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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kellyR. on December 4, 2000, at 20:55:24
I told my boss the the reason I was coming in late was because I couldn't get up in the morning w/ my new med (haldo). That was 2 weeks ago & it might be just me but she seems to act different now that she knows it more then just depression I'm dealing w/. She takes it easier on me then the other workers & it makes it hard for me w/ the other workers cause they see it too, they say things like I must be mrs.stoddards pet.I wish I didn't have to tell her but my job was on the line. I feel like this is high school teasing but I geuss some people never grow up.
Posted by Ted on December 4, 2000, at 22:32:20
In reply to what happens when the boss knows about you!!!!!!!!, posted by kellyR. on December 4, 2000, at 20:55:24
Hi Kelly,
Here is what happened to me: I was hospitalized on a Saturday, my wife had to call my manager and say I wasn't going to be in for a *long time*. Then my wife had to call my secretary & HR & get the disability stuff started without help from me.
Since I "disappeared" with no warning, everyone was very curious about what happened. So, this is what I did:
I TOLD EVERYONE THE WHOLE STORY.
Yup, that's right. I told everyone who wanted to know as much as they wanted -- what the psych ward was like, the quality of the food, what the nurses were like, how the meds made me feel, etc. I made it my mission to EDUCATE so that depression, and in my case bipolar disorder, aren't stigmatized.
So what happened? Nothing at all. It took me about 6 months to get back up to speed at work, and I have been doing my part since. I still get bonuses, raises, etc. And no one appears to think any differently of me. They knew I was a bit, ummm, wierd to begin with, so this really isn't a surprise. Sure, life isn't the same for me and I have side effects from my meds which interfere, but my manager understands and cuts me some slack.
You might ask Mrs. Stoddard is she might talk to your coworkers on your behalf. That might improve the situation between you and them a bit. Take advantage of the leniency provided right now because it probably won't last, especially if you have to change jobs in the future.
Take care, and le us know how it turns out.
Ted
Posted by NikkiT2 on December 5, 2000, at 5:14:26
In reply to what happens when the boss knows about you!!!!!!!!, posted by kellyR. on December 4, 2000, at 20:55:24
Thats hard. I told my boss when things started getting really bad, and he was really sympathetic, and id all he could to help. ut I now have a new boss, who I have been nothing but open with, and he's giving me a real hard time. I've had disciplinary procedures over my sick leave / time keeping (even though I make sure I do all my hours), and in general he is making life as hard for me as possible.
Maybe you could explain to your boss you don't want any special treatment, just some understanding when you need it.
Nikki x
Posted by Noa on December 5, 2000, at 6:26:49
In reply to Re: what happens when the boss knows about you!!!!!!!!, posted by NikkiT2 on December 5, 2000, at 5:14:26
> Maybe you could explain to your boss you don't want any special treatment, just some understanding when you need it.
I agree.
Posted by coral on December 6, 2000, at 13:30:47
In reply to Re: what happens when the boss knows about you!!!!!!!!, posted by NikkiT2 on December 5, 2000, at 5:14:26
Dear Nikki and Kelly,
You have protection under the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act.) Talk to someone in the HR Department and let them know what's going on.
Nikki: You do not have to tolerate abusive conduct by your boss.Often, as Ted explained, educating people is in the best interest of everyone involved, but do make sure you've notified the HR Dept.
Good luck and let me know if I can be of assistance.
Coral
Posted by NikkiT2 on December 7, 2000, at 6:21:37
In reply to Re: what happens when the boss knows about you!!!!!!!!, posted by coral on December 6, 2000, at 13:30:47
Unfortunately I'm not covered by ADA... I live in the UK! I don't think I'm covered by anything really, other than very basic employment law. To be covered by the disibality at work act, you ahve to be registered disabled with the Government.
All I can do is carry on and work, however bad I feel.
