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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 12 to 36 of 36. Go back in thread:
Posted by zenhussy on June 15, 2007, at 9:16:47
In reply to Re: Policy, Safety and You » Granger, posted by Dory on June 15, 2007, at 8:06:29
Posted by dispatcher on June 15, 2007, at 12:14:49
In reply to *kool aid trig--Jonestown mass suicide in Guyana? (nm), posted by zenhussy on June 15, 2007, at 9:16:47
From PBS -
Jim Jones carefully revealed only as much of himself as he needed to to any given audience -- the inner circle of Peoples Temple, his larger congregation, local politicians, or his various female companions. Much of the time he hid behind his sunglasses and let others project their hopes and fears through him.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/jonestown/gallery/index.html
Posted by Dory on June 15, 2007, at 16:43:51
In reply to Re: *kool aid trig--, posted by dispatcher on June 15, 2007, at 12:14:49
wow. this was cooler than i thought. all i meant was do what you are told, and yes as in Jtown. But it was not meant as a reference to the end result per se, just to the directive and thoughtless following of said directive.
i really like yours better dispatcher.
Posted by muffled on June 16, 2007, at 18:32:50
In reply to Re: Policy, Safety and You » Dory, posted by Granger on June 14, 2007, at 20:27:58
> I am sorry you have not received a response. There seems to be a trend of nonresponses.
>
> From FAQ:
>
> "If someone else has posted information that identifies or private communications from you and you object, or if you did so yourself and have changed your mind, please contact me."
>
> Wonder what that statement means? It is vague and doesn't address what action could be taken by Dr. Bob. I would "assume" (generally dangerous to assume but here goes ---) that some level of attention and prehaps even compassion would be given when that occurs and the infomation would be removed.**But it won't be :-(
Sucks all right :-(
M
Posted by Granger on June 16, 2007, at 19:26:05
In reply to Re: Policy, Safety and You » Granger, posted by muffled on June 16, 2007, at 18:32:50
> **But it won't be :-(
> Sucks all right :-(
> M
Yep, sure does.
Posted by Granger on June 17, 2007, at 6:49:25
In reply to Re: Policy, Safety and You » Granger, posted by muffled on June 16, 2007, at 18:32:50
One of the issues I have long thought was problematic was/is the lack of governing much on content, which is different from govening on presentation.
While not exactly related to allowing personal info to remain even after a request to have it removed for privacy and safety reasons - there appears to me to be more attention to how something is put forth than what is being posted.
Posted by muffled on June 17, 2007, at 10:04:45
In reply to Re: Policy, Safety and You » muffled, posted by Granger on June 17, 2007, at 6:49:25
Sigh. Yet another good point.
Some stuff contentwise is hard. Thats where triggers are important, then you can be prepared somehow.
Generally it seems babblers for the most part self restrict on content. But sometimes there's screwups.
My issue is with admins utter inflexibility. Bob seems to be willing to be more lenient (esp since he's not been around anyways), but he never wants to delete a post. I think there have been times when IMHO a post should have been deleted and he just WON'T.
There also has been some blocks that are a bit questionable, but again, in the past Bob has been unwilling to change them.
Its the inflexibility that gets to me.
As for content, I honestly don't understand those "veiled" type threads where the content is allowed cuz apparently flies below the civility radar, but apparently is still hurtful and downright nasty. Appaerently there's ways to do this, and its gotten to me before. Its hard with just words to know whether a person is being sarcastic etc.
I am learning to just stay away from those threads as best I can.
I honestly dunno wassup w/babble, I really don't.
Bob exists, but I dunno wassup w/him either?
Take care, try and not get too caught up in admin, it'll chew you up and spit you out.
Muffled
Posted by Granger on June 17, 2007, at 21:51:18
In reply to Re: Policy, Safety and You » Granger, posted by muffled on June 17, 2007, at 10:04:45
> Take care, try and not get too caught up in admin, it'll chew you up and spit you out.
> MuffledHey M,
Yes, in the past, I had spent much time fretting and jaw tightening over Adm. issues here but I *try* to no longer allow them to get to me. It felt like an exercise in futility. Now, I just occassionally feel the need to mouth off just to see it in a post. :) I do like seeing like minded sensibilities - that does my heart good.
I have been fortunate to discover, babble, for the most part : }, is composed of good folk trying to have a place.
