![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 6 to 30 of 41. Go back in thread:
Posted by karen_kay on August 20, 2007, at 13:03:04
In reply to Redirect a thread and the 'Eating Forum', posted by Maxime on August 19, 2007, at 20:32:21
says issues with food.
i kinda feel i've been having some 'issues' with food lately. i kinda feel li's also been having issues as well. she's on a healthy path now, but that's come more recently.
i just wonder, do we need to have a written dr's note with a dx signed and returned stating 'xxx has an eating disorder' to get some help from others on this board?
i'm not trying to be uncivil, nor am i trying to be impolite. this is honestly somethign i've been struggling with for quite a while. and it's something i went to the eating page hoping to get some help with. (and of course i know, everyone can post to who(m??)ever they want, ect.....)
but, to have a page for 5-7 posters? and to have the feeling (and this is just my feelign of course) you must be dx with an ed to post on this page (even when it says 'issues'), when you are looking for some help to figure out if perhaps maybe there is something wrong with you????
well, this isn't coming out right. or maybe it's coming out perfect. i never know.
kk,
who's starting to just stick to her dumbass silly stories anyway
Posted by muffled on August 20, 2007, at 13:53:05
In reply to Re: Board names/descriptors, discussion??)Bob)Babb, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 20, 2007, at 8:28:55
Its a tough call on the eating board...
It would be nice to come up with an understandable 'outline' of what the board is wanting to encompass...
Then maybe the health board would be more accessed if it was called health/nutrition? or something like that?
I think there will always be challenges re: content on the boards, and that is where it is kind of those who recognize a possible trigger, to tag it. I myself have not recognized some of the 'trigger' words used on the eating board. So its up to those who know to help out by posting a trigger warning.
My board that I stay on mostly is psychology. You tend to get to know people who frequent a particular board. Regularly there will be delightful drop ins from other board 'regulars' and thats always wonderful. The 'range' of topic on psych is quite broad. Sometimes we may get a little bit away from specifically what the board is about, but it seems to be OK, and I feel its good to be allowed to stray somewhat, because we know each other there, and so get responses from our friends, and of course from new potential friends as well.
I don't have the time to go all over to other boards looking for posts, I usu only go to other boards if someone has alerted me to something. So I would miss posts from my buddies if they posted elsewhere, and so I lose some continuity.
There has also been issue with 'content' on the psych board. Esp regarding triggers. I think we have very succussfully handled some very difficult topics, and have made excellent use of the trigger warnings there. If anyone wants to come on over and see. Its DOES work. Which doesn't mean we never get triggered, we do, and sometimes badly, but we manage to resolve it one way or another.
There was recently a very challenging thread re:the value of even going to T at all!!! LOL!! Naturally that was difficult on a board with many long term therapy clients!!! It was difficult, but was handled well, and in fact brought up some good ideas and discussion.
So the point of this discourse is, is that there WILL be triggers. We just have to be careful. And there have been times when I just have been too fragile to be able to handle babble and just need to stay away awhile. This seems to happen for many. At these times, I can just b-mail a couple of babble buddies for support.
The longer I am on babble, the more complex I realize it is. It takes time to know when to walk away, and when to RUN! And when to help, and when to let others help. So many complexities.
So to sum this lengthy boring thing up.
I think the boards are generally going to have to have a certain broadness of topic, but it 'should' imho have some initial definition thats reasonably clear.
I think trigger warnings are a useful and valuable tool and people need not to be nervous or offended by them because we may not always understand what triggers others, and thats OK.
I also beleive we will be triggered no matter how careful we all are, and that its noones fault. Its just the way it is. Theres alot of people here, with alot of diff issues, so its impossible to avoid.
I dunno if this makes any sense.
Dragging info from this brain and trying to give it any coherancy it very hard for me.
Best wishes to all.
Muffled
Posted by muffled on August 20, 2007, at 14:10:54
In reply to header at top of page..., posted by karen_kay on August 20, 2007, at 13:03:04
> says issues with food.
**yup. I think thats where we need some perhaps greater definition, cuz its not clear to me either.
> i kinda feel i've been having some 'issues' with food lately. i kinda feel li's also been having issues as well. she's on a healthy path now, but that's come more recently.
