![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by creature on February 1, 2002, at 0:19:41
this is awful and awful selfish of me
Rick, significant other, ... had a bone biopsy and tons of blood work done yesterday...I'm scared...I'm sure he is too
today he had a blood transfusion, 3 units took 7 hours!.... looking like it's either leukemia or anapestic anemia, not good either way
I had really been ragging on him to see his dr....he's been having tons of nose bleeds that last 4 hours or more, extremely fatigued, and had 30 lbs in the last 2 months... his last nose bleed lasted 13 hrs. he wouldn't call his dr., so I did....dr. said you need to see an eye, ear, and nose specialist and let's do some blood work...the dr. himself calls Rick back, tells him something's really work (doesn't bother to explain more!) says he has to have a bone biopsy and see a Hematologist right away
so here we are....I told Rick ya gotta let me know what you need; mothering, left alone, just have me as company...he agreed
saw him right after the biopsy, went to give him a hug, Rick say's don't, I'll lose it if you go all lovey on me....so I'm playing it easy, tell him we'll deal with it as it comesthe selfish part, it's awful.............i don't know if I have the strength
still caretaking for my Mom (3 yrs now), drive her around every day, handle all 5 of her doctors appts for and medical tests, clean her house
plus I'm trying to get my medical crap taken care of; was supposed to have a MRI in the morning has to cancel, Rick's stuff is more of an emergency....and I just started a new program, not therapy but called psychiatric rehabilitation treatment program...it's 30 miles away
and when I do start with me new T, she 45 miles away
don't know how can and help Rick, mostly his treatment will be done at a Hosp. 70 miles away....my T and the program I'm supposed to start all in the opposite directionhow do I do all this...take of my Mom, help Rick, all my crap...plus we'll be moving
I'm without a therapist right now and my ICM (intensive case manager) is on vacation...no Pdoc either...not good, not good at all
how damn selfish can one person be
lynn
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
- Benjamin Franklin,
Posted by IsoM on February 1, 2002, at 2:20:06
In reply to i'm scared, he's really sick, posted by creature on February 1, 2002, at 0:19:41
I don't have anything concrete to tell you, to make things better. I know we'll all be behind you whenever you come here to unburden yourself. If nothing else, come here & rant & scream & cry. That's why we're here - to support one another.
In the meantime, try to simplify all unnecessary things in your life. Cut down on anything that can rob you of time or energy. Stick to simple meals, paper plates even, one big spoon or a fork to eat with instead of setting the table fully. Eat more fruits & veggies & take supplements to keep your health up. Try to get enough sleep.
Find some time to be alone & meditate or relax or something to try to recharge yourself. Put on soft gentle music or nature sounds to relax to.
Is there any other family members that can help share looking after your Mom. Or her housework, is there any one else who could clean? If not, just do the minimum needed to keep it tidy & clean. One older woman shouldn't get it dirty that fast.
Again, if there's no one else to share your fears with, come here & share them with us. Please take care of yourself.
Posted by ST on February 1, 2002, at 2:33:41
In reply to i'm scared, he's really sick, posted by creature on February 1, 2002, at 0:19:41
You don't sound selfish to me. These are real concerns. You HAVE to take care of yourself. I always remind myself: "You can't take care of others if you don't take care of yourself first".
Isom is right- simplify your life and take time out for yourself. Spend less time worrying about how selfish you are and more time being very loving with yourself right now. You're going to need it. That way you'll have room on your plate for all these things you are going to be dealing with.
Good luck!
