![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Automated Lady on May 2, 2002, at 14:00:51
Hi everyone... I hope someone can give me some advice.
The career I want, which I've wanted since I was a kid, involves lots of self-motivation, confidence and creativity. I used to have that. Then I got depressed. I've struggled through my undergrad and postgrad courses and I'm now supposed to be looking for jobs in my chosen career. I'm terrified, because I don't think i can do it. Although some days I have whatI need, and I can get up and go out and get stuff done and talk to people, others I just can't. I don't know what to do. Should I just accept I can't do this job and try and do something else that'll be less difficult? (but I've invested so much time and money!) Are there people out there who hold down demanding jobs while suffering from mental illness? HELP!
AL
Posted by sid on May 2, 2002, at 14:47:31
In reply to How do you have a career when yr depressed?, posted by Automated Lady on May 2, 2002, at 14:00:51
Well Al, I could have written what you wrote!
I also invested a lot and will be looking for a job next fall/winter. I want to be in academics, which I am in, although not in a stable way - on soft money, hired as a research profesional and lecturer. Truth is, I'm teaching 3 grad classes a year, directing some students and doing research. Is it hard? Yes. I just started taking Effexor XR after years of fighting depression w/o ADs because it was still so much effort just to stay well. Plus I still had long-standing dysthymia.
I've decided to try for another year or two. If I still don't have a more stable job and if it's not pleasant anymore, then I'll stop and do something else. My self-confidence has been greatly eroded by depression and that's the one thing that's the most detrimental to me still. I've had failures which I never would have had before, and I now greatly apprehend stressful situations because I don't want the taste of failure in my mouth again. I lost control over myself (over my brain), and it felt horrible. I'm still afraid of that happening at any time.
Anyway, my point is, I understand what you're going through because I'm going through the same thing. Also, I am still trying, not because I invested so much, but because it is still my dream. The investment is a thing of the past - whether you continue on the same path or not, the past can't be changed. The important thing is that you be well in the future. If your priorities have changed, if your tastes have changed, then perhaps you should change your aspirations. Mind you, I'm still trying for an academic career, but not as great as I used to hope for. I've come to realize certain things over time, and even if I could be a great scholar, I prefer to be a good one, but also to have a life. I've always liked to do many things, and I can't think of devoting 24/7 to a job. 50/5 will be plenty for the first years, then 40/5 once I get tenure.
What is your dream NOW? Go for that. And have a fallback plan, just in case. If you decide to go for the great career, talk to your doc or therapist about it, they can help. If you're anxious, you can get meds for that (I'm on Effexor XR for anxiety too).
Good luck - you're not alone!
- sid
> Hi everyone... I hope someone can give me some advice.
>
> The career I want, which I've wanted since I was a kid, involves lots of self-motivation, confidence and creativity. I used to have that. Then I got depressed. I've struggled through my undergrad and postgrad courses and I'm now supposed to be looking for jobs in my chosen career. I'm terrified, because I don't think i can do it. Although some days I have whatI need, and I can get up and go out and get stuff done and talk to people, others I just can't. I don't know what to do. Should I just accept I can't do this job and try and do something else that'll be less difficult? (but I've invested so much time and money!) Are there people out there who hold down demanding jobs while suffering from mental illness? HELP!
>
> AL
Posted by cmcdougall on May 2, 2002, at 15:19:29
In reply to Re: How do you have a career when yr depressed? » Automated Lady, posted by sid on May 2, 2002, at 14:47:31
Hello (and thanks for your post to me),
Getting the right pharmaceutical treatment can make a BIG difference. When the depression is under control, everything is so much easier.
I do have one bit of advice that may be helpful. If your career is going to require a lot of motivation, choose a job where you will be working under someone who expects only great things from you. I am TERRIBLE at self-motivating, but have been very successful in several different fields. This is why:
I am a people pleaser. I love making people happy. I cannot get enough of people thinking I'm wonderful. This is kind of sick in a way - Especially when I have put up w/ abuse to get the payoff! Its a foible I will work on forever! :')
Anyway, when someone else depends on me, I can do brilliant things! I hate to disappoint someone when I so desparately need their approval.