>
> i just wonder, do we need to have a written dr's note with a dx signed and returned stating 'xxx has an eating disorder' to get some help from others on this board?**I think KK its more a matter of ED's being SO utterly misunderstood by the general masses. I have a realative that is very obese, she has tried evrything known to man to lose weight. It affects her life in so many negative ways, it has compromised her health, yet STILL, I have had people make comments like, 'he health would be better if she lost weight...'. OF COURSE it would, my relative would give anything to have her life back, but she CAN'T. She has TRIED. Its a nightmare in so many ways. Its sort of along the lines of how people will say to a clincally depressed person, 'just get up and DO something, 'snap out of it'. Sigh. So I understand how ED people may well tend to get hypersensitive to anything to do w/eating etc :-(
> i'm not trying to be uncivil, nor am i trying to be impolite. this is honestly somethign i've been struggling with for quite a while. and it's something i went to the eating page hoping to get some help with. (and of course i know, everyone can post to who(m??)ever they want, ect.....)**I understand. I also think dietary type stuff cou;ld fit under health or psychology or pyscho(as related to meds) etc....thats where I'd like to see more clarity in the definition.
I would like to see a board where those who have struggled w/ED and are hypersensitive(UNDERSTANDABLY)to certain topics, can bond and feel safe. Maybe the eating board can become that place, but it needs to be clearly defined as such.
> but, to have a page for 5-7 posters? and to have the feeling (and this is just my feelign of course) you must be dx with an ed to post on this page (even when it says 'issues'), when you are looking for some help to figure out if perhaps maybe there is something wrong with you????**I think the board would maybe grow, if it became known as a safe place for ED people...
AND there is nothing wrong from tactfully asking questions on a board and asking for some direction, hopefully it would be given, and you could be directed to a board that was most appropriate for the topic, while still maintaining a 'safe place' for those who frequent that board.
>
> well, this isn't coming out right. or maybe it's coming out perfect. i never know.**:-) KK, you are a delight. its VERY hard to express ourselves here sometimes, to make the words come out right.
> who's starting to just stick to her dumbass silly stories anyway
>
**I hope you don't have to feel that way :-(
BUT! I DO love your dumbass stories!!!!! :-0 :-) ;-) ;-}
So KK this is meant to be a general post as well as adressed to you cuz you brought up some good points for me.
Thx, take care,
Muffled
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 20, 2007, at 15:17:17
In reply to Re: header at top of page..., posted by muffled on August 20, 2007, at 14:10:54
Will /eating/ only be a safe place for people with eating disorders?
-Ll
Posted by karen_kay on August 20, 2007, at 15:21:48
In reply to Re: header at top of page... » muffled, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 20, 2007, at 15:17:17
who don't have one, but really need some 'hip hip hoorays' to keep them eating?
Posted by muffled on August 20, 2007, at 15:31:20
In reply to Re: header at top of page... » muffled, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 20, 2007, at 15:17:17
> Will /eating/ only be a safe place for people with eating disorders?
>
> -LlHi Llurpy! :-)
Any how, to your question.
This is what I am trying to define.
Not having any known full blown ED myself I dunno what constitutes 'safe', or what is exactly triggering in a very bad way. All I really know, is that I can sometimes be quite intuitive(or somestimes completely wrong, or sometimes insensitive....OK so I'm human!), so I can often get a sense of where people are comming from, a feeling of how they feel. I am lost about how it feels for ED people. Or maybe i just don't WANT to feel (I am quite the avoider of uncomfortable feelings...), so mebbe I am afraid to feel the pain that they feel,maybe I sense it and run. Maybe its from having a close relative feeli this pain and to witness it. I dunno. I guess I just have a sense of it, and I know I don't understand it, and I have a sense of how ongoingly these 'people'(I'm NOT meaning to label or generalize)hurt and struggle and have their issues constantly in their face. So this is why I am even involved in this discussion.
I guess I just feel, from my life experience, that ED people feel (justifiably) misunderstood and can tend to be on guard for ANY seeming things sent their way, or even in their most generale direction.
So I dunno myself really if this is a board that needs to be created or whatever. I just feel for this particular disorder, and wish them safety and a measure of peace if they can find it.
M
Posted by muffled on August 20, 2007, at 16:29:03
In reply to and what about those.., posted by karen_kay on August 20, 2007, at 15:21:48
> who don't have one, but really need some 'hip hip hoorays' to keep them eating?
>
>Dunno for sure KK.