You take care of you too, M
Granger
Posted by muffled on June 17, 2007, at 23:04:23
In reply to Re: Policy, Safety and You » muffled, posted by Granger on June 17, 2007, at 21:51:18
Posted by AuntieMel on June 18, 2007, at 8:55:20
In reply to Re: Policy, Safety and You » Granger, posted by muffled on June 16, 2007, at 18:32:50
If a person posts personal information and needs it removed they should report it.
If it is *inside* a post then the deputies can xxx it out.
If the personal information is a person's name then only Dr. Bob has the power to change it.
He will, though. I have seen it.
Posted by dispatcher on June 18, 2007, at 9:14:35
In reply to Re: *kool aid trig--, posted by Dory on June 15, 2007, at 16:43:51
Some may apply or all - regarding cults that is...
"Do you know someone in a destructive cult?
Warning signs!
Anyone could attack a group they disagree with by unfairly labeling it a destructive cult. How would you know whether it really were such a cult or not? Isn't there an objective method to evaluate groups for cultic tendencies? Yes. The following early warning signs can help you reasonably determine whether or not a group is likely to be a destructive cult, and if you should be concerned about a friend, coworker, or loved one being involved with it.
The main reason that the following destructive cult tactics are so damaging to both the individual and society is because they debilitate rationality and reduce empathy. Rationality and empathy are indispensable in making good personal and social decisions. History is littered with personal and social catastrophes where a lack of rationality and lack of empathy were its core causes.
Ask yourself if the following criteria apply to the group you are concerned about.
A destructive cult tends to be totalitarian in its control of its members' behavior.
Cults are likely to dictate in great detail not only what members believe, but also what members wear and eat, when and where members work, sleep, and bathe, and how members think, speak, and conduct familial, marital, or sexual relationships.A destructive cult tends to have an ethical double standard.
Members are urged to be obedient to the cult, to carefully follow cult rules. They are also encouraged to be revealing and open in the group, confessing all to the leaders. On the other hand, outside the group they are encouraged to act unethically, manipulating outsiders or nonmembers, and either deceiving them or simply revealing very little about themselves or the group. In contrast to destructive cults, honorable groups teach members to abide by one set of ethics and act ethically and truthfully to all people in all situations.A destructive cult has only two basic purposes: recruiting new members and fund-raising. Altruistic movements, established religions, and other honorable groups also recruit and raise funds. However, these actions are incidental to an honorable group's main purpose of improving the lives of its members and of humankind in general. Destructive cults may claim to make social contributions, but in actuality such claims are superficial and only serve as gestures or fronts for recruiting and fund-raising. A cult's real goal is to increase the prestige and often the wealth of the leader.
A destructive cult appears to be innovative and exclusive.
The leader claims to be breaking with tradition, offering something novel, and instituting the ONLY viable system for change that will solve life's problems or the world's ills. But these claims are empty and only used to recruit members who are then surreptitiously subjected to mind control to inhibit their ability to examine the actual validity of the claims of the leader and the cult.A destructive cult is authoritarian in its power structure.
The leader is regarded as the supreme authority. He or she may delegate certain power to a few subordinates for the purpose of seeing that members adhere to the leader's wishes. There is no appeal outside his or her system to a greater system of justice. For example, if a schoolteacher feels unjustly treated by a principal, an appeal can be made to the superintendent. In a destructive cult, the leader claims to have the only and final ruling on all matters.A destructive cult's leader is a self-appointed messianic person claiming to have a special mission in life.
For example, leaders of flying saucer cults claim that beings from outer space have commissioned them to lead people away from Earth, so that only the leaders can save them from impending doom.A destructive cult's leader centers the veneration of members upon himself or herself. Priests, rabbis, ministers, democratic leaders, and other leaders of genuinely altruistic movements focus the veneration of adherents on God or a set of ethical principles. Cult leaders, in contrast, keep the focus of love, devotion, and allegiance on themselves.
A destructive cult's leader tends to be determined, domineering, and charismatic.
Such a leader effectively persuades followers to abandon or alter their families, friends, and careers to follow the cult. The leader then takes control over followers' possessions, money, time, and lives."
Posted by Phillipa on June 18, 2007, at 19:34:07
In reply to Re: Reporting personal information » muffled, posted by AuntieMel on June 18, 2007, at 8:55:20
True once I posted my e-mail address publicly and e-mailed Dr. Bob to remove it and he did. It was very foolish to post it as there are so many not nice people on the internet. Love Phillipa
Posted by 10derHeart on June 18, 2007, at 21:08:22
In reply to Re: Reporting personal information » muffled, posted by AuntieMel on June 18, 2007, at 8:55:20
Right, and true, but there are other types of information that people later regret posting. Not seemingly so specific as name, address, etc., but to *them*...maybe too revealing if the wrong person/people read them and pieced together things? Even the remote possibility might be scary?
