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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by saw on November 16, 2004, at 2:47:44
I have handled my father's death relatively well. My husband is amazed due to my mental illness.
This got me to thinking. Is it my illness that gave me this strength? So many lesser things will have me falling to the ground in a puddle of tears whilst proclaiming that I simply can't cope!
The year hasn't been kind to me:
1. My son started school
2. Burnout at work in January and February
3. Gave up smoking in March
4. Moving house a week before getting married in May. And NOT wanting to move.
5. Birth control that almost killed me mentally, changed me physically and left me bleeding on my wedding day
6. Marriage
7. A week after marrying, already talking about divorce.
8. Admitting and submitting to depression
9. Admitting to myself that I am an alcoholic
10. Son diagnosed with ADHD after school warning
11. Started my own medication
12. Wrecked self image due to weight gain from medication
13. Changing medication and no weight loss yet
14. Trying to find a vanished sex drive
15. Death of father
16. Moving house againAdd this to all the usual, stressors of daily life. And I am left wondering, why carry on kicking a dog when it's down? I am sorry for myself but I wonder who decides what and how much rubbish can be dished out to a person who is already suffering?
And then I wonder if I cope with a monumental situation such as death because I can't cope with small things?
Forgive me for being so selfish, I kinda feel I have had my fair share of nasty hand-outs this year. I need a bit of a break.
Sabrina
Posted by partlycloudy on November 16, 2004, at 6:16:49
In reply to Musing on coping strategies, posted by saw on November 16, 2004, at 2:47:44
I think that dealing with depression and other mental and emotional "challenges" certainly makes us stronger. Just think of the self control it takes to keep ourselves together for a working day! I think of it as a sink or swim reaction - we try to tread water for as long as we can before sinking.
Posted by octopusprime on November 16, 2004, at 9:51:19
In reply to Re: Musing on coping strategies, posted by partlycloudy on November 16, 2004, at 6:16:49
holy cow sabrina
that is quite the list of stressors
and if i was you, i'd be eagerly counting down the days on my calendar waiting for this year to be over!!!like you i generally do ok in a real crisis. i think the thing about our illnesses is that they have exposed us to serious problems, allowed us to define what a serious problem is, taught us how to access resources to help us cope, and showed us that life does indeed march on after a crisis.
i have faced life-or-death crises before and just kept on moving. i do well when everybody else panics, because i know that there is life on the other side of XXX event. i think deep down you know this too.
the problem with daily tasks is that they're unrelenting and unrewarding to deal with. the dishes will always be dirty, the clothes will always need washing, the bills will always need paying. a crisis is short, you can feel rewarded by drawing on your strength, you learn something about yourself you never knew before, and your life has been altered.
who can say that their life was changed by doing the dishes? might as well cry and throw a fit. (sorry my illness manifests itself in slovenly behaviour, that's my personal bugaboo!)
anyway interesting to think about. and may next year be less stressful for you
ps - i kinda like stress and i get bored without it, so much so that some people in the past have accused me of manufacturing crises. maybe as a distraction to keep me from thinking about/solving my boring/mundane problems? something else to think about.
Posted by AuntieMel on November 16, 2004, at 10:45:22
In reply to Musing on coping strategies, posted by saw on November 16, 2004, at 2:47:44
Odd how this happens, isn't it. I have always been the "rock" when it comes to major problems like death or illness. It's the more mundane stressors that really affect me.
Maybe the smaller things wear me down because there are just so many of them. With one large thing I can focus and get through it, but with large numbers of small things my poor little brain gets fragmented and nothing gets dealt with.
Hang on and eat plenty of black-eyed peas on New Years. You can do it.
Posted by saw on November 18, 2004, at 5:58:38
In reply to Re: Musing on coping strategies, posted by octopusprime on November 16, 2004, at 9:51:19
I printed your post and read it to my husband. He is slowly realizing how not alone I am with this.
He is slowly beginning to understand how everyone is affected in similar yet different ways.
He was particularly intrigued with the concept of manufacturing crises as a distraction, or as a distorted coping mechanism. I could see he seems to think I do this all the time.
I saw amazement in his face when I got to the part about the dishes. He has never, ever denounced me when my house has suffered but he never understood either. It just did not make sense to him.
He has never even seen babble much less use a computer yet last night he said that babble is helping him and I was stumped. This may be why. Things are becoming a little clearer for him now.
Thank you for your response to me.
Sabrina
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