But hip hip hooray to you!!!!!!
I think you could also post on psycholgy bout it....?
I MAY be just a LITTLE bit biased!!!! but I think its the best board ;-)
Anyhow, from what I gather, the great babble guru is away at this time, so this may take time to resolve...
In the meantime...
I dunno?
Patience?
Anyhow, love to see you on pyschology, mebbe I can give you some of my lard somehow in some kind of cosmic moleccular transfer?!
I wish....
Oh well. Lifes just not easy...
But cheer you on I will!
(((KK)))
M
Posted by karen_kay on August 20, 2007, at 16:55:45
In reply to Re: and what about those.. » karen_kay, posted by muffled on August 20, 2007, at 16:29:03
but since i don't have 'bubba' anymore, i don't go around there much.
i guess the main point i'm making is the feeling of exclusion and help on the eating page, you know? i mean, i'm not claiming to have any sort of ed, i'd just really appreciate some support in somethign i've found very stressful. and support is soemthign i've found lacking over there. forgive me if this is uncivil or hurtful, but does a dx, list of certain criteria (though i have no clue what they are, nor do i even want to look into them honestly for my own personal reasons).....
blah! maybe you're right. but, if i post my stress and lack of eating on psychology, would it jsut get redirected to eating, health, social, ect?
as for the lard: hardey har har! that's not my problem doll. i've stil got my pot belly to get me through the winter :) though, if you've some to contribute to my boob fund, i'd be more than willing to have it implanted right up there!!!!
you're a sweetie, sweets! and i'll keep up my dumbass stories, just for you.
Posted by muffled on August 20, 2007, at 18:16:33
In reply to that's the one i started on :) » muffled, posted by karen_kay on August 20, 2007, at 16:55:45
I'm turning into Bob!?
So...........
This is more about the feeling of being unsupported and excluded. perhaps with a topping of a feeling of rejection?
Bob.
LOL.
Nasty emotions.
I try and stay away from emotions.
They only cause me pain.
I prefer a clinical distance.
Objective observation.
The emptyness of non emotion.
So maybe feelings have inadvertantly been hurt :-(
I somehow doubt it was intentional, but it hurts nonetheless.
And others scramble to protect their exposed flanks.
Its hard.
Hard, hard, hard, sh*t see, TRIGGER.
F*ck sometimes I get all messed by stupid stupid words.
I wish we could not hurt each other.
I wish we could all accept ourselves.
I wish emotions didn't hurt and scare the crap outta me.
I have no T.
Sucks.
I think I should stop now.
I am coldly clinically realizing I am gpoing of on one of my 'turns', much of it completely unrealated to babble.
Sorry.
M
Posted by karen_kay on August 20, 2007, at 20:04:49
In reply to OH NO *trigger?*, posted by muffled on August 20, 2007, at 18:16:33
oh dear! i didn't mean to start anything dear.
in regards to the eating board: you know, it really doesn't even matter. some clear-cut perimeters would be nice. but, in all honesty, i think feelings have been hurt all around. i hope i haven't hurt any, and i'm sure none were hurt intentionally, but i stil think some feelings have been hurt, you know?
i forgot to take my klonopin today and have realized that my reactions to things were way out of whack.
i hope i'm not starting anything i really didn't mean to. and half the time, i don't knwo what i'm saying or typing anymore dear.
(((muffled))) if i've upset you in any way by somethign i've said, i certainly didn't mean to. i really would never put anything out to hurt your feelings dear. adn if i've done that, i sincerely want to say (type/whatever) 'i'm sorry'. if i asked you to marry me, would that help? i did reread my previous post, and i realized that what i wrote could have been viewed as sarcastic. i really didn't mean for that. again, i can't type i'm sorry enough, but i'll sure try dear.
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorryi hope that helps a bit dear. again, i'm very sorry.
sad faced kk :(
Posted by muffled on August 20, 2007, at 20:37:45
In reply to oh no!! » muffled, posted by karen_kay on August 20, 2007, at 20:04:49
KK you are a delight.
NO! You didn't upset me, its just hard to explain, but sometimes I get into a way of being that I am not fond of, and then I realize it, and then there's general repercussions...
LOL! Even though I can appear quite rational...I'm crazy as a loon ;-) !!!!!
