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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alii on April 30, 2002, at 9:23:30
Relaxation, schmelaxation. Studies techniques for years. A few work at various times but there is such a primal flight instinct that I face before some therapy sessions.
And this isn't just the sessions where we (therapist and myself) tackle tough issues. It's not every time and it's not like any other anxiety I've felt.
I'm almost to the point of buying off my fear by telling myself I'll get an ice cream cone if I go to today's session. Hah. Worked as a kid but now....
Suggestions?
Posted by Katt on April 30, 2002, at 9:55:19
In reply to How does one deal with dreading therapy?, posted by alii on April 30, 2002, at 9:23:30
I couldn't help you -- I hate therapy.
Posted by judy1 on April 30, 2002, at 11:20:54
In reply to How does one deal with dreading therapy?, posted by alii on April 30, 2002, at 9:23:30
That's happened to me but usually after a tough session, then I walk in and say I refuse to go there anymore and we all back off which I realize isn't constructive but it works. I suppose you don't want to sit around and talk about the weather, so take a break- why not? I'm doing that now- Judy
Posted by Penny on April 30, 2002, at 11:24:48
In reply to How does one deal with dreading therapy?, posted by alii on April 30, 2002, at 9:23:30
Alii,
Can you pinpoint a certain thought/perception you have before these sessions you dread? What could be the common thread? You say it's not before all sessions and not always when you are dealing with tough issues...is it when you have something you have to say to your therapist that makes you nervous? Or could it be a particular tough issue you're facing. I apologize as I'm sure you've already thought of these things.
The main thing I've gotten out of my therapy thus far has been that things have to get worse b/f they will get better. Meaning, if I am to ever overcome my issues, I have to face them head-on and survive that. Otherwise, they'll continue to subconsciously haunt me.
I have a fear of confrontation, and any time I think I have something to confront with my therapist (any time maybe we ended the previous week on a not-so-good note or I have something to 'confess' to her), I can barely make myself face that session.
When does the feeling of dread subside? During the session? Afterwards?
Penny
Posted by Fi on April 30, 2002, at 12:45:33
In reply to How does one deal with dreading therapy?, posted by alii on April 30, 2002, at 9:23:30
1. Absolutely nothing wrong with bribing yourself with ice cream!
2. If possible, can you discuss this with your therapist? Partly as they may help you sort it out a bit. And partly as actually saying how much you dread it can be a relief. Well, it was for me anyway- it felt like it had been this big secret. I had a phase like that but it got better.
If you cant raise it with your therapist, its worth thinking about whether you are with the right one. If they are that scarey or useless, you might do better with someone else who you develop a better relationship with. But it can be that the issues are feeling overwhelming, and I do hope you can discuss it with him/her.
Lots of luck!
Fi
Posted by alii on April 30, 2002, at 19:58:06
In reply to Re: How does one deal with dreading therapy? » alii, posted by Fi on April 30, 2002, at 12:45:33
Thank you for the responses all. Especially the honesty Katt offers! = )
From today's therapy----too angry and unfocused to respond back intelligently at this time.
--Alii
Posted by cmcdougall on May 2, 2002, at 12:56:29
In reply to Re: therapy dread...., posted by alii on April 30, 2002, at 19:58:06
Dear Alii,
Even though I've felt like s**t immediately afterwards, I've always felt good about going to therapy.
Upon reflection, I believe I looked forward to therapy because I was glad to be actively involved in helping myself. Therapy has always been interesting and even fascinating because to learn why I am the way I am (very strange ;-})feels GREAT! At times, therapy has been very sad because w/ understanding came great sorrow, regret, and grief for wasted years and wasted relationships. Oh well....
I have never understood the value of prolonged talk therapy. My attitude is, pay a professional to point out negative thoughts and behaviors, then teach you healthier ways of coping. Then you can decide whether you want to change, inact those changes, deal w/ the consequences of a change(not fun usually) and be through with it. Every 5 or 10 years I feel the need for a couple of "booster" sessions to keep me on a good course, and medication helps my mood and keeps me thinking rationally (most of the time).
I don't understand therapists who make clients fell bad about themselves. The only time to feel guilty is if we realize we have harmed someone in some way. The way to relieve that guilt is to make amends.
IMHO, anyone who rubs your face in your own mistakes over and over, making you feel worthless and miserable is just cruel. I am talking about doctors, friends, lovers, or family!
Maybe its time to consider a new therapist, one that can lead you on an exciting tour of your life, thoughts, and behaviors. This CAN be done in a way that might be painful but ultimately joyful and productive.
Love and luck,
Carly
Posted by waterlily on May 2, 2002, at 18:44:12
In reply to Re: therapy dread.... never dreaded it!, posted by cmcdougall on May 2, 2002, at 12:56:29
> >
> I have never understood the value of prolonged talk therapy. My attitude is, pay a professional to point out negative thoughts and behaviors, then teach you healthier ways of coping.How long is "prolonged talk therapy"? I don't know when I should stop. It's been a little over a year now and although I dread it at first, I usually feel good afterward.
Posted by cmcdougall on May 5, 2002, at 18:09:50
In reply to Re: therapy dread.... never dreaded it!, posted by waterlily on May 2, 2002, at 18:44:12
Dear Waterlily,
You asked...
> How long is "prolonged talk therapy"? I don't know when I should stop. It's been a little over a year now and although I dread it at first, I usually feel good afterward.IMO, ten or more sessions is "prolonged" unless there are NUMEROUS issues to deal with. If you find yourself going over and over the same issues and not getting any concrete solutions, its not working. If the therapist is giving you the same solutions over and over, then YOU are not doing the work (unless your therapist is offering crummy advice).
My experience w/ therapy was just the opposite of yours. I would look forward to going, then feel pretty bad after the session, usually because I gained insight into some stupid behavior and I would get mad at myself or feel regret over it. The bad feeling never lasted more than a few hours because I felt good that I was able to see my errors and vow not to repeat them.
I have a real appreciation for "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" (CBT). This form of therapy is popular because it is fast. It teaches you to recognize distorted thoughts, then gives instructions how to change the destructive behaviors. I took an intensive 10 day (3 hours per day) CBT program last year. It was in a group and I learned a LOT.
Maybe you could do something like that and put therapy behind you for a few years.
Love and luck,
Carly
Posted by Zo on May 6, 2002, at 4:27:18
In reply to Re: therapy dread.... never dreaded it!, posted by cmcdougall on May 5, 2002, at 18:09:50
. . .you might find, like I do, that keeping my biggest cheerleader in my life is a really nice thing. I never had support from parents or husband, life has been hard--so why not? I guess it's turned, over time, into getting support for who I am. I don't feel like I have to be sick, or am sick, to have my very own therapist--it's a real gift to myself.
I guess I have a pretty opposite view, as an artist, as a writer. I see life, and my work, and my hours with my therapist, as part of one long, interesting conversation. . .
Zo
Posted by waterlily on May 6, 2002, at 10:05:51
In reply to Re: Or on the other hand. . ., posted by Zo on May 6, 2002, at 4:27:18
Zoe - I think you hit the nail on the head. That is a good way to look at therapy. Thanks.
Kathy>
> . . .you might find, like I do, that keeping my biggest cheerleader in my life is a really nice thing. I never had support from parents or husband, life has been hard--so why not? I guess it's turned, over time, into getting support for who I am. I don't feel like I have to be sick, or am sick, to have my very own therapist--it's a real gift to myself.
>
> I guess I have a pretty opposite view, as an artist, as a writer. I see life, and my work, and my hours with my therapist, as part of one long, interesting conversation. . .
>
> Zo
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