I'm guessing that might be the kind of information Dory posted here about.
And then, even if Dr. Bob is willing, I can envision total disagreement between the 2 parties of what is and isn't 'personal', you know?
-10der, posting as a poster
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 19, 2007, at 3:53:22
In reply to Re: Policy, Safety and You » Granger, posted by Dory on June 15, 2007, at 8:06:29
> Apparently, one is supposed to accept that's the way it is.
>
> Just drink the Kool aid.I'm sorry we haven't been able to reach a middle ground, but please don't be sarcastic, post anything that could lead others (such as me) to feel accused, or exaggerate.
But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by muffled on June 19, 2007, at 14:45:17
In reply to Re: please be civil » Dory, posted by Dr. Bob on June 19, 2007, at 3:53:22
> > Apparently, one is supposed to accept that's the way it is.
> >
> > Just drink the Kool aid.
>
> I'm sorry we haven't been able to reach a middle ground, but please don't be sarcastic, post anything that could lead others (such as me) to feel accused, or exaggerate.
>
> But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.
>
> If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce
>
> Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Bob**OK I had to go back up the thread to see WTF is wrong w/coolaide :-( Sad :-(
I guess dory was just expressing her frustration, but needs to learn to do it the 'babble' way....
So, I guess a better way to say it would have been???
EG:
I feel like there's no recourse for me.
I feel like I wasn't heard or understood in my seriousness of my situation.
I feel very frustrated that there was not any solution that made sense to me, to my problem.
I feel angry and upset.Is that what she should have said?
Or just say nothing at all?
Or re-post to administrators/deputies?
Emotions suck big time, but they pass, and the hurt and fear will ease. But it sucks, damn it sucks.
M
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 20, 2007, at 1:39:40
In reply to Re: please be civil......so....???, posted by muffled on June 19, 2007, at 14:45:17
> I guess dory was just expressing her frustration, but needs to learn to do it the 'babble' way....
> So, I guess a better way to say it would have been???
> EG:
> I feel like there's no recourse for me.
> I feel like I wasn't heard or understood in my seriousness of my situation.
> I feel very frustrated that there was not any solution that made sense to me, to my problem.
> I feel angry and upset.
>
> Is that what she should have said?Those are all excellent I-statements, thanks for helping to explain "the Babble way". :-)
Bob
Posted by Happyflower on June 26, 2007, at 23:07:21
In reply to Re: please be civil » Dory, posted by Dr. Bob on June 19, 2007, at 3:53:22
We were told it was more accepted to be uncivil torward you. example...
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/babble.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/babble.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/babble.htmlIs this the case or are the interpertaions of the rule wrong?
Posted by muffled on June 26, 2007, at 23:18:05
In reply to Dr. Bob we were told not to long ago by deputies. » Dr. Bob, posted by Happyflower on June 26, 2007, at 23:07:21
LOL! HF what are you linking to or is it just me! I just get framed thingy???
Anyhow, I kinda tired, but SOMEwhere there was a thread where it was discussed that Bob was not going to allow incivility towards himself and deputies anymore. I think it is much better that way.
If I weren't so darn lazy I would find them for you, but honestly I don't have a clue where to look? I just remember it being discussed.
Dunno how helpful I've been here...
Anyhow, hope you doing OK.
Hope your doing OK w/T.
Wish I could take your hurts away :-(
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by Happyflower on June 26, 2007, at 23:32:03
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob we were told not to long ago by deputies. » Happyflower, posted by muffled on June 26, 2007, at 23:18:05
poster:gardenergirl thread:756918
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20070423/msgs/757401.htmlposter:Racer thread:756918
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20070423/msgs/757195.htmlposter:Dinah thread:756918
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20070423/msgs/757197.htmlOkay these should work.
Posted by Happyflower on June 26, 2007, at 23:58:33
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob we were told not to long ago by deputies. » Happyflower, posted by muffled on June 26, 2007, at 23:18:05
Hi Muffy,
I just wanted to add thanks for thinking of me, but really I am okay. I am sorry it is bothering you to see all this going on.
Nothing anyone has said to me that might have upsetted you, has not effected me at all. I consider it practice for when I am a T. I will have to deal with all those projections, right, so I might as well take it strong and use it as practice for the real thing.
