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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lavender on December 15, 2003, at 10:26:07
Hi,
So glad to see a place where I can identify with so many people and share my problems without being told to "cheer up". I've been recovered from my depression for over a year, but what is it about the holidays that makes you feel so depressed even when you're not?
I'm tired of my ex's calling me at christmas, they treat you like crap and dump you but then expect you to be your friend around holidays and act glad that they miss me, why is that? I'm really sick of my mother talking incessantly about my sister and her kids, I love my family but honest to God if my mother doesn't stop calling me every day to tell me about my poor sister and how busy she is or what cute new thing my niece said I'm going to kill myself!!! It's not enough to hear it once, I've heard it every day for two years, I can't take it anymore. And if I dare say something I'll be labelled as jealous and never hear the end of it.
Sorry, that's my rant for the day, I feel much better. Can anyone else relate?!
Posted by Penny on December 15, 2003, at 10:38:23
In reply to I hate the holidays, posted by lavender on December 15, 2003, at 10:26:07
My pdoc said this is his busiest time of year, and no wonder!
I can totally relate - Thanksgiving was almost unbearable, even though I love my family, because they were just so...well....
So I'm limiting my time spent with them this Christmas. And only half paying attention to what my grandmother says to me. And not allowing myself to get into arguments that lead nowhere. And I have a '24-hour-rule' for time with my Dad, because the first 24 hours I'm around him is fine, but after that it gets tense and he gets critical, and I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THAT ANYMORE.
Set your limits, if you can. Don't allow them (your mother, whoever) to treat you in a way you don't want to be treated. Be firm - if she nags you, tell her you don't want to hear it, in as polite a way as possible. If that doesn't work, leave the room. Discontinue the discussion. Take control of the situation.
I know, easier said than done. But, really, try to take care of YOU - if your mom labels you as jealous or whatever, tell yourself that she's entitled to her opinion, but you know the truth, and remove yourself from the situation.
Try to do something nice for yourself this holiday, if you can. Hope things improve...
P
Posted by 8 Miles on December 15, 2003, at 18:40:55
In reply to I hate the holidays, posted by lavender on December 15, 2003, at 10:26:07
Wow, I hate to keep quoting my favorite lyricist, Adam Duritz, but there IS one song that has some hope for the hopeless. Goes like this here, hum along if you wish:
A Long December 1996
" A long December and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last. I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leavin', now the day's go by so fast.
And It's one more day up in the canyons, and it's one more night in Hollywood, if you think that I could be forgiven....I wish you would.
The smell of hopitals in winter and the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls. All at once you look across a crowded room to see the way that light attaches to a girl.
And it's one more day up in the canyons, and it's one more night in Hollywood. if you think you might come to California....I think you should.
Drove up to Hillside Manor sometime ater two a.m.
and talked a little while about the year. I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower, makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her.And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last. I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass.
And it's one more day up in the canyon. And it's one more night in Hollywood. It's been so long since I've seen the ocean.....I guess I should"
Golly, it's like that man knows the inside of my head!
8
Posted by Jai Narayan on December 16, 2003, at 7:03:42
In reply to I hate the holidays, posted by lavender on December 15, 2003, at 10:26:07
> So glad to see a place where I can identify with so many people and share my problems without being told to "cheer up".
<It's a bit much isn't it!
>I've been recovered from my depression for over a year, but what is it about the holidays that makes you feel so depressed even when you're not?
>
<I feel the same way about a sunny day...I must go out and have fun....it just gets to me.
> I'm really sick of my mother talking incessantly about my sister and her kids, I love my family but honest to God if my mother doesn't stop calling me every day to tell me about my poor sister and how busy she is or what cute new thing my niece said I'm going to kill myself!!! And if I dare say something I'll be labelled as jealous and never hear the end of it.
<At some point my mother just stopped telling me about my siblings and their accomplishments....she just stopped. I was never so happy and relieved.
You can ask your mom to stop...really and hopefully she will listen.
It was wonderful and it stopped a tremendous about of stress between my family members.Sometimes we can have what we want just by asking.
This is the end of the thread.
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