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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 17 to 41 of 41. Go back in thread:
Posted by Ronnjee on January 29, 2014, at 9:31:28
In reply to Re: Good move, Bobby. I am not impressed. » Ronnjee, posted by SLS on January 29, 2014, at 9:17:17
Forgot to address one of your questions. My request for an apology was stupid and pointless.
Posted by SLS on January 29, 2014, at 9:35:07
In reply to Re: Good move, Bobby. I am not impressed. » SLS, posted by Ronnjee on January 29, 2014, at 9:31:28
> Forgot to address one of your questions. My request for an apology was stupid and pointless.
Okay.
- Scott
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 30, 2014, at 3:14:46
In reply to Re: negative and destructive posts » Dr. Bob, posted by Twinleaf on January 28, 2014, at 18:58:23
> Bob, one of the reasons I am now such a staunch proponent for doing nothing as a form of civility is that the countering of such posts, more often than not as far as I've seen ... can tell, regardless of content is received as a challenge, and leads to a pissing contest.
>
> RonnjeeNot all contests are pissing contests, or only pissing contests. All that is necessary for the triumph of destructiveness is that constructive posters do nothing.
--
> I don't want to be a part of those threads. I frankly, often don't feel I understand them well enough to comment. A detached poster jumping in trying to tell a lot of angry upset people to calm down would probably be infuriating.
>
> TwinleafI didn't mean addressing those being negative and destructive. I agree, that could escalate the situation, and I'd just as soon you left that to me. I meant addressing those on the receiving end. Could you imagine posting something positive and constructive to them?
Bob
Posted by Ronnjee on January 30, 2014, at 11:31:58
In reply to Re: negative and destructive posts, posted by Dr. Bob on January 30, 2014, at 3:14:46
Do you think this game of civility/PC Whack-A-Mole is actually beneficial? To anybody?
I don't.
You remind me of the Bill Murray role in Caddyshack.
Posted by Partlycloudy on January 30, 2014, at 12:21:07
In reply to Re: negative and destructive posts » Dr. Bob, posted by Ronnjee on January 30, 2014, at 11:31:58
<snort!>
Posted by Ronnjee on January 30, 2014, at 12:30:18
In reply to Re: negative and destructive posts » Ronnjee, posted by Partlycloudy on January 30, 2014, at 12:21:07
> <snort!>
No comprendo.
Posted by Partlycloudy on January 30, 2014, at 13:29:54
In reply to Re: negative and destructive posts, posted by Ronnjee on January 30, 2014, at 12:30:18
> > <snort!>
>
> No comprendo.
>
>
>I am laughing at your joke and it is also an oldie but a goody babble reference. I didn't mean to be weird.
PC
Posted by Ronnjee on January 30, 2014, at 13:32:22
In reply to Re: negative and destructive posts » Ronnjee, posted by Partlycloudy on January 30, 2014, at 13:29:54
Posted by Partlycloudy on January 30, 2014, at 13:45:47
In reply to Weird Is Good! (nm) » Partlycloudy, posted by Ronnjee on January 30, 2014, at 13:32:22
Oh, good. It's all I've got, really. Babble has become a foreign land these days. I don't know the language. So I have a nice rock I hide under and I post on Social when I feel a necessity to bare my soul. God knows why.
Posted by Ronnjee on January 30, 2014, at 14:29:02
In reply to Re: Weird Is Good! » Ronnjee, posted by Partlycloudy on January 30, 2014, at 13:45:47
> I don't know the language.
>
How could you? It changes every day.
Posted by Ronnjee on January 30, 2014, at 16:14:25
In reply to Re: Weird Is Good! » Ronnjee, posted by Partlycloudy on January 30, 2014, at 13:45:47
> Babble has become a foreign land these days. I
> don't know the language.
>
And the "language", being a moving target, requires a sharpshooter to hit the target. There seems to be some who think that everyone on PB should be a sharpshooter, and that everyone is capable of being one. I don't share that exclusive view.
Posted by Partlycloudy on January 30, 2014, at 17:40:52
In reply to Re: Weird Is Good!, posted by Ronnjee on January 30, 2014, at 16:14:25
> > Babble has become a foreign land these days. I
> > don't know the language.
