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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phil on June 17, 2001, at 9:10:21
These individual quotes were reportedly taken from
actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation.(1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached
rock bottom.....and has started to dig."
(2) "His men would follow him anywhere...but only out of
morbid curiosity."
(3) "I would not allow this employee to breed."
(4) "This employee is really not so much of a
'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."
(5) "Works well when under constant supervision and
cornered like a rat in a trap."
(6) "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only
to change feet."
(7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot
puddle."
(8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
(9) "He sets low personal standards and then
consistently fails to achieve them."
(10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of
an idiot."
(11) "This employee should go far, ..... and the sooner
he starts, the better."
(12) "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to
hold it all together."
(13) "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an
ordinary ignoramus."
(14) "He certainly takes a long time to make his
pointless."
(15) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
(16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
(17) "He's been working with glue too much."
(18) "He would argue with a signpost."
(19) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
(20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the
room."
(21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
(22) "If you see two people talking and one looks bored,
... he's the other one."
(23) "A photographic memory but with the lens cover
glued on."
(24) "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
(25) "Donated his brain to science before he was done
using it."
(26) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the
train isn't coming."
(27) "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out
looking for it."
(28) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be
watered twice a week."
(29) "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd
get change."
(30) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the
oceans."
(31) "It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other
sperm to the egg."
(32) "One neuron short of a synapse."
(33) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge;.....he
only gargled."
(34) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
(35) "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
Posted by Shar on June 17, 2001, at 12:04:24
In reply to My crazy brothers send me these..sorry., posted by Phil on June 17, 2001, at 9:10:21
Phil -
Had I known that your brothers were crazy too, I would have been much nicer to you!! Didn't know it ran in the family....you just didn't have a chance, did ya?Good funnies.
Shar
> These individual quotes were reportedly taken from
> actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation.
>
> (1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached
> rock bottom.....and has started to dig."
> (2) "His men would follow him anywhere...but only out of
> morbid curiosity."
> (3) "I would not allow this employee to breed."
> (4) "This employee is really not so much of a
> 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."
> (5) "Works well when under constant supervision and
> cornered like a rat in a trap."
> (6) "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only
> to change feet."
> (7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot
> puddle."
> (8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
> (9) "He sets low personal standards and then
> consistently fails to achieve them."
> (10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of
> an idiot."
> (11) "This employee should go far, ..... and the sooner
> he starts, the better."
> (12) "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to
> hold it all together."
> (13) "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an
> ordinary ignoramus."
> (14) "He certainly takes a long time to make his
> pointless."
> (15) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
> (16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
> (17) "He's been working with glue too much."
> (18) "He would argue with a signpost."
> (19) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
> (20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the
> room."
> (21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
> (22) "If you see two people talking and one looks bored,
> ... he's the other one."
> (23) "A photographic memory but with the lens cover
> glued on."
> (24) "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
> (25) "Donated his brain to science before he was done
> using it."
> (26) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the
> train isn't coming."
> (27) "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out
> looking for it."
> (28) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be
> watered twice a week."
> (29) "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd
> get change."
> (30) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the
> oceans."
> (31) "It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other
> sperm to the egg."
> (32) "One neuron short of a synapse."
> (33) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge;.....he
> only gargled."
> (34) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
> (35) "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
Posted by mist on June 18, 2001, at 12:28:50
In reply to My crazy brothers send me these..sorry., posted by Phil on June 17, 2001, at 9:10:21
> These individual quotes were reportedly taken from
> actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation.
>
> (1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached
> rock bottom.....and has started to dig."
> (2) "His men would follow him anywhere...but only out of
> morbid curiosity."
> (3) "I would not allow this employee to breed."
> (4) "This employee is really not so much of a
> 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."
> (5) "Works well when under constant supervision and
> cornered like a rat in a trap."
> (6) "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only
> to change feet."
> (7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot
> puddle."
> (8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
> (9) "He sets low personal standards and then
> consistently fails to achieve them."
> (10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of
> an idiot."
> (11) "This employee should go far, ..... and the sooner
> he starts, the better."
> (12) "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to
> hold it all together."
> (13) "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an
> ordinary ignoramus."
> (14) "He certainly takes a long time to make his
> pointless."
> (15) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
> (16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
> (17) "He's been working with glue too much."
> (18) "He would argue with a signpost."
> (19) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
> (20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the
> room."
> (21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
> (22) "If you see two people talking and one looks bored,
> ... he's the other one."
> (23) "A photographic memory but with the lens cover
> glued on."
> (24) "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
> (25) "Donated his brain to science before he was done
> using it."
> (26) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the
> train isn't coming."
> (27) "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out
> looking for it."
> (28) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be
> watered twice a week."
> (29) "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd
> get change."
> (30) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the
> oceans."
> (31) "It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other
> sperm to the egg."
> (32) "One neuron short of a synapse."
> (33) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge;.....he
> only gargled."
> (34) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
> (35) "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
Posted by Phil on June 18, 2001, at 18:28:33
In reply to Great posts, Phil. They're hilarious. (NP), posted by mist on June 18, 2001, at 12:28:50
> > These individual quotes were reportedly taken from
> > actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation.
> >
> > (1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached
> > rock bottom.....and has started to dig."
> > (2) "His men would follow him anywhere...but only out of
> > morbid curiosity."
> > (3) "I would not allow this employee to breed."
> > (4) "This employee is really not so much of a
> > 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."
> > (5) "Works well when under constant supervision and
> > cornered like a rat in a trap."
> > (6) "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only
> > to change feet."
> > (7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot
> > puddle."
> > (8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
> > (9) "He sets low personal standards and then
> > consistently fails to achieve them."
> > (10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of
> > an idiot."
> > (11) "This employee should go far, ..... and the sooner
> > he starts, the better."
> > (12) "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to
> > hold it all together."
> > (13) "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an
> > ordinary ignoramus."
> > (14) "He certainly takes a long time to make his
> > pointless."
> > (15) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
> > (16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
> > (17) "He's been working with glue too much."
> > (18) "He would argue with a signpost."
> > (19) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
> > (20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the
> > room."
> > (21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
> > (22) "If you see two people talking and one looks bored,
> > ... he's the other one."
> > (23) "A photographic memory but with the lens cover
> > glued on."
> > (24) "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
> > (25) "Donated his brain to science before he was done
> > using it."
> > (26) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the
> > train isn't coming."
> > (27) "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out
> > looking for it."
> > (28) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be
> > watered twice a week."
> > (29) "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd
> > get change."
> > (30) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the
> > oceans."
> > (31) "It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other
> > sperm to the egg."
> > (32) "One neuron short of a synapse."
> > (33) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge;.....he
> > only gargled."
> > (34) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
> > (35) "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
Posted by Cass on June 21, 2001, at 19:05:00
In reply to My crazy brothers send me these..sorry., posted by Phil on June 17, 2001, at 9:10:21
I love to read funny things on the web. The more the better.
This is the end of the thread.
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