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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by giget on July 23, 2003, at 14:45:55
Well there go the emails again between me and my ex at work....
It is so painful and now he tells me that the good times were out number by the bad times. I agreded with him about the end... but now he says the whole 7 years was more bad than good.
He has told me in the past that I was the best thing that came into his life, that I was his world, and that he would not be on earth if I would not have come along.............
I am so pathetic.... I am just grabing on to anything at this point...
He said that he wished things would have turned out differently but they did not./...
I told him he can do something about his future and if he really wanted something he could have anythihg.....
ok... so I am weak and pathetic....
But this is literly killing me inside.
Posted by paxvox on July 23, 2003, at 17:37:16
In reply to So Screwed up.... again, posted by giget on July 23, 2003, at 14:45:55
Well.........why does he feel the need to email you to tell you how terrible you are/were if he is your "ex" boyfriend? Is he sending them to YOU or is he REPLYING to yours? If the relationship is indeed over, then the last thing you need is to hear from him how bad things have been. That's sorta cruel, I think! I understand your desire to "hold on to what you can", but if it's dead, it's dead, and you are doing no good by trying to breathe life back into it. Ultimately, you are being more harmful to yourself and subjecting yourself to further harm from him, by continuing this email exchange. Probably not what you wanted to hear, but if you wanted some objective feedback.........
PAX
Posted by giget on July 24, 2003, at 12:50:27
In reply to Re: So Screwed up.... again, posted by paxvox on July 23, 2003, at 17:37:16
When should I believe it is finally done? He has played this game before, not to this extent, but we always got back together... for the past two years.
I know I look weak.... but I just do not have the type of personality to just go on and get over it......
Posted by paxvox on July 24, 2003, at 17:57:35
In reply to Re: So Screwed up.... again, posted by giget on July 24, 2003, at 12:50:27
When is it done. Tough question, with even a tougher answer. If HE says he is done with it, and is moving along fine w/o you (i.e. going on dates, etc..) that's a pretty fair indication that it is over to him. If he thinks he can do that AND string you along for an occasional boff, then YOU need to be strong enough to tell him to bug off. An open wound where you keep picking the scab will continue to hurt you, and it will not heal over. A wound that is treated and left alone will heal more quickly, and leave less of a scar. I know how you feel, as I have been on both sides of your situation. For my 2 cents, the sooner you can end it, the sooner you can begin to live again for yourself, and the sooner you might notice the eye of that fellow you have always thought was cute and kind. Life is too short to put up with BS that you can end. A marriage is one thing, but a relationship without firm foundations.....well.....
PAX
Posted by giget on July 25, 2003, at 6:46:14
In reply to Re: So Screwed up.... again, posted by paxvox on July 24, 2003, at 17:57:35
Our Relationship had a firm foundation. Just becasue I did not have the paperwork from the state, does not mean that my relationship ment any less than a marriage ment. I spent more time in this Relationship that some people do in there marriages.
You are on the outside and do not understand what is gonig on in his head or mine.
I was looking for some help here, not someone saying that my hurt is not bad enough, and to just get over it.
How can you just one day let go of the one you have loved for so long and just forget about them. That person was your life, and it is a missing part for a while. Why do were have the greaving cycle set for the loss of a relationship, no matter if it is a marriage or not?
> When is it done. Tough question, with even a tougher answer. If HE says he is done with it, and is moving along fine w/o you (i.e. going on dates, etc..) that's a pretty fair indication that it is over to him. If he thinks he can do that AND string you along for an occasional boff, then YOU need to be strong enough to tell him to bug off. An open wound where you keep picking the scab will continue to hurt you, and it will not heal over. A wound that is treated and left alone will heal more quickly, and leave less of a scar. I know how you feel, as I have been on both sides of your situation. For my 2 cents, the sooner you can end it, the sooner you can begin to live again for yourself, and the sooner you might notice the eye of that fellow you have always thought was cute and kind. Life is too short to put up with BS that you can end. A marriage is one thing, but a relationship without firm foundations.....well.....
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> PAX
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