Sarah
> this is awful and awful selfish of me
>
> Rick, significant other, ... had a bone biopsy and tons of blood work done yesterday...I'm scared...I'm sure he is too
>
> today he had a blood transfusion, 3 units took 7 hours!.... looking like it's either leukemia or anapestic anemia, not good either way
>
> I had really been ragging on him to see his dr....he's been having tons of nose bleeds that last 4 hours or more, extremely fatigued, and had 30 lbs in the last 2 months... his last nose bleed lasted 13 hrs. he wouldn't call his dr., so I did....dr. said you need to see an eye, ear, and nose specialist and let's do some blood work...the dr. himself calls Rick back, tells him something's really work (doesn't bother to explain more!) says he has to have a bone biopsy and see a Hematologist right away
>
> so here we are....I told Rick ya gotta let me know what you need; mothering, left alone, just have me as company...he agreed
> saw him right after the biopsy, went to give him a hug, Rick say's don't, I'll lose it if you go all lovey on me....so I'm playing it easy, tell him we'll deal with it as it comes
>
> the selfish part, it's awful.............i don't know if I have the strength
>
> still caretaking for my Mom (3 yrs now), drive her around every day, handle all 5 of her doctors appts for and medical tests, clean her house
>
> plus I'm trying to get my medical crap taken care of; was supposed to have a MRI in the morning has to cancel, Rick's stuff is more of an emergency....and I just started a new program, not therapy but called psychiatric rehabilitation treatment program...it's 30 miles away
> and when I do start with me new T, she 45 miles away
> don't know how can and help Rick, mostly his treatment will be done at a Hosp. 70 miles away....my T and the program I'm supposed to start all in the opposite direction
>
> how do I do all this...take of my Mom, help Rick, all my crap...plus we'll be moving
>
> I'm without a therapist right now and my ICM (intensive case manager) is on vacation...no Pdoc either...not good, not good at all
>
> how damn selfish can one person be
>
> lynn
>
>
> They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
> - Benjamin Franklin,
Posted by creature on February 1, 2002, at 21:38:22
In reply to Re: i'm scared, he's really sick, posted by ST on February 1, 2002, at 2:33:41
thank you both, so much! I probalby will be taking you up on posting here, to vent and rage
no, there is no other famliy...my sister lives across country and is recovering from major surgery
I have 2 daughters, ages 20 and 24...both have very busy lifes
my youngest lives with me, as does her 2 yr old son...she is a full time college student and works part time
my oldest is married (no kids) both her and her husband are in college full time and work, plus she's in the National Gaurdthere is only me, my Mom isn't considered to be bad enough to qualify for help
me...don't know how I can manage it all
in the last 2 yrs... my grandmother died, that was expected given her age, 100...then there were 2 sudden deaths of my closet friends...one from a sudden heartache, Bill was single parent raising his 4 boys....and Robin accidental overdose, her husband one a settlement on this..died at 34
both had struggled with depression for so many years, both we slowly turning the corner and for the first time they felt hope...then WHAMI'm sorry...rambling
I don't want Rick to worry about me, he needs to focus on healing, I want him to lean on me
Rick as offered me love, support, comfort, and push when I needed...lived with during the worst of my depression saw me every day when I was in the hosp, even though it was 70 miles awaylynn
Posted by ST on February 2, 2002, at 4:16:58
In reply to Re: i'm scared, he's really sick, posted by creature on February 1, 2002, at 21:38:22
Hang in there. Take it day by day and revel in your small victories: completing a task, knowing that you've comforted Rick on a particular day. And take care of yourself so you will be fresh and focused enough to handle everything.
Goos luck,
Sarah> thank you both, so much! I probalby will be taking you up on posting here, to vent and rage
>
> no, there is no other famliy...my sister lives across country and is recovering from major surgery
> I have 2 daughters, ages 20 and 24...both have very busy lifes
> my youngest lives with me, as does her 2 yr old son...she is a full time college student and works part time
> my oldest is married (no kids) both her and her husband are in college full time and work, plus she's in the National Gaurd
>
> there is only me, my Mom isn't considered to be bad enough to qualify for help
>
> me...don't know how I can manage it all
> in the last 2 yrs... my grandmother died, that was expected given her age, 100...then there were 2 sudden deaths of my closet friends...one from a sudden heartache, Bill was single parent raising his 4 boys....and Robin accidental overdose, her husband one a settlement on this..died at 34
> both had struggled with depression for so many years, both we slowly turning the corner and for the first time they felt hope...then WHAM
>
> I'm sorry...rambling
>
> I don't want Rick to worry about me, he needs to focus on healing, I want him to lean on me
> Rick as offered me love, support, comfort, and push when I needed...lived with during the worst of my depression saw me every day when I was in the hosp, even though it was 70 miles away
>
> lynn
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.