> >
> And the "language", being a moving target, requires a sharpshooter to hit the target. There seems to be some who think that everyone on PB should be a sharpshooter, and that everyone is capable of being one. I don't share that exclusive view.
>I am usually pretty facile in blending in, language wise, at least with the Romance languages. I know schoolgirl French, so I can get along in France without being called out. Italy is fairly easy once you get the local dialect sounded out. I managed to live in England without being ferreted out for years.
But this territory, once friendly, helpful, and well run, has changed in a way that others have articulated better than I. Some are convinced it is for the better. I long for the shelter I once knew. If I wanted the real world, what would I be doing on an Internet forum?
Plenty of room under the rock, by the way.
PC
Posted by alexandra_k on January 30, 2014, at 22:17:16
In reply to Re: negative and destructive posts, posted by Dr. Bob on January 30, 2014, at 3:14:46
> All that is necessary for the triumph of destructiveness is that constructive posters do nothing.
That is really, really, really, really, hard, though. As in, an awful big ask. It is hard enough to ignore / not contribute negatively, sometimes. Hard enough to have shields go up. Hard enough to not respond at all. Harder still, to not even read posts one knows full well one is only likely to find upsetting. Hard to not respond out of anger or hurt or indignance or... An attempt to protect others.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 2, 2014, at 2:01:45
In reply to Re: negative and destructive posts, posted by alexandra_k on January 30, 2014, at 22:17:16
> Do you think this game of civility/PC Whack-A-Mole is actually beneficial? To anybody?
>
> I don't.
>
> You remind me of the Bill Murray role in Caddyshack.
>
> RonnjeeI like Bill Murray. And actually think the old system was more like that. Whack-a-Duck.
--
> If I wanted the real world, what would I be doing on an Internet forum?
>
> PCMaybe there are posters would prefer to be in the real world, but feel unequipped or unsupported, and find this an intermediate space.
--
> > All that is necessary for the triumph of destructiveness is that constructive posters do nothing.
>
> That is really, really, really, really, hard, though. As in, an awful big ask. It is hard enough to ignore / not contribute negatively, sometimes. Hard enough to have shields go up. Hard enough to not respond at all. Harder still, to not even read posts one knows full well one is only likely to find upsetting. Hard to not respond out of anger or hurt or indignance or... An attempt to protect others.
>
> alexandra_kYes, I know.
Bob
Posted by Twinleaf on February 4, 2014, at 10:22:07
In reply to Re: negative and destructive posts, posted by Dr. Bob on January 28, 2014, at 18:04:35
I feel that I have been genuinely supportive of others whenever it was possible to do so and really mean it. I originally asked for administrative help with the present epidemic of negative posts because I really didn't understand what was going on, and didn't feel that I could personally do anything helpful. I was hopeful that a minimal, occasional amount of administration action might put a stop to the negativity and allow the posters involved to return to their usual more positive ways of posting.
I am not alone in thinking that Babble is in danger of going under; the same worry has recently been expressed by a number of other posters - all of us value what Babble has to offer at its best, and would be very sad to see that happen.
I find it very strange that almost the only administrative actions have been directed at me. I have not been destructive to anyone; the posts directed towards you , for which you have punished and even taunted me, have all been written out of worry for how Babble is going. I suggest alternative administrative actions; that, of course, doesn't mean that you have to agree with them or accept them, but I do thnk they should be treated with respect, and not treated as posts designed to "put you down".. The way things are at present, I am punished for constructive suggestions, and posters in a negative, destructive frame of mind are supported in that behavior!
No wonder so many people have left, and so many of those remaining are worried.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 6, 2014, at 3:11:25
In reply to Re: negative and destructive posts » Dr. Bob, posted by Twinleaf on February 4, 2014, at 10:22:07
> I was hopeful that a minimal, occasional amount of administration action might put a stop to the negativity
OK, let's give it a try. Hope springs eternal. Here's some negativity:
> Babble is in danger of going under
>
> you have punished and even taunted me
> I am punished for constructive suggestions, and posters in a negative, destructive frame of mind are supported in that behavior!
>
> so many people have left, and so many of those remaining are worried.And here's a minimal administrative action:
Post about outcomes you hope for instead of those you fear. Support rather than accuse. Don't discourage; encourage.
How effective will that be? We'll see.
