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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Willow on July 25, 2001, at 22:00:22
Are you gone?
Posted by kazoo on July 25, 2001, at 22:27:20
In reply to Kazoo ..., posted by Willow on July 25, 2001, at 22:00:22
> Are you gone?
^^^^^^^^
Physically: no.
Mentally: sometimes.
Socially: never.
Emotionally: every other Tuesday during summer months.Alas, alack, I remain, alive and kicking (and glad of it), a ... kazoo
Posted by Willow on July 25, 2001, at 22:45:02
In reply to Re: Kazoo ... Who? » Willow, posted by kazoo on July 25, 2001, at 22:27:20
> > Are you gone?
>
> ^^^^^^^^
>
> Physically: no.
> Mentally: sometimes.
> Socially: never.
> Emotionally: every other Tuesday during summer months.
>
> Alas, alack, I remain, alive and kicking (and glad of it), a ... kazooI'm pestering you, and I want you to blame you for it. What do you mean every other Tuesday?
Posted by lissa on July 25, 2001, at 22:53:38
In reply to Kazoo ..., posted by Willow on July 25, 2001, at 22:00:22
> Are you gone?
don't leave us, we don't hate you : )
Posted by Willow on July 25, 2001, at 22:53:57
In reply to Re: Kazoo ... Who?, posted by Willow on July 25, 2001, at 22:45:02
Kazoo ... Who?
I really want to know. I'm presuming, hoping, thinking, you are a man. My heart wouldn't skip a beat when I see a woman's post, since I already have a best girlfriend.
Do you like the Flinstones or is it music that has aspired you?
You're an experienced flirt, so I'm presuming you're single. Give me some advice ...
What am I suppose to do? Why am I so infatuated with you?
Twitching Willow
Posted by tina on July 26, 2001, at 8:22:50
In reply to Re: Kazoo ... Who?, posted by Willow on July 25, 2001, at 22:53:57
This is weird........
> Kazoo ... Who?
>
> I really want to know. I'm presuming, hoping, thinking, you are a man. My heart wouldn't skip a beat when I see a woman's post, since I already have a best girlfriend.
>
> Do you like the Flinstones or is it music that has aspired you?
>
> You're an experienced flirt, so I'm presuming you're single. Give me some advice ...
>
> What am I suppose to do? Why am I so infatuated with you?
>
> Twitching Willow
Posted by dreamer on July 26, 2001, at 12:04:41
In reply to Re: Kazoo ... Who?, posted by tina on July 26, 2001, at 8:22:50
> This is weird........
>
>
> > Kazoo ... Who?
> >
> > I really want to know. I'm presuming, hoping, thinking, you are a man. My heart wouldn't skip a beat when I see a woman's post, since I already have a best girlfriend.
> >
> > Do you like the Flinstones or is it music that has aspired you?
> >
> > You're an experienced flirt, so I'm presuming you're single. Give me some advice ...
> >
> > What am I suppose to do? Why am I so infatuated with you?
> >
> > Twitching WillowHas Willow been poppin too much effexor ~ so sweet, life's too short, luv romance, you go girl
Posted by Willow on July 26, 2001, at 12:52:42
In reply to Re: Kazoo + Willow ,a cybersummer romance, posted by dreamer on July 26, 2001, at 12:04:41
> Has Willow been poppin too much effexor ~ so sweet, life's too short, luv romance, you go girl
Dreamer
Why is it always the girl left in tears?
Posted by sar on July 26, 2001, at 13:31:43
In reply to a cybersummer romance, posted by Willow on July 26, 2001, at 12:52:42
Willow,
i haven't been on this board very long so i don't know what's up with you and kazoo, but you sound heartbroken! & i'm sorry...
but this is no good. this is like waiting by the phone. no good for you.
i agree with tina and dreamer.
sar
Posted by Willow on July 26, 2001, at 13:55:50
In reply to Re: a cybersummer romance, posted by sar on July 26, 2001, at 13:31:43
> but this is no good. this is like waiting by the phone. no good for you.
You are right! I'm trying to figure out how this happened????