And I will give you 5 lbs for each boob if you like? A coupla 5 pounders ought to fill out the dresses, you dancing queen! And then mebbe I can fit into some of my jeans again...;-0 !!!
Take good care.
It may be *me* clamouring to marry you next!
Muffled
Posted by Racer on August 23, 2007, at 13:35:20
In reply to Re: oh my!! » karen_kay, posted by muffled on August 20, 2007, at 20:37:45
In treatment for EDs, mostly we talk about the *feelings* related to food, eating, body issues, etc. We don't talk about eating per se, for the most part. (Sometimes we discuss some of our crazy bits with certain foods, but mostly it's not about the food.)
What I would be looking for is a place to discuss the feelings involved, how to be motivated towards recovery, why I hate myself so much, why I associate that with my weight/size, etc. As such, a board about dieting and cheering people on for losing weight, etc, wouldn't be a safe place for me. Every time I read even the subject lines about getting towards a goal weight, I start hating myself even more for my weakness, being fat, etc.
Does that mean I think only someone with a doctor's form showing a dx of one of the eating disorders should be allowed to post on the Eating board? No. It does mean, though, that I think the talk about eating, diets, meal plans, etc, would be better on the Health board. For one thing, since I've been seeing complaints that there's not a lot of traffic on the Health board, maybe it would increase traffic?
Again, I'm only speaking for myself. It sounds as though a lot of people are asking what would feel safe on an eating disorders board, and I'm offering my view of what would feel safe for me.
And I'm going to go back into my cave now, because I feel safer there.
Posted by muffled on August 23, 2007, at 14:15:05
In reply to Speaking only for myself..., posted by Racer on August 23, 2007, at 13:35:20
> What I would be looking for is a place to discuss the feelings involved, how to be motivated towards recovery, As such, a board about dieting and cheering people on for losing weight, etc, wouldn't be a safe place for me**Exacly, that was well expressed Racer. This is the feeling that I have been having. Knowing my sisters struggles this is what I feel too. That is why I was trying to get a discussion going re: the naming of the boards, so it could be made very clear as to their function. I think if we DON'T do this, there will continue to be feelings hurt. Its just so sensitive to people, its hard to discuss calmly, which is why I thot mebbe i could help facilitate as its not a huge issue for me, but I do have some understanding...
When it comes down to it, 'eating' really is a poor name for a board for those with ED, as its not really about food per se. This is of course only MHO. I may be way off base.> Does that mean I think only someone with a doctor's form showing a dx of one of the eating disorders should be allowed to post on the Eating board? No. It does mean, though, that I think the talk about eating, diets, meal plans, etc, would be better on the Health board. For one thing, since I've been seeing complaints that there's not a lot of traffic on the Health board, maybe it would increase traffic?
I dunno. But I agree with Racer, the two just do not mix, and if there's not to be further misunderstandings, then it needs to be made clear in the descriptor of the board....mebbe someone could work on a name and descriptor to lay on Bob when he returns?
> Again, I'm only speaking for myself. It sounds as though a lot of people are asking what would feel safe on an eating disorders board, and I'm offering my view of what would feel safe for me.**Thanks for that Racer, I know your hurting. But I too would like to see this sorted out so that ED people would have a place to go where they would not have to be regularly triggered. ( thru no fault of anyone, just ED is a tough one for triggers, and for feeling perpetually misunderstood IMHO).
AND that there would be a place for people like me, who want to get a handle on our weight, but its not a full blown ED thing.>
> And I'm going to go back into my cave now, because I feel safer there.**Sorry Racer. It'll be OK. Sorry you feel hurt, but I'm sure there was no mal intent on anyones part, just us people being human, and sometimes missing the boat on stuff. I know your in a hard place, and I hope you can feel safe enuf to come and let us babblers try and share your burden some when your ready.
Take special care,
And I hope this discussion can proceed w/o too much hurt, and that maybe we can make babble an even better place, for ALL.
M
Posted by Poet on August 23, 2007, at 20:02:34
In reply to Speaking only for myself..., posted by Racer on August 23, 2007, at 13:35:20
I'm with Racer. I think diet and weight loss goals really should be on the health board.
I also agree that you don't need to have an official eating order DX to post on the Eating board. If that were the case I couldn't post on it, and I have an eating disorder it's just not in my official DX.
