doesn't really sound like this is in your character.. but you know, you do have the right to tell him it's none of his business and to stop writing to you, he'll recover--trust me.
You don't have to soften it, or wait for him to get the hint. Even if he is a "regular guy" and not a creep it's not really cruel, this way he can move on and creep someone else out. : )But you know.. a regular guy in his 60's would not be asking a young woman about suicide and then switching the topic to whether or not she's a virgin.. ewwwwww
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 12, 2005, at 21:12:51
In reply to Re: Scared...may have conversed with a predator » Shy_Girl, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 12, 2005, at 21:07:20
If you are seriously concerned about your safety, tell him you feel bad and it's time to be honest, that you were bored, and you're really a guy, you were just on that site to score with some vulnerable chick..
Something tells me he'll get that.
Posted by Shy_Girl on May 12, 2005, at 22:21:46
In reply to Or--Shy Girl, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 12, 2005, at 21:12:51
> If you are seriously concerned about your safety, tell him you feel bad and it's time to be honest, that you were bored, and you're really a guy, you were just on that site to score with some vulnerable chick..
> Something tells me he'll get that.Hmmm...I don't know about that, I was pretty open with him for a while...I really was concerned about his safety at the beginning. I somehow don't think he will buy that. I will simply tell him that I'm uncomfortable with the conversation and that he should move on. He sent me an e-mail again, telling me not to worry...he seems sincere, but still creepy. I'm just not into relationships right now, esp. with much older men.
Posted by JenStar on May 12, 2005, at 23:51:40
In reply to Re: Scared...may have conversed with a predator » JenStar, posted by Shy_Girl on May 12, 2005, at 18:14:23
Well, there are some weirdos and creeps out there, and it's possible this guy is one! It sounds like you're getting a bad vibe from him, so it's would be totally OK just to cut off all communication. If you never wrote back at all, that would be OK - it's your right. It would be near impossible for him to find you, and if you cut off the communication, he'll forget about it and move on to the next person. And then you can move on too, to someone better! :)
Take care of yourself.
JenStar
Posted by sunny10 on May 13, 2005, at 9:19:35
In reply to Re: Scared...may have conversed with a predator, posted by JenStar on May 12, 2005, at 23:51:40
in any case, if your intent was to find a friend to chat with ONLY, then when and if the topic changes to sex, tell them you don't like discussing private things. If they keep persisting, then you don't want the contact anyway as it would negate your initial purpose.
you always have the right to stop a conversation at any time (including this one... smile)
This is the end of the thread.
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