But honestly, I am quite removed emotionally from the whole thing. I am not effected by any of it. It isn't real anyways, not to me anyways, at least with anyone who matters to me, but I will stick up for myself. It is just words on the screen. I save my real concerns and emotions for the people who really count in my life for example, my kids, friends(some online), and some close relatives. Now that is real life, that is what I am invested in.
Posted by Happyflower on June 27, 2007, at 8:44:55
In reply to Dr. Bob we were told not to long ago by deputies. » Dr. Bob, posted by Happyflower on June 26, 2007, at 23:07:21
Well I was just informed that this is uncivil to post links to verify a rule on Babble.
I am sorry, I really didnt' know I was doing anything wrong.
Posted by muffled on June 27, 2007, at 9:13:03
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob we were told not to long ago by deputies., posted by Happyflower on June 27, 2007, at 8:44:55
Hmmmm, dang , wish I knew how to find the posts....I just remember thinking 'oh, good, Bob finally gonna stand up for hisself and his deps...'
The link to posts thing...I didn't know that either. I thot if it was a genuine question it would be OK? But maybe cuz its about a troublesome thread , then that is why its not OK?
Dunno.
Glad you not affected by turmoil on admin HF. However I would caution you on one thing that Bob told me once, and thats that, all we express on babble can and will be read by others, and DOES affect them. Him telling me that has helped me to reighn myself in more when I start to get all wound up. Cuz there is a wide range of issues here as you well know. And this is a place of support and hopefully a safe one. So I really try to keep that in consideration when I post.
Babblers are all real people. Behind the words there are hands typing the words, a brain forming the thots, and a person with feelings and wishes and hopes behind that brain. So I try really hard to be kind. Cuz we all been hurt too much.
Take it easy HF. You come across as so tough, but I suspect your little one inside is still hurting :-(
(((((HF little one inside))))and ((((HF))))
Muffled
Posted by Happyflower on June 27, 2007, at 11:37:02
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob we were told not to long ago by deputies. » Happyflower, posted by muffled on June 27, 2007, at 9:13:03
Thanks Muffy,
I guess what I meant behind the just words things is when I am feeling attacked, I will defend myself, but all and all what is said to me, really doesn't matter to me myself as a person, pbecause I know better about myself and I know when someone doesn't have my best interest at heart.
Remember I have lived being berated down, but I knew what was being said to me wasn't true, I knew in my heart. For me this is the same. That self esteem saved my life. What if I belived everything people have said to me who were trying to hurt me? Yeah, I would probably have not want to be alive. But that isn't me, I know I am a good person, no matter what others may say. I think everyone who really knows me would agree I have a huge heart and am a good person.
So it really doesn't offend me because anyone who really knows me , wouldn't try to hurt me over and over again. But I can only feel hurt if I allow it to happen,or if that person means something to me personally. Well that is where I meant words are only words. And I truely only feel hurt if it was somone important to me who means something to me. I have felt hurt sometimes, but that is when I mistakenly believed they were my friends, but I am learning who my real friends are, and will make mistakes along the way. I do care about some people on babble, some I consider friends, and they can probably have the potential to hurt me. But as far as those who are not my friends, it really doesn't have an effect on me. But I do expect rules of civility should be followed even towards me, so I will speak up, and I have learned to do it the "babble way". But that is just my experience.
Being a T, you have to have a thick skin, because you will get projections of all kinds toward you, and you have to stay strong and uneffected in order to help them. Can't take it personal or get offended.
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 29, 2007, at 0:58:56
In reply to Dr. Bob we were told not to long ago by deputies. » Dr. Bob, posted by Happyflower on June 26, 2007, at 23:07:21
> We were told it was more accepted to be uncivil torward you.
It's accepted more often, but not always.
Bob
Posted by NikkiT2 on June 29, 2007, at 5:05:35
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob we were told not to long ago by deputies. » muffled, posted by Happyflower on June 27, 2007, at 11:37:02
"Being a T, you have to have a thick skin, because you will get projections of all kinds toward you, and you have to stay strong and uneffected in order to help them. Can't take it personal or get offended."
Thats not true at all.. All the T's I know (and there are many, as I work in mental health) are perfectly human and have all those feelings. But, they take them to professional supervision and discuss them, and work them out. I owuld much rather receve therapy from somene who feels all the range or normal emotions, than one who has decided to feel nothing.
This is the end of the thread.
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