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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by woolav on August 5, 2004, at 13:05:35
Hi, I cant afford to see a therapist, so Im just going to tell anyone who is reading this a little about my life. Here goes...
1. My mom married a narcisist freak when i was a teen. (he still controls my life and im 32)
2. My mom (who has a good heart) (i think/hope) LET her freak husband tell me what to do/think when I was 14 and hardly new him.
3. My mom abandoned me when I got pregnant and married at 16.
4. This was because of the extreme embarresment this caused for her and my stepfather :)......
5. But, before becoming pregnant, had asked Mom for birth control pills. She said "stepdad" didnt approve of birth control pills, so NO. Yet, they wonder why i got pregnant?
6. I ended up being trapped in a bad marriage from age 16-31 because I had no one/no where else to turn.
7. Finally had to leave my husband because he needed mental help and wouldnt get it. (he was paranoid to the point of having guns in our home and using night vision goggles to check out the neighborhood at night for intruders)
8. Had to turn to mom and stepdad for financial help when i left my husband. They helped. but with string after string after string attached.
9. Finally met a nice guy and just got married again. But now, my "parents" are involved in my life more now than ever and I cant take it.
10. I am thinking of moving away now. I dont care what they think anymore.
11. My teenage daughter says she would hate me if i put her through what my mom put me through.Well, thats the jist of it. I really do need talk therapy I think. Medication just helps me get through daily life. But I prob. need to work alot of issues out too....
Well, thanks for reading and any advise is always appreciated.
S
Posted by partlycloudy on August 5, 2004, at 13:24:50
In reply to If anyone cares....., posted by woolav on August 5, 2004, at 13:05:35
You found a whole bunch of people who care!! I found that talk therapy plus my meds were what pulled me through and allowed me to start untangling my past.
I live very far from my immediate family and I must say that it has been a healthy development. It's a long process to redefine yourself by no one else's standards but your own, but I think it's the most important thing we can do for ourselves.
You might find that on the Psych board you'll get ideas and advice. Let us know how you're doing!!
Posted by pegasus on August 5, 2004, at 15:06:56
In reply to If anyone cares....., posted by woolav on August 5, 2004, at 13:05:35
Wow, it sounds like you have a *lot* to deal with. I surely hope that we can help you here. Babblers tend to be very helpful, so chances are good!
Also, I would agree that it sounds like therapy might be helpful for you, because you do seem to have the impulse to tell your story. Family stuff is sooooooo hard, especially when it's right in your face in your present life.
Have you looked into low income counseling options in your area? Sometimes there are more than you might think. And some therapists do charge on a sliding scale that is dependent on your income.Much luck with everything, and please let us know how things go for you.
pegasus
Posted by B2chica on August 5, 2004, at 18:18:34
In reply to If anyone cares....., posted by woolav on August 5, 2004, at 13:05:35
(((((woolav)))))
Of COURSE we care honeybunny!
Thank you very much for sharing what's going on in your life. that alone is not an easy thing to do. i definately agree that talk therapy is for you if/when you can afford it. Many therapists use a sliding scale for fees too, that may help?Quick question for you though (and i take no offense if you choose not to answer)
i think first of all being able to get out of a marriage that you got into SO young shows you have INCREDIBLE stregth so hang on to that. But out of curiosity, you got out of that marriage at 31 and are 32 and remarried. Did you have time to spend on just you? even if you haven't yet, please know that is VERY important, not just for yourself and your piece of mind but for your marriage as well. make sure you didn't forget who "woolav" is. And PLEASE know that this is NOT me being judgemental in ANY way! just want to make sure you are taking care of You along with the others in your life.I can imaging those strings have got to be a Constant pain, hopefully you can snip them soon.
>>10. I am thinking of moving... I dont care what they think anymore.
-are you saying this cuz you really believe it or because you want to believe it...
You are a strong intelligent woman and you should not let their words or actions control what you do OR don't do. (and i think you are on that path, keep going)>>11. My teenage daughter says she would hate me if i put her through what my mom put me through.
Just don't let that be held over your head though, you are YOU, not your mother. Make your decisions (similar or not) because it's what you think is best. Follow your heart woolav, sounds like you've got a great one.
>>...But I prob. need to work alot of issues out too....-you know, i just can't say this enough. These are just such strong words, it shows you are taking command of your own life..good for you. It sounds like you are really taking the right path for you, remember, no one knows you better (or what's good for you) better than You.
Best wishes and hope to see you lots here at PB!
B2c.
Posted by Poet on August 5, 2004, at 18:28:53
In reply to If anyone cares....., posted by woolav on August 5, 2004, at 13:05:35
Hi Woolav,
I care, I just wish I could be of more help. I agree with the other posters that you should consider finding a therapist that would be low cost. Mine works on a sliding scale or I wouldn't be able to afford her.
You've survived some very hard times, you have more inner strength than you give yourself credit for. That you are on meds and want to see a therapist makes you even stronger. I'm sorry that things are so down for you now.
Take care.
Poet
Posted by woolav on August 5, 2004, at 18:57:22
In reply to Re: If anyone cares..... » woolav, posted by Poet on August 5, 2004, at 18:28:53
I dont feel up to it, but will write tomorrow..
S
This is the end of the thread.
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