I can take care of someone else's s**t much better than I take care of my own. Owning my own business or working out of the home is a disaster for me. I thought I could do it, and learned a very expensive (both $$ and relationship-wise) lesson. I am having to sell my business ( a darling gift shop that I love) because I seem to find ANY excuse not to be there. There's nobody there to be disappointed in me, or to reprimand me.
Hell, I have to face the truth. I wouldn't even cook or do laundry if nobody was here to complain if it didn't get done. And I LIVE for getting compliments on my wonderful cooking and hot-starched clothes. That is really SICK. LOL LOL I actually cook powdered starch for my ironing. Aren't you impressed? I hope so, thats the reason I do it! :')
Sometimes I am amazed at how twisted I am... I am amused too. I have struggled for many, many years to get over the need for approval and believe it or not, have made great strides. I dumped my jerk of a husband, resolved never to work again for a high maintenance boss, and I try every day not to feel so needy.
Alas, I ramble. Bottom line, find a way to get help FROM the situation at work. Don't choose a situation that encourages your shortcomings.
Love and luck,
Carly
Posted by sid on May 2, 2002, at 18:32:38
In reply to It aint easy, but it can be done..., posted by cmcdougall on May 2, 2002, at 15:19:29
Same here, Carly. If people expect things out of me, I can do miracles. When I'm the ultimate recipient of whatever good comes out of my action, nothing. I do have to reprimand myself and remind myself that I am my best friend...
and gosh darnit, people like me! LOLOLOL
Posted by Automated Lady on May 3, 2002, at 7:34:56
In reply to Re: It aint easy, but it can be done... » cmcdougall, posted by sid on May 2, 2002, at 18:32:38
Useful advice, and the people pleasing thing is totally me as well... that's part of the problem really. I'm in the bit of my career where I need to do that "proactive" thing, which basically means sending stuff to people who don't know me and may well reject me, and dragging myself out of bed in the morning and producing work which may never get any approval off anyone. If I can get past this stage I may well end up with something that suits me much more (where I get to people please..). I think it's a big push at the moment, and the annoying thing is that I'm SO chaotic and lethargic at the moment. I do need some meds that work but am at the mercy of the NHS's arbitrary, penny-pinching system. I was on Effexor for a bit, but it made me exhausted so I was sleeping 20 hours a day. I then went on Celexa and I had more energy but NO sex life and some weight gain and that in itself made me depressed. I'm on nothing at the moment cos I'm sick of feeling like some scientific experiment.
Sorry, going on a bit now. Think I'll marry an American and move to the States where I might get some proper treatment...
A xx
Posted by Sarahmarie on May 4, 2002, at 22:25:50
In reply to How do you have a career when yr depressed?, posted by Automated Lady on May 2, 2002, at 14:00:51
> Hi everyone... I hope someone can give me some advice.
>
> The career I want, which I've wanted since I was a kid, involves lots of self-motivation, confidence and creativity. I used to have that. Then I got depressed. I've struggled through my undergrad and postgrad courses and I'm now supposed to be looking for jobs in my chosen career. I'm terrified, because I don't think i can do it. Although some days I have whatI need, and I can get up and go out and get stuff done and talk to people, others I just can't. I don't know what to do. Should I just accept I can't do this job and try and do something else that'll be less difficult? (but I've invested so much time and money!) Are there people out there who hold down demanding jobs while suffering from mental illness? HELP!
>
> ALHaving a career when you are depressed is not easy, but believe me it can be done. I somehow finished raising four kids, got my Bachelor's degree and a few certifications, and after bad job supervisory experiences -- I truly have a career.
The people I work with believe in me and in my capabilities, something that I never felt from others prior to this time. Perhaps it was due to a very stable period in the depression and now that I have tasted the sweetness of success that comes from a career --- I don't want to lose it. So I try harder, even when my depression relapses.