Bob
Posted by Twinleaf on February 8, 2014, at 19:54:18
In reply to Re: minimal administrative action » Twinleaf, posted by Dr. Bob on February 6, 2014, at 3:11:25
As I understand it, when a person takes comments or concerns about a problem and transfers them to a different problem, topic or person, it is called "projective identification".
Unfortunately, using projective identification not only doesn't solve the original problem, it also turns a neutral area into an additional source of difficulty and stress. Psychotherapists seem to know that it is vital to focus intently on helping their clients learn to recognize what their true problems really are. They also help them recognize their own projections, while learning a more responsive and direct style of communicating and problem-solving which addresses the real difficulty.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on February 8, 2014, at 20:32:31
In reply to Re: minimal administrative action » Twinleaf, posted by Dr. Bob on February 6, 2014, at 3:11:25
Dr Bob,
You're kinda screwed no matter what. You just can't do a damn thing right. ;-)Are you a masochist??
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 9, 2014, at 23:51:09
In reply to Re: minimal administrative action » Dr. Bob, posted by sleepygirl2 on February 8, 2014, at 20:32:31
> You're kinda screwed no matter what. You just can't do a damn thing right. ;-)
>
> Are you a masochist??I must be! :-)
Bob
Posted by SLS on February 10, 2014, at 6:46:22
In reply to Re: minimal administrative action, posted by Dr. Bob on February 9, 2014, at 23:51:09
> > You're kinda screwed no matter what. You just can't do a damn thing right. ;-)
> >
> > Are you a masochist??
>
> I must be! :-)
>
> BobI must say that I don't totally understand what it is that has motivated you to make yourself available to so much verbal abuse for all of these years. I like to think it is because you realize that your presence on the Internet is valuable and has probably saved lives. This is not hyperbole. Still, it would be interesting to understand the dynamics for why some people target you with such vitriol. I have not always been terribly kind to you, to be sure.
Thank you.
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on February 10, 2014, at 19:49:14
In reply to Re: minimal administrative action » Dr. Bob, posted by SLS on February 10, 2014, at 6:46:22
I feel Dr Bob is interacting with us in a playful manner. No abusive to me. Phillipa
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 11, 2014, at 13:00:22
In reply to Re: minimal administrative action » Dr. Bob, posted by SLS on February 10, 2014, at 6:46:22
> I must say that I don't totally understand what it is that has motivated you to make yourself available to so much verbal abuse for all of these years. I like to think it is because you realize that your presence on the Internet is valuable and has probably saved lives.
I have a shield, so I can withstand some verbal abuse. And that enables me to persevere here.
Bob
Posted by Ronnjee on February 11, 2014, at 18:18:53
In reply to Re: what it is that motivates you, posted by Dr. Bob on February 11, 2014, at 13:00:22
>
> I have a shield, so I can withstand some verbal abuse. And that enables me to persevere here.
>
> Bob
>
Call it what you will, but PB is no different from real life, in that a tremendous amount of genuine tolerance is required for peaceful coexistence. Some cultures try to deal with social unrest by enacting typical crime-and-punishment legislation. Such cultures, like the US, have high prison populations, and still the same unrest. Other cultures somehow embrace tolerance.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 12, 2014, at 22:54:51
In reply to Re: what it is that motivates you, posted by Ronnjee on February 11, 2014, at 18:18:53
> > I have a shield, so I can withstand some verbal abuse. And that enables me to persevere here.
>
> Call it what you will, but PB is no different from real life, in that a tremendous amount of genuine tolerance is required for peaceful coexistence. Some cultures try to deal with social unrest by enacting typical crime-and-punishment legislation. Such cultures, like the US, have high prison populations, and still the same unrest. Other cultures somehow embrace tolerance.That's another way to put it: I have a shield, so I can tolerate some verbal abuse. But should abuse of any kind be tolerated?
Bob
Posted by Ronnjee on February 13, 2014, at 2:09:44
In reply to Re: tolerance, posted by Dr. Bob on February 12, 2014, at 22:54:51
> But should abuse of any kind be tolerated?
>
> BobPlease forgive me if I've used this quote before:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
In kindergarten times, our moms taught us, "sticks or stones......", but did we all "get" it?
And often, like here, abuse is in the eyes of the beholder.
I thought of this many years ago - if you call me a dirty Jew and I punch you out for it, I've proven you right. I try to live by it.
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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