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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by partlycloudy on September 19, 2004, at 9:40:30
This is our first storm-threat-free weekend in over a month. I had grandiose plans to do nothing, go nowhere, watch no tv, maybe cook if I felt like it, just revel in not being in battle-ready position.
My father in law is visiting. He's a lovely old guy with a big heart. Nothing seems to please him and he's either too cold, too warm, too hungry, too stuffed, well... you get it. I take it personally because I think I go out of my way to make guests comfortable.
When he has the TV blasting a football game I'm not the least bit interested in, and the stereo playing jazz I don't like, then sits in the good reading chair with a book and commences to fall asleep - well, I can't take it. I get in a very very bad mood. I want to go back in my closet and have a cocktail. I want to smoke myself silly and not be aware of my surroundings. I lose my temper and yell at silly things. I feel trapped in my home and want to escape with any chemical help I can find.
Our condo is being tented on Monday for termites, so today we have to double-bag any consumables in the house and we have to check into a hotel for 2 days. I can't even bag up food without getting into a frenzy. Everything makes me angry, I just want to run away and be by myself, but then I'd probably complain about being alone.
Why can't I just chill? Why do I get so angry at what I perceive to be these intrusions into what I'd hoped would be a restful, restorative weekend? Why am I so nasty to everyone? I can't chill out. It doesn't help to say to myself that it's just temporary discomfort, because I resent my time being stolen that I'll never get back.
Thanks for listening to my rant. I wish I was a nicer person, but she has fled the premises and left this sour crabapple instead.
pc
Posted by Poet on September 19, 2004, at 12:31:56
In reply to Social anxiety or antisocial?, posted by partlycloudy on September 19, 2004, at 9:40:30
I have social anxiety and am antisocial, so I say you and I have a crabapple martini and just lay low.
I don't know how to make crabapple martinis, so it might take several tries before I perfect the recipe. Then again, I can just open that bottle of Chardonnay and have a glass or two for you. I mean with you through cyberspace.
Try to get outside and breath in some storm free air and I'll uncork the wine and send several glasses your way.
Sorry your weekend to chill is leaving you cold.
Poet
Posted by CatFanatic on September 19, 2004, at 15:24:10
In reply to Social anxiety or antisocial?, posted by partlycloudy on September 19, 2004, at 9:40:30
I feel that way also. Additonally, to compound the issue, I give off very negative vibes to others, and they react hostilely towards me. Not everyone, but really just a few. However , those few who react negatively are very vehement and intense in their anger. Makes me feel even worse. usually at the time I don't really feel anything but numbness. In fact, I almost always try to act friendly and diarming. Later on, i feel anger and regret I didn't say anything back.then the revenge scenarios kick in.
Ieven fel very anxious when told to do a simple chore by my mom. not sure why. It's indoors. Strange
Posted by CatFanatic on September 19, 2004, at 15:51:19
In reply to Social anxiety or antisocial?, posted by partlycloudy on September 19, 2004, at 9:40:30
I too don't know about cbarpple martinis. I would lIke to cook dinner for you . Nothing traumatic about that for me. Never cooked with my peers either in high school or college. SO no traumatic peer experiences which I relive over and over and over again. Even when I make a mistake in cooking, I work around it. Why can't life be like cooking? Unfortunately, there are too many acivities that zI have participated in,sports, music, acadmics, especially taht I excelled in or enjoyed, which are ruined by past abusive expereiences of anger and jealousy y my so called peers and professors and teachers.
I am particulary proud of my chickenpaprikash. Will clog your arteries. I would stay out of your way and just do my springbok jigsaw puzzles off in the corner.
Posted by partlycloudy on September 19, 2004, at 20:15:43
In reply to Re: Social anxiety or antisocial? » partlycloudy, posted by CatFanatic on September 19, 2004, at 15:51:19
Chicken paprikash is the very first dish I learned how to cook and cook again with the same good results. It's my comfort food.
I managed to get through this day filled with panic, but I did not drink like I desperately wanted to. I wanted to run away from everyone and hide in my bed and drink a gin martini with Noilly Prat vermouth in a proper glass, but I stayed with the game and pretended I was a human being with a very nasty temper.
Oh how I want this day to end. I feel like such a failure at this sport.
pc
Posted by saw on September 21, 2004, at 5:24:20
In reply to Social anxiety or antisocial?, posted by partlycloudy on September 19, 2004, at 9:40:30
We have a lovely group of friends and get together often. Socially, I enjoy it but lately it almost always ends in some form of disaster. I am overly sensitive and easily offended by things I should just be ignoring. I think these friends are starting to not like me. I know my H is becoming concerned about my behaviour. I already don't like me. Doesn't matter if no-one else does either.
Silly little things make me angry too. My temper is horrible. I am very skillful at slamming doors and bashing things around. Oh, and I am the queen of yelling. My most hated feature it would seem. I can't have an argument without screeching my point out. No matter that it's not heard this way. It is uncontrollable. And I'm okay when I don't drink. I don't want the answer to that one.
Sabrina
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