*sighs*
Nikki
Posted by pullmarine on December 7, 2000, at 20:27:36
In reply to what happens when the boss knows about you!!!!!!!!, posted by kellyR. on December 4, 2000, at 20:55:24
the people i work with are as psychotic, if not more psychotic than I am, so I feel very safe, very understood, and cared and watched out for.
the other three people have also been on meds. one has had serious substance problems, another has a long history of repeated suicide attempts.
john
Posted by Christina on December 8, 2000, at 0:40:45
In reply to what happens when the boss knows about you!!!!!!!!, posted by kellyR. on December 4, 2000, at 20:55:24
In my last job, I did very well over all, but co-workers sometimed complained about my tardiness, forgetfullness, and other idosyncrasies.
I never told my boss what was up with me... she just thought I was a "free spirit" and needed flexibility in order to produce (which I did).
She was cool.Now, it's a different situation... I get harrassed from a new boss and coworkers (I'm in a different job)
for various things (like missing deadlines, blanking out in meetings, doing things differently from the company norm). So I finally told them what was up. I think they understand that I'm not lazy or stupid, but they still nag a lot.
But I am glad they know what is up with me, and that persons with mental illness often have no control over the onset or effects of their illness (much the same as other physiological illnesses).
Most of the people I work with are mean and arrogant anyway, so what do I care what they think?
Posted by Noa on December 8, 2000, at 10:49:05
In reply to Re: what happens when the boss knows about you!!!!!!!!, posted by Christina on December 8, 2000, at 0:40:45
It is so hard to know whether to tell or not to tell.
In many ways, I am glad I told my boss and closest coworkers last year, becuase my performance during that first year on the job was not very good, and that is all they know of how I work. Now that I am functioning more normally, I sometimes wonder how I got through the year last year! I think if I hadn't told them, and they thought that was my normal level of functioning, why would they want to keep me aorund? As it is, I still feel somewhat like I have to work hard at restoring how I am seen as a worker.
On the other hand, it is always a risk when you divulge such information. For example, I recently had a conflict with a close co-worker, whom I like. She had voiced, very loudly and publicly, her opinion about the time of a meeting I had set up, a meeting that did not involve her at all. She was rather aggressive about expressing this opinion, and did so in front of one of the people whom I had requested to attend this meeting. It hadn't been her place to do so, because it didn't involve her and also she had no idea how much effort went into finding a time when all parties could meet. And, the manner of her objection was also inappropriate. I had expected to confront her about this privately but a few days went by and I decided it wasn't a high priority. However, a few days later, we were eating lunch in her office together and she brought up the meeting, jokingly asking if I had gotten complaints about the time of the meeting. Since she brought it up, I decided to confront her. Well, she got kind of defensive, although in a very civil way (we usually work together very well). But, (and this is the point of telling this story here), she also dealt a low blow by saying, "well, you wouldn't have been able to make it to a meeting at that time last year". I felt that she said this just to attack, because she felt attacked by me confronting her on inappropriately butting into the meeting thing. I was really disappointed in her for saying that. She had been one of my main supports last year, and I disclosed a lot to her.
I don't think she will use the info in any worse way than that, but still, it is a reminder of how you have to be cautious when disclosing information to people.
BTW, she left the next day for a vacation, and I imagine that when she returns, we can work normally together. I have had fleeting thoughts of saying something about her comment, but I think I feel like leaving it alone, unless she makes any more like that.
Posted by Neal on December 31, 2000, at 13:36:13
In reply to Re: what happens when the boss knows about you!!!!!!!!, posted by Noa on December 8, 2000, at 10:49:05
Noa,
See my post, above, under the thread "Do people think you're weird" --Neal
BTW, this survey of the public's perception of mental illness was done in the early 1990's
Public perception of mental illness.
___________________________
71% -Due to emotional weakness
65% -Caused by bad parenting
45% -Victim's fault; will it away
43% -Incurable
35% -Consequence of sinful behavior
10% -Has biological basis; involves the brain.Hopefully, the public has become a little more educated in the last ten years, but I wouldn't bank on it.
This is the end of the thread.
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