Poet
Posted by JLx on August 24, 2007, at 12:00:17
In reply to Redirect a thread and the 'Eating Forum', posted by Maxime on August 19, 2007, at 20:32:21
The Eating board header says:
"This is a message board for mutual support and education. It focuses on eating disorders and issues with food. I think it would make sense, however, if dieting and nutrition were discussed at Health instead."
I found the suggestion that the board encompass different perspectives similar to the Substance Abuse board an interesting one because I don't currently feel welcome at Eating with my "issues with food" -- as an actual fat person. I suspect it's unworkable, however, because while you could conceivably lump disordered eating into a common category, the psychology between people who are actually obese, or have been, from people who perceive they are when they are not, or who abhor/fear fat so much that they will do drastic things to avoid it, appears to me to be quite different.
For instance, someone who is not actually fat, i.e. objectively overweight, saying "I'm so fat, I hate this fat, I hate myself" is not something I, as an actual fat person, can appropriately respond to when the fat is not real -- as it is for me. And it can be hard to listen to people talk about the horrors of fat, the terrible meaning of fat ("lazy, a loser, pathetic, ineffectual, self-indulgent, out of control, slovenly") when your actual state is one of being fat. I felt moved to respond in that thread, but my post was obviously out of synch with the others. Which is not to say that I took any of it personally; I recognized the fat hatred as a form of self-hatred. But, otoh, fat hatred and a characterization like that is not just something subjective and SELF-punishing (it can be) but is also something real that we actual fat people get from OUTSIDE ourselves, manifesting itself in job discrimination and so forth. A different perspective, no?
When I was in Overeaters Anonymous some years ago, it was emphasized that anyone who had an "obsession with food", including anorexics and bulimics, was welcome and in my small town home meeting we had a regular who was bulimic. This worked because a 12-step program is primarily a spiritual program and all the program guidelines keep discussion and support focused in a certain way. Talk of diets or weight loss goals was frowned upon, for instance, as we were there to recover from obsession with such things. 12-step programs emphasize honesty and our bulimic member said one time that she was "living a lie" because she was as compulsive about food and ate as much as those of us who were fat, but she didn't have the consequences we had. No one knew she ate like that as the overeating didn't manifest so she received approval from society for the state of her body. She felt that that made it harder for her, because she craved that approval and felt recovery meant being willing to possibly give that up, which she found very difficult to imagine. I found that a fascinating insight that increased my compassion and understanding and I offer it here as an example of how a discussion from different perspectives may do that.
Just as when I read the Eating board I am frequently moved by the sheer level of self-hatred evidenced by those who post there with "fat" being something of a code word (as I perceive it). Yet I don't feel I have anything to offer to this discussion. It's hard to be actually fat and not hate your fat, and yourself most of the time, yet I know from very hard experience that self-hatred is no motivator for anything but depression, more self-hatred and further dysfunctional eating. So I never talk about being fat and urge myself (as I would suggest to others) to accept myself as I am; accept the fat. Only then can I approximate some peace of mind and potentially move on, which may or may not involve weight loss efforts.
I would like a board where I might talk about such things as fat acceptance, either personal or the burgeoning movement. Where I might want to talk about defining oneself as a food addict or a compulsive overeater - accepting reality or a self-defining, self-fulfilling prophesy? About obesity research, about metabolic syndrome. About fat stigma and discrimination. About "obesity epidemic" media hysteria. About a book such as "Rethinking Thin". And yes, where I might also talk about "issues with food" itself -- the whys and wherefores, the hows, whats, and whys of eating, healthy or not.
I understand and accept that the Eating board is not that board. I would like to post to such a board, however, rather than discussing "fat stigma" on the Social board, nutrition for weight issues on the Health Board, self-acceptance about fat on the Self-Esteem Board, food addiction on the Substance Abuse board, etc, because I'd like to talk to my fellow sufferers and interested parties, not just any and everybody within a more general topic.
I'm not necessarily lobbying for the type of Eating board I'd like to post to, as this may not be the place for it, but given this discussion, these are my thoughts as someone who regularly reads but does not post to the Eating Board -- where I have felt like someone, nose pressed to the glass looking in thinking, this is my issue, but where are my people?
JL
Posted by muffled on August 24, 2007, at 12:16:47
In reply to Re: Redirect a thread and the 'Eating Forum' » Maxime, posted by JLx on August 24, 2007, at 12:00:17
-- where I have felt like someone, nose pressed to the glass looking in thinking, this is my issue, but where are my people?