Posted by dreamer on July 26, 2001, at 15:29:04
In reply to a cybersummer romance, posted by Willow on July 26, 2001, at 12:52:42
> > Has Willow been poppin too much effexor ~ so sweet, life's too short, luv romance, you go girl
>
> Dreamer
> Why is it always the girl left in tears?I guess some - alot just enjoy the chase .Dunno? When the attention is got, get high -ego boost and move on to the next prey
Posted by meaningless on July 26, 2001, at 16:28:43
In reply to Re: a cybersummer romance, posted by Willow on July 26, 2001, at 13:55:50
Hi Willow,I`ve been following the „summer romance thread“ and I think maybe my personal experience might be of intererst for you. It`s a true story, but if there`s any advice in it... I don`t know but I hope that knowing you are not alone with what you feel at the moment could help you.
It all began several months ago. I "met" someone on an internet-discussion board, we got on well, e-mailed each other and finally started to talk via an instant messenger service (which scared me at first. A real time chat, me? With my "poor" english? But it turned out that I can manage it)
We became friends and had a lot of fun, and one day he asked me if I would mind if he invites someone else to join the chat. And, tell you what, we had even more fun 3 people chatting.
The friend who has been invited was going through a difficult time and somehow we started to chat regularly (just him and me) and I enjoyed that very much. This was fine for a few months but "something" would bother me more and more each time we chatted. And that was the distance of 700km between us (sorry, don`t know what that`s in miles, but it is a long distance).If you get on so well with someone, it`s only natural that you wish to meet that person „in the flesh“, but I suppose it was more than that.
At first, he was a little scared when I told him, I would like to visit. That was in January. In February.. guess, what happened? Yes, I finally mananged to „talk his head off“ until he agreed ;o)
Don`t get me wrong, it`s not that he did not want to meet me, he`s just „very english“ and ... a little shy.
So, there I was, booking a flight to England. And it`s absolutely honestly when I say I never had any doubts like „Girl, do you know what you are doing? You are going to visit a complete stranger in a foreign country, you must be nuts!“. No. I never thought of such things – which is quite uncommon for me, I am a skeptical and wary person.
And I still think there was something my heart did know, long before my brain even realized it`s presence.
He collected me from the coach station, then we had dinner together. MMmmm... makes me hungry just to think of it. Yes, he cooked for us... is that so unbelievable? :o)
Later then I checked in to the guest-house and we said good night. Well, it was not realy a „good“ night. I couldn`t find to sleep and ended up watching a film and afterwards the Teletubbies (woe!) until dawn.
I don`t want to bore you with each detail of the following day, so I will skip it – in the evening we went to the cinema and watched „cast away“ (horrible this scene when Tom Hanks uses an ice-skate to remove his aching tooth, isn`t it?). I still did not notice anything.. well, maybe I did, but tried to ignore it. But then, on the way home, I was sitting next to him in his car... suddenly there it was. An overwhelming smell. Odd? Yes, perhaps. I am very sensitive for smells, must be a hereditary disease ;o)
Anyway.. it drove me crazy, I could feel how my heart began to stumble....and I had no idea what to do.
I think now it`s time to mention that I am in a relationship. My partner and I are together for 6 years. See my dilemma? But in this moment, I did not think about him, I forgot almost everything around me, this emotions were just too strong to ignore or try to be logical (whatever that means).
We arrived at his flat and he again cooked for us. I felt that I could not handle to pretend I did not feel anything for him for another 2 days. I went outside to smoke a cigarette (and to think about it all). When I came back into the kitchen, he looked at me, obviously worried if there`s anything wrong with me. And that it was... I took a deep breath... and told him about my feelings. It took about 15 (painful!) minutes to make him understand what I was saying. As I said.. „shy guy“, he could not believe that this was true. But then...phew...it turned out that he felt the same for me and I grabbed him and gave him a great hug (he was still too shy to do so, but we are emancipated women, aren`t we?) At the end of the day we ... yes, you are right, exactly that. And it was wonderful...sigh.
We spent another 2 romantic days and nights together. And then....I had to go back home.
I felt like I was dreaming at that time.. nothing seemed „real“. At first we agreed to take our romance as a gift of life, an opportunity which we just grasped. But, of course... there is no romance without love (at least for me this is impossible). And things became complicated within the following months. There were days, when I missed him like hell.. I can tell you. And so he did.
As a consequence, another visit followed. More days and nights full of love and romance, and again it came the day when we had to say goodbye for another 2 months or so. I have to admit that I was unpleased with my relationship at that time (and maybe I still am). I suffer from recurring phases of depression for about 14 years, and my partner has not the foggiest idea what that means. It`s not only that.. there are several things which are difficult between us.
So, and there he was. Understanding, romantic, loving... everything what I ever wished for. What now?