Finding someone to work for who really believes in you can make a big difference. It really worked for me. Good Luck!!
Posted by ST on May 5, 2002, at 5:44:34
In reply to Re: How do you have a career when yr depressed?, posted by Sarahmarie on May 4, 2002, at 22:25:50
Oh tell me about it!
I'm an actress...for most of my 20s I was depressed and would run out of steam. I'd go through periods of being a real go-getter and then simply collapse from the exhaustion of it all and depression for months on end. Then I'd be up again and going for it full tilt...eventually I always became depressed again and would lose steam. In this business, constant drive and forward motion is what will get you where you want to go. Oh, yeah...and talent (although in LA it most often is not a requirement). But it was a pace that a depressed person (or me) simply could not keep up with. People who went to school with me or have workd with me would wonder aloud amongst themselves why someone "as talented" as me wasn't "more successful". This would just kill me!
I don't know what your career is, but it sounds like you need constant drive, ambition and a wealth of creativity at your disposal. Good luck-I know it can be done. Only now do I feel like I'm waking up from a dream and can balance my manic depression with my career AND my day job (massage therapy). I don't have that insane intensity I used to, but I also don't have the despairing crashes.
Good luck!
Sarah
Posted by Automated Lady on May 5, 2002, at 8:43:28
In reply to Career, artists and depression..., posted by ST on May 5, 2002, at 5:44:34
Thanks everyone. it's really good to get encouragement from people who *get it*.
AL xx
Posted by Sarahmarie on May 5, 2002, at 10:47:32
In reply to Career, artists and depression..., posted by ST on May 5, 2002, at 5:44:34
I think perhaps that I may have represented what I was trying to convey rather incompletely. I do have a career which requires a lot of drive, but it is also a very service oriented career and I get a real sense of helping others, particularly those men and women who serve in our armed forces.
I think that not only do I feel that others have been willing to put a little faith in me, but also that I do gain a great deal of satisfaction from being in a job that is so service oriented. There are times that are difficult and my depression does slip. I have a great Pdoc and Psychologist who are willing to work with me (most of the time. I guess I think for me that the career I currently have is a way to help my depression. I may not feel that way in another couple of years when I have have experienced more depressive relapses. But it is the way I feel right now.
I am just grateful to find multiple alternatives to help me deal with my depression.
SarahMarie
Posted by ST on May 5, 2002, at 20:06:55
In reply to Re: Career, artists and depression..., posted by Sarahmarie on May 5, 2002, at 10:47:32
>.....I do have a career which requires a lot of drive, but it is also a very service oriented career and I get a real sense of helping others, particularly those men and women who serve in our armed forces.>>
Could it be that because you are in a service oriented career, it helps you with your depression? And vice-versa? Other careers can be very selfish and self serving. How wonderful that by doing your job, you help others!
Sarah
Posted by Sarahmarie on May 5, 2002, at 23:45:27
In reply to Re: Career, artists and depression..., posted by Sarahmarie on May 5, 2002, at 10:47:32
> I think perhaps that I may have represented what I was trying to convey rather incompletely. I do have a career which requires a lot of drive, but it is also a very service oriented career and I get a real sense of helping others, particularly those men and women who serve in our armed forces.
>
> I think that not only do I feel that others have been willing to put a little faith in me, but also that I do gain a great deal of satisfaction from being in a job that is so service oriented. There are times that are difficult and my depression does slip. I have a great Pdoc and Psychologist who are willing to work with me (most of the time. I guess I think for me that the career I currently have is a way to help my depression. I may not feel that way in another couple of years when I have have experienced more depressive relapses. But it is the way I feel right now.
>
> I am just grateful to find multiple alternatives to help me deal with my depression.
>
> SarahMarieST
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I am so thankful that I do work in a field where I can serve others and perhaps that does help my depression a lot more than I realize. I am just going to keep on trying as long as I can, because this is so much better than living with depression 24/7. I will do whatever I have to so that my meds will keep working and I can continue in this job. Thanks again.SarahMarie
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.