Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on April 14, 2009, at 11:10:27
Anyways, had saw pdoc today and talked about Dr. Bob a bit before pdoc turned conversation to my Dad.
Pdoc said it wasn't kosher for Dr. Bob to spend alone time with me in SF. I told her how Dr. Bob ignored me when I asked if we could do something together Friday night in SF.
She said it wasn't professional. She said Dr. Bob can't be friends with anyone here.
Why can't Dr. Bob be friends with any of us? What does it mean to be professional? Why does Dr. Bob have to be professional?
Posted by Cass on April 14, 2009, at 22:12:51
In reply to Why does Dr. Bob have to be professional?, posted by Deneb on April 14, 2009, at 11:10:27
Dr. Bob isn't our doctor. He is our website moderator, so I'm not sure why you're pdoc said he has to be professional. As a website moderator, I don't see why he couldn't socialize with us, and that's really the point of this get-together in SF anyways.
Posted by fayeroe on April 14, 2009, at 22:32:02
In reply to Why does Dr. Bob have to be professional?, posted by Deneb on April 14, 2009, at 11:10:27
> Anyways, had saw pdoc today and talked about Dr. Bob a bit before pdoc turned conversation to my Dad.
>
> Pdoc said it wasn't kosher for Dr. Bob to spend alone time with me in SF. I told her how Dr. Bob ignored me when I asked if we could do something together Friday night in SF.Deneb, there are a number of reasons (my opinion) that it wouldn't be "kosher" for Dr. Bob to do something with just you on Friday in SF.
1. He is a professional and as such he does have to conduct himself in a manner of openness and transparency. When a person with high visibility is meeting with a group of people, it wouldn't be a good idea for him to spend time with one member of the group. There will be others there, as I understand it.
2. I don't know how old Dr. Bob is but I imagine that you are a "few" years younger than him. That is something that I am sure your Pdoc took into consideration.
>
> She said it wasn't professional. She said Dr. Bob can't be friends with anyone here.I think that Dr. Bob can and will be friends with everyone there. There will be group activities that all will take part in..including you!! You aren't going to be alone in S.F.
>
> Why can't Dr. Bob be friends with any of us? What does it mean to be professional? Why does Dr. Bob have to be professional?Dr. Bob is the "leader" of this pack at Babble. He formed this group, as a professional, for his research. For me, if I were him, I wouldn't want to "muddy" the waters very much by spending too much time with his "subjects"...one on one time..
Being professional is a term that can be used almost anywhere. I was professional when I taught at the prison..meaning that I maintained the security of the offenders, I maintained boundaries and filters in my interpersonal relationship with them. Being professional means that you take the highest standard of your job and maintain that. Bob has to do that in order to maintain the "security" of the group and the research..
Now, Bob, if you want to answer this and change it............come on up!!!
Deneb, I hope that this helps you. Pat
Posted by Deneb on April 14, 2009, at 22:34:46
In reply to Re: Why does Dr. Bob have to be professional?, posted by Cass on April 14, 2009, at 22:12:51
That's what I thought too.
Pdoc said Dr. Bob can't be friends with some of us because otherwise he would have to be friends with everyone here and he can't do that. Pdoc said Dr. Bob can't give some of us special treatment because as administrator he has to be impartial.
I am having a hard time lately with Dr. Bob not responding to anything I write. I wonder if he'll ignore me in SF too? :-(
:-(
Sad Deneb
Posted by fayeroe on April 14, 2009, at 22:40:49
In reply to Re: Why does Dr. Bob have to be professional? » Cass, posted by Deneb on April 14, 2009, at 22:34:46
> That's what I thought too.
>
> Pdoc said Dr. Bob can't be friends with some of us because otherwise he would have to be friends with everyone here and he can't do that. Pdoc said Dr. Bob can't give some of us special treatment because as administrator he has to be impartial.
>
> I am having a hard time lately with Dr. Bob not responding to anything I write. I wonder if he'll ignore me in SF too? :-(
>
> :-(
>
> Sad DenebDeneb, sounds like you are "projecting" about S.F. When I decide something that I don't like is going to happen with/to me..it usually does. I have found that if I visualize the positive results that I would like to have, I am much more likely to be happy with what happens.
Pat
Posted by Deneb on April 14, 2009, at 22:49:40
In reply to Re: Why does Dr. Bob have to be professional? » Deneb, posted by fayeroe on April 14, 2009, at 22:32:02
Thanks for replying Fayeroe.
Is it like how it is not a good idea to be friends with you subordinates when you are a boss?
At my work the supervisors are friends with many of interviewers.
As long as they don't let their friendship affect their work, it is OK.
We are not part of research though. We're not, right?
Posted by Deneb on April 14, 2009, at 22:57:52
In reply to Re: Why does Dr. Bob have to be professional? » fayeroe, posted by Deneb on April 14, 2009, at 22:49:40
Ugh, I feel tantrumy, I am trying to deal.
The thing is, I think even if Dr. Bob were to joke around with me now, it will never be enough. I'd just want more and more.
I was OK for a long time though, with random bits of attention from Dr. Bob.
I need to learn to be OK without it.
Posted by fayeroe on April 15, 2009, at 8:51:13
In reply to Re: Why does Dr. Bob have to be professional? » fayeroe, posted by Deneb on April 14, 2009, at 22:49:40
> Thanks for replying Fayeroe.
>
> Is it like how it is not a good idea to be friends with you subordinates when you are a boss?Yes.
>
> At my work the supervisors are friends with many of interviewers.
>
> As long as they don't let their friendship affect their work, it is OK.
>
> We are not part of research though. We're not, right?Well, Bob has used Babble content before and probably will again. We know when we come here that he can use our posts. When we sign up, we agree to it.
>
>
>
>
This is the end of the thread.
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