When the pain which missing him caused me became too much one day (and I had kept it inside for much too long as I had to hide it back at work and also from my partner), well, one night when we were chatting it all came out in a blast... and I made a „fatal“ decision. I asked him if he would move over to germany in case I would split up with my partner.. and he said „yes“. Oh dear... I still regret that I was unable to prevent this to happen. „Regret“ perhaps is the wrong word. I don´t regret anything ... and I am pretty sure I would change nothing if I could turn back time and start at the beginning. It was just too wonderful and I don`t want to miss this very special experience in my life.
At the next day.. my brain started working again and I had to realize that I already had tried to leave my partner, and failed badly. I just could not imagine my life without him. I love him, despite all things wich might be wrong between us. I am still willing to „repair“ this relationship and it seems it is not hopeless, so I should not throw it away that „easy“. And, additional to that, I strongly believe that, if I would have split up with him to be with someone else... the new realtionship would have been doomed to fail. On the one hand, there is surely nothing more romantic than „doing everything for love“, but on the other... no-one can switch off old memories that quickly. I think, sooner or later I would have blamed my new partner for making me split up with the other one because in my opinion, leaving someone just because there`s something more „appetizing“ is the wrong way. It is unfair against both, the „lover“ and the „partner“. If I decide there is no way to make my relationship work anymore.. then it has to be because it`s really over and not because I am trying to go the „easy way“. It took me a long time to realize that and even more sleepless nights, or in best case crying myself to sleep. And that was not only beause of my own pain. I said I felt „something“ for my english Mr. Wonderful. That`s not quite right. I love him. Yes, I still do. Sure, this love has changed from „passionately“ to more or less „platonic“ but this mysterious bond between us is still there and I believe that will never change.
And when you love someone, of course you care for him. I cannot describe the desperation I felt, knowing my decision was the only sensible if I wanted to prevent even more pain for us both to come, but that doesn`t mean it did not brake my heart to see him so sad and so badly hurt. And as I said, it was a „sensible“ decision, which I mainly made using my brain and suppressing the feelings I had. I still think it was the best thing to do, but nonetheless, sometimes it still hurts. Will take time to come over it, but I am optimistic that this special bond between him and me will be strong enough, so we can go back to „just friends“. Actually, we already agreed to try it and are much more successful as it would be expected on both sides when we made this agreement a few weeks ago.
It will be an „uncommon“ friendship, because of what happened between us, but maybe especially because of that it is different (in a positive way) from other friendships. We know each other very well and can talk about everything without any taboos. I did not have many good friends in my life and I NEVER had a friend like him before.
So, Willow. That was my story so far, but the chapter is not closed, and I am looking forward to continue writing my „book of life“ which is now enriched by a very special person.
Posted by Willow on July 26, 2001, at 21:58:20
In reply to Re: a cybersummer romance (long) willow , posted by meaningless on July 26, 2001, at 16:28:43
Meaningless
Thank you for your post. I don't know if I said this before, but it is "less painful" to learn from others experiences.
I don't know if I was ready to take it out of this cyber world, I don't think my anxiety would let me. I think my cyber-friend just said the right words at the right time, a time when I really needed to hear them. And the more I questioned my feelings the more I needed to know why they where there. Those dam archives, when I went over them I was expecting to squash them but instead they were just enforeced.
I'm sure if I was to meet him in person I would have just as much respect and admiration for the man, perhaps more, but I'll never know. I guess it'll just be one of those little "what ifs?"
Thanks for sharing
Willow
Posted by kazoo on July 27, 2001, at 0:03:31
In reply to Re: a cybersummer romance (long) willow , posted by meaningless on July 26, 2001, at 16:28:43
> I`ve been following the „summer romance thread“ ...
Romance? Who said anything about a "romance"?
I am stunned and embarassed ... my cheeks are red ... all four of them.
In the words of the late, great Richard Burton: "You haven't experienced Italy until you've had lasagna," but what did he know? He only married and divorced her twice.
I apologize, Willow, if I had led you to believe that my posts were anything less than honorable. If nothing else, I am a gentleman (most times).
You certainly deserve better than my dull wit and dumb humor.
However, you should understand that I am still at odds over recent events (specified in a previous post), so (EVERYBODY!) cut me some slack at this point in time.
So as it is written, so shall it be done: this is my final word on the subject.
