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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by zipnull on February 19, 2002, at 9:29:03
I've been on assorted SRIs and now Lamictal & Aricept have been added. The drugs are great - they keep me alive. But with the passing of each month I feel lower and lower. I'm beginning to wish I never got on the psychopharms in the first place.
After I began the psychopharms I had hope. However, it’s been 4 years and I’ve lost hope. I keep telling my shrink that I'm so tired of living this way (I'm really trying to tell her that I want to die). But, she just says that she is sure things will get better. I really like her, but I think medicine has done all that it can.
I'm so tired - I don't want to live. My brain is a piece of worthless fuzz and all I think about is how to die in a socially uncomplicated manner. I want out!!!
Will I ever snap out of this depression? I know that there is no answer. I don't know why I'm telling you this. Maybe its because I can talk to you and you will listen. On the other hand its not very socially responsible to talk about dying. Can't seem to get anything right. I see my shrink on Thursday – I’ll tell her again that I’m exhausted with life and see if she can help me. But I know what she’ll say.
-zipnull
Posted by jane d on February 19, 2002, at 12:28:57
In reply to The drugs keep me alive... but, posted by zipnull on February 19, 2002, at 9:29:03
"...all I think about is how to die in a socially uncomplicated manner. I want out!!!"
" I see my shrink on Thursday – I’ll tell her again that I’m exhausted with life and see if she can help me. But I know what she’ll say."
zip,
Those 2 statements mean very different things to most people. You have to make yourself tell her how you really feel.
jane
Posted by kid47 on February 19, 2002, at 16:48:38
In reply to The drugs keep me alive... but, posted by zipnull on February 19, 2002, at 9:29:03
Hi. Sorry you are feeling so badly. It is frustrating trying to find the right med combo. For a lot of us it seems to be a never ending search for the perfect cocktail. Ocassionally there are times when we feel pretty good. It is hard to recall those times when we feel especially crappy. Rest assured, statiscally you are bound to find medicine that at least makes you feel better if not 100%. There are other alternate treatments involving supplelments, diet changes, exercise etc. you might want to check out.
I have thought about suicide quite a bit in the past. I decided i could never do that to the people who care about me. Especially my kids. Do you really believe you might take your life? If so, you need to make this very clear to your pdoc. There is a chance she will want to put you in the hospital, but that may be the very thing you need right now. Please keep posting & let us know how you are. As you are probably aware there are lots of really knowlegable people on these boards. They can suggest all sorts of different things to run by your doc. You might want to post on PB. List all the drugs you've tried & your response to them. A brief rundown of your dx is helpful also. I'm sure you'll get lots of valuable input. Take care
kev
> I've been on assorted SRIs and now Lamictal & Aricept have been added. The drugs are great - they keep me alive. But with the passing of each month I feel lower and lower. I'm beginning to wish I never got on the psychopharms in the first place.
>
> After I began the psychopharms I had hope. However, it’s been 4 years and I’ve lost hope. I keep telling my shrink that I'm so tired of living this way (I'm really trying to tell her that I want to die). But, she just says that she is sure things will get better. I really like her, but I think medicine has done all that it can.
>
> I'm so tired - I don't want to live. My brain is a piece of worthless fuzz and all I think about is how to die in a socially uncomplicated manner. I want out!!!
>
> Will I ever snap out of this depression? I know that there is no answer. I don't know why I'm telling you this. Maybe its because I can talk to you and you will listen. On the other hand its not very socially responsible to talk about dying. Can't seem to get anything right. I see my shrink on Thursday – I’ll tell her again that I’m exhausted with life and see if she can help me. But I know what she’ll say.
> -zipnull
Posted by zipnull on February 19, 2002, at 20:56:29
In reply to Re: The drugs keep me alive... but » zipnull, posted by jane d on February 19, 2002, at 12:28:57
> "...all I think about is how to die in a socially uncomplicated manner. I want out!!!"
>
> " I see my shrink on Thursday – I’ll tell her again that I’m exhausted with life and see if she can help me. But I know what she’ll say."
>
> zip,
>
> Those 2 statements mean very different things to most people. You have to make yourself tell her how you really feel.
>
> janeJane,
What should I tell her (my shrink) - I don't want to get myself hospitalized. Life is miserable enough without being locked up too.--zipnull
Posted by jane d on February 20, 2002, at 9:27:11
In reply to Re: The drugs keep me alive... but, posted by zipnull on February 19, 2002, at 20:56:29
Zip,
I don't know what you tell your shrink. My feelings have been following the same path over the past few years. The problem though is that if you just say you're tired of life that sounds like the type of every day complaint that many people can work out for themselves. Somewhere between that feeling and actively wanting to die I think you cross a line into an illness that you can't manage yourself. I think thats the reason that question is a part of all the diagnostic lists. And if you aren't honest about that your shrink doesn't really know that her treatment has failed so far.I share your feeling about being hospitalized but I don't think it's that easy to commit someone involuntarily these days. Not for just wishing to be dead. There are just too many people who feel that way.
Jane
Posted by Zo on February 22, 2002, at 1:25:40
In reply to The drugs keep me alive... but, posted by zipnull on February 19, 2002, at 9:29:03
What it means, dear zipnull, is simply that your drug mix isn't right yet.
I get to say this having been in your shoes about a million times. The point is, okay, you are going to feel this way, but the point is to not fully 100% believe it. Convincing though it may be.
Hang onto the idea that the mix justn't it right yet--'cause it ain't, or you wouldn't be having these thoughts, this pain, this ennui.
Best,
Zo
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