**JL, that hurt my heart.
I think partly what babble is about is acceptance, and support.And I SO do NOT beleive you are alone. There are plenty of 'lurkers' here, who in my mind, are a part of babble too, and they read and learn too.
I hope we can somehow figger out this prob, so that you can have a place too.
Thanks for pitching in your ideas, and thanks for sharing yourself and your good thots too.
Goto go.
M
Posted by gardenergirl on August 24, 2007, at 12:34:18
In reply to Re: Redirect a thread and the 'Eating Forum' » Maxime, posted by JLx on August 24, 2007, at 12:00:17
Posted by seldomseen on August 24, 2007, at 12:44:01
In reply to stands up and applauds (nm) » JLx, posted by gardenergirl on August 24, 2007, at 12:34:18
Posted by ClearSkies on August 24, 2007, at 12:48:17
In reply to Re: Redirect a thread and the 'Eating Forum' » Maxime, posted by JLx on August 24, 2007, at 12:00:17
I think that utilizing the Health, Substance and Self Esteem boards as you outlined is a great way forward.
I'm partial to the Self Esteem board because I see my fatness as tied so totally to my self image and inability to accept my present weight as what it is.
I am right behind you, JLx.
ClearSkies
Posted by Racer on August 24, 2007, at 23:07:50
In reply to Re: Redirect a thread and the 'Eating Forum' » Maxime, posted by JLx on August 24, 2007, at 12:00:17
> About a book such as "Rethinking Thin".
That was a moving post. And I started a post on the Books board about "Rethinking Thin," some time back with very little response. Here's a link: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/books/20061001/msgs/765552.html
Those were my words you quoted in your post. I'm very sorry that you were hurt by it. My purpose was to try to analyze why I was so uncomfortable with gaining weight, what did gaining weight mean to me, that would make me fear and dread it so much, and hate so much living in this body? Maybe a thread about where I learned this would be more helpful to me, maybe not, but I suspect that still won't be what you need.
I'm sorry now that I lobbied for an Eating Disorders board in the first place. It seems as though it's led to more bad feelings than anything helpful to anyone here.
Posted by JLx on August 25, 2007, at 7:01:05
In reply to Re: Redirect a thread and the 'Eating Forum' » JLx, posted by muffled on August 24, 2007, at 12:16:47
Let's not be too concerned about my tender feelings...it's my choice to click on the board after all! Or not.
I've also thought of e-mailing Dr. Bob previously but didn't do it.
I posted now because the discussion was already started. And because I've got a lot on my mind re "all things fat" and have been looking for a place to post about it. I understand that PB doesn't owe me that place, however.
JL
> -- where I have felt like someone, nose pressed to the glass looking in thinking, this is my issue, but where are my people?
>
> **JL, that hurt my heart.
> I think partly what babble is about is acceptance, and support.And I SO do NOT beleive you are alone. There are plenty of 'lurkers' here, who in my mind, are a part of babble too, and they read and learn too.
> I hope we can somehow figger out this prob, so that you can have a place too.
> Thanks for pitching in your ideas, and thanks for sharing yourself and your good thots too.
> Goto go.
> M
Posted by JLx on August 25, 2007, at 7:07:04
In reply to Brava!! » JLx, posted by ClearSkies on August 24, 2007, at 12:48:17
Thanks for the cheer, and to seldomseen and gardenergirl too.
> I think that utilizing the Health, Substance and Self Esteem boards as you outlined is a great way forward.
Hmm...maybe, but my feeling was just the opposite -- too scattered.
> I'm partial to the Self Esteem board because I see my fatness as tied so totally to my self image and inability to accept my present weight as what it is.
>
> I am right behind you, JLx.
>
> ClearSkiesPerhaps we should start a thread called Fat! on all boards. Maybe other people will get so sick of the topic, they'll give us a whole new board. ;)
JL
Posted by JLx on August 25, 2007, at 8:06:43
In reply to Re: Redirect a thread and the 'Eating Forum' » JLx, posted by Racer on August 24, 2007, at 23:07:50
> > About a book such as "Rethinking Thin".
>
> That was a moving post. And I started a post on the Books board about "Rethinking Thin," some time back with very little response. Here's a link: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/books/20061001/msgs/765552.htmlSorry, I didn't notice it, which is kind of my point.