(a thankful) kazoo
Posted by dreamer on July 27, 2001, at 7:45:31
In reply to Re: a cybersummer romance? , posted by kazoo on July 27, 2001, at 0:03:31
> > I`ve been following the „summer romance thread“ ...
>
> Romance? Who said anything about a "romance"?
>
> I am stunned and embarassed ... my cheeks are red ... all four of them.
>
> In the words of the late, great Richard Burton: "You haven't experienced Italy until you've had lasagna," but what did he know? He only married and divorced her twice.
>
> I apologize, Willow, if I had led you to believe that my posts were anything less than honorable. If nothing else, I am a gentleman (most times).
>
> You certainly deserve better than my dull wit and dumb humor.
>
> However, you should understand that I am still at odds over recent events (specified in a previous post), so (EVERYBODY!) cut me some slack at this point in time.
>
> So as it is written, so shall it be done: this is my final word on the subject.
>
> (a thankful) kazoo
Posted by Willow on July 28, 2001, at 0:05:09
In reply to Re: a cybersummer romance? , posted by kazoo on July 27, 2001, at 0:03:31
As I sat outside alone, the wind beckoned me to play
Softly calling, tickling, inviting ...
Shyly I raised my arms jestingly
He lifted me highI soared on his warm southerly breeze
Higher, faster, bolder ...
He blew from the north unexpectedly
I stumbledThat day the wind died
I descended
I hear the wind no more
Posted by kazoo on July 28, 2001, at 0:37:32
In reply to Sorry! » kazoo, posted by Willow on July 28, 2001, at 0:05:09
> As I sat outside alone, the wind beckoned me to play
> Softly calling, tickling, inviting ...
> Shyly I raised my arms jestingly
> He lifted me high
>
> I soared on his warm southerly breeze
> Higher, faster, bolder ...
> He blew from the north unexpectedly
> I stumbled
>
> That day the wind died
> I descended
> I hear the wind no moreAnd speaking of the wind ... you're probably too young to remember this one: "If you blow in my ear, I will follow you forever."
Please don't apologize because nothing "wrong" was done.
Your poem is lovely, my dear, but it's too sad, and I don't like "sad." I've had enough of "sad" in the past 10 days to last me years.
So let's make a deal: if you get rid of your "sad," I'll dump mine as well. Who needs or wants it anyway?
The only redeeming value to "sad" is that it makes "glad" all the more worthwhile to achieve and attain.
It's easier than you think.
(a penitent) kazoo
Posted by Willow on July 28, 2001, at 15:17:59
In reply to Re: Sorry!... (but for what?) » Willow, posted by kazoo on July 28, 2001, at 0:37:32
Kazoo
I knew I should take a break from this terminal, but couldn't force myself to do it and on a spur decided to take a day trip. Packing up my three young ones on short notice is no quiet feat. I thought of posting you quickly to apologize for the way I had carried on, but figured you would easily brush it off. My mistake!
The trip went well. Travelling south I saw many trees that remind me of my childhood. (Why do trees give me such comfort? Perhaps it is because they're so steadfast in a world that changes so quickly.) I so wanted to swing on one of the branches and woop with joy.
Late in the evening sitting down with my tea it was hard for me to believe that the day had happened except that the glow was still there. I read the first board, happy to see that you had been around.
I don't understand why it is that I allow you to play so freely with my emotions. Did you not recognize yourself in my earlier post?
A splintered weeping willow
the wind was too strong
Posted by lissa on July 28, 2001, at 23:02:08
In reply to Re: Sorry!... (but for what?) » Willow, posted by kazoo on July 28, 2001, at 0:37:32
> Your poem is lovely, my dear, but it's too sad, and I don't like "sad." I've had enough of "sad" in the past 10 days to last me years.Five, if you're lucky (gets better eventually). I can say I know what it is like, at least, and it didn't happen with a neighbor (though I can imagine the death of a friend's son must be very devastating).
Our livingroom was a garden of exotic flora, our kitchen, filled with rare species of apples. And what for? I could have used some Calvin and Hobbes cartoons, some Charlie Brown. Orchids, lilies? Whatever. I was pretty inconsolable at the time, so I don't know that I can say much to you other than read comics (if you like that) and grab a companion and go out for a walk. Then again, maybe you've thought of that already and your good humor still seems intact. Perhaps your own mind is more entertaining than any comic book (is for many of us, probably ... :o)
wishing you the best,
lissa
This is the end of the thread.
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