> Those were my words you quoted in your post. I'm very sorry that you were hurt by it.
I noted already that I didn't take it personally.
>My purpose was to try to analyze why I was so uncomfortable with gaining weight, what did gaining weight mean to me, that would make me fear and dread it so much, and hate so much living in this body? Maybe a thread about where I learned this would be more helpful to me, maybe not, but I suspect that still won't be what you need.
I understood that. My point in mentioning it was in how language and a difference in perspective can be within the context of people having "issues with food".
> I'm sorry now that I lobbied for an Eating Disorders board in the first place. It seems as though it's led to more bad feelings than anything helpful to anyone here.
I'm responsible for my own feelings! :) As I've noted above, it's my choice to click on the board or not.
Perhaps the board should just be renamed to "Eating Disorders" with a differently worded explanation than the current verbiage "issues with food".
People who have been through treatment and some therapists/websites too may refer to compulsive overeating as an eating disorder but most people think "Anorexia and bulimia" when they hear "Eating Disorder". And while the underlying causes, child sex abuse for instance, may be similar in all, the manifestations are so different, how common of a language can we have? Especially since recovery is necessarily less concerned with the past than the here and now. Compulsive overeaters and binge eating disorder sufferers who have become fat are always going to have to be concerned about food in terms of restriction and probably weight loss too, for instance, and are apt to use language and need to talk in ways that may be problematical to those with different eating disorder concerns. Reading the current board has convinced me of that.
None of the current boards have subsets, but I think a breakdown of Eating Disorders into "Anorexia/Bulimia" and "Compulsive overeating/Binge eating" would be the most workable. An alternative might be to ask people to designate their own threads more explicitly when they start them. An "I feel so fat" (Compulsive overeater) and "I feel so fat" (Anorexic), for instance. That seems cumbersome and I'm not entirely sure how healthy it is to define oneself in such categories, however.
We're doing that already though in having an Eating board. And I think such a board is a good idea. There are people who simply want to lose some pounds or who want to just improve their diet for various health reasons and then there are people who have serious issues concerning and surrounding food. Being one of the latter talking to people who are the former can be a very alienating-type experience. There's such comfort and other benefits to be gained from flocking together with your own kind of bird, not just anything-that-flies.
JL
Posted by ClearSkies on August 25, 2007, at 9:28:24
In reply to Re: Brava!! » ClearSkies, posted by JLx on August 25, 2007, at 7:07:04
> Thanks for the cheer, and to seldomseen and gardenergirl too.
>
> > I think that utilizing the Health, Substance and Self Esteem boards as you outlined is a great way forward.
>
> Hmm...maybe, but my feeling was just the opposite -- too scattered.
>
> > I'm partial to the Self Esteem board because I see my fatness as tied so totally to my self image and inability to accept my present weight as what it is.
> >
> > I am right behind you, JLx.
> >
> > ClearSkies
>
> Perhaps we should start a thread called Fat! on all boards. Maybe other people will get so sick of the topic, they'll give us a whole new board. ;)
>
> JLThe other way to look at this might be that Eating is such a broad topic that it can be covered on multiple boards, such as Health, Self Esteem, and possibly Substance.
cs
Posted by muffled on August 25, 2007, at 23:25:54
In reply to Re: Redirect a thread and the 'Eating Forum' » JLx, posted by Racer on August 24, 2007, at 23:07:50
>I'm sorry now that I lobbied for an Eating Disorders board in the first place. It seems as though it's led to more bad feelings than anything helpful to anyone here.
**Hmmm, to me this is just an indication that there are strong feelings around this topic.....and all the *more* reason for there to be a resolution that could hopefully provide somewhere for all to 'be' with others of like mind...
This place is supposed to be about support, if people have strong feelings, then they proly could use some support. It just may be a tough process to define this, but I wonder if the longer term gain for many others potentially in the future might make it possible to go thru this possibly painful process? Maybe not. I can't say.
I'm sure its not for all to be able to do such things.
I tend to be a runner.
Anyhow, IMHO, as CS says there seem to be plenty of boards, maybe its more a matter of comming up with definitions, so its more clear to those in future what the intent of those boards are? A fairly clear one?
Ahhh, mebbe I'm all wet.
And should shut up.
Just this topic is near and dear to someone near and dear to me...
Sigh, best wishes you guys.
M
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Administration | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.