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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 7 to 31 of 110. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dinah on December 31, 2006, at 12:15:32
In reply to what's the big deal?, posted by karen_kay on December 31, 2006, at 10:07:38
To me the issue is that if someone wants to change their name, that's fine. But if they change their name and then act familiar with the board, and or posters, I feel at a disadvantage. They know me, I don't know them. It makes me feel uneasy.
It's like if you were at a school party and someone came up in a mask and voice changer, and started talking to you as if they knew you.
It's no huge deal to me. I can handle my discomfort in various ways. And I understand valid reasons for doing it. But it is a big deal to me. Not a huge deal, perhaps, but a big deal.
I guess it's a bigger deal for people who feel like they know others here on Babble. If you keep in mind it's all anonymous and you don't know who anyone is, it might be easier. But if you feel like you at least know an aspect of a person as a friend or peer, it makes me, at least, feel uncomfortable.
Posted by ClearSkies on December 31, 2006, at 16:54:56
In reply to Re: what's the big deal?, posted by Dinah on December 31, 2006, at 12:15:32
> To me the issue is that if someone wants to change their name, that's fine. But if they change their name and then act familiar with the board, and or posters, I feel at a disadvantage. They know me, I don't know them. It makes me feel uneasy.
>
> It's like if you were at a school party and someone came up in a mask and voice changer, and started talking to you as if they knew you.
>
> It's no huge deal to me. I can handle my discomfort in various ways. And I understand valid reasons for doing it. But it is a big deal to me. Not a huge deal, perhaps, but a big deal.
>
> I guess it's a bigger deal for people who feel like they know others here on Babble. If you keep in mind it's all anonymous and you don't know who anyone is, it might be easier. But if you feel like you at least know an aspect of a person as a friend or peer, it makes me, at least, feel uncomfortable.Exactly my feelings, too.
ClearSkies
Posted by Phillipa on December 31, 2006, at 19:20:30
In reply to Re: what's the big deal? » Dinah, posted by ClearSkies on December 31, 2006, at 16:54:56
Dinah very well put that's about what I meant. LovePhillipa
Posted by sunnydays on December 31, 2006, at 21:01:42
In reply to Re: what's the big deal?, posted by Dinah on December 31, 2006, at 12:15:32
See, I'm conflicted. On the one hand, I think people should be able to change their names whenever they want - there are plenty of good reasons. On the other hand, I agree with Dinah that it can feel uncomfortable if you feel like you used to know them, but can't place them or something. So I guess I don't have an opinion, because I can't make up my mind!
sunnydays
Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 31, 2006, at 21:52:40
In reply to what's the big deal?, posted by karen_kay on December 31, 2006, at 10:07:38
How many times a year would be emough to get in of they feel out....160? I find I can live with it ..I didn't see anyone say it was a big deal with the expection of your post. I may have missed the big deal post however. I feel one could abuse the DNP rules. I also wonder what if a poster changed their name 10 times in a year but didn't work to change what makes them feel left out or whatever...then what has that name change accomplish. I am all for say 2 times a year but much more than that seems excessive.
This is of course just based on my feelings.
> why do people get upset about name changes anyway? why does it make posters here so uncomfortable seeing someone used to post under a different name? doesn't that kinda give a poster who may feel 'outed' a chance to start over? is that really such a bad thing?
Posted by karen_kay on January 1, 2007, at 10:03:07
In reply to Re: what's the big deal?, posted by Fallen4MyT on December 31, 2006, at 21:52:40
well, i did have a long, important post but somehow i hit a button and it was gone. i'll try again.....
i'm assuming most of us here have psoted something we later regretted (be it personal info about ourselves or just posting something we wish we hadn't.). with this medium, all we have attached to us is our name and those words we write. why not be able to start anew after putting things here that we regret (be it drunk posting, misunderstandings, ect.)?
this particular subject is something that comes up time after time (so i would guess it is kinda a big deal in babble land. perhaps i could be wrong, but this subject comes up quite often. i could be being overly dramatic and perhaps no one thinks it a big deal. either way, if my wording somehow offended you, then you need to deal with that. it's not anything i was saying to be offensive, but perhaps you took it that way? i honestly feel as if you are somewhat upset with me. am i wrong?)
so, if someone feels outed, does it really matter too much what they did to feel that way anyway? i mean, isn't the point of this place to be supportive? and sometimes that can seem impossible if someone feels ignored. why not give them a chance to start over again, without also adding the burden of thinking that it's their fault.
Posted by karen_kay on January 1, 2007, at 10:09:27
In reply to Re: what's the big deal?, posted by Dinah on December 31, 2006, at 12:15:32
i can understand your point dinah. it does seem like a disadvantage for someone to know you, but you haven't a clue who they are, regardless of prior conversations.
in my opinion, i know certain people here. and if they changed their names, i'd still like to think i'd be able to recognize them. there are people her ewho i'm not at all familiar with. and if they changed their name, i wouldn't have a clue. so, i guess i don't get upset (not that you do either, but it has no affect on me) especially since i don't know them anyway.
i hope you don't think i'm being insensitive about this matter. i do respect your point of view and i can't say i don't agree with it either. but, i jsut feel if someone changes their name they have a good reason for doing so. and i can respect that.
take care dinah dear and i hope your family is doing well!
Posted by Dinah on January 1, 2007, at 10:24:44
In reply to Re: what's the big deal? » Dinah, posted by karen_kay on January 1, 2007, at 10:09:27
I will agree with you that when I don't know someone here, it doesn't affect me if they change their names.
And while I'd like to think I can recognize someone I like to think I know, I can't always.
I do understand the valid reasons behind changing names. But that doesn't stop me from feeling hurt that people I thought I knew don't wish me to know them. Or uneasy about just who it is that I'm talking to so familiarly.
I'm not saying the rule should be changed. I don't really think it should be.
I hope you're having a happy new year with your little guy. :)
Posted by karen_kay on January 1, 2007, at 10:46:37
In reply to Re: what's the big deal? » karen_kay, posted by Dinah on January 1, 2007, at 10:24:44
that is understandable. and i promise you that if i ever change my name, i'll send you an email letting you know. but, i don't see that happening any time soon. i'm rather attached to my name (i have been going by it for over a quarter century. yikes, that makes me feel old!)
take care sweetie! (and i am having a fantastic day with him. in fact, he'll be able to eat part of traditional dinner tonight!)
Posted by Dinah on January 1, 2007, at 10:48:10
In reply to Re: what's the big deal? » Dinah, posted by karen_kay on January 1, 2007, at 10:46:37
Posted by GGGabbi on January 1, 2007, at 18:38:31
In reply to Re: what's the big deal? » Fallen4MyT, posted by karen_kay on January 1, 2007, at 10:03:07
I can see why it would be disconcerting, but I don't think it's worth making another rule about.
If someone is doing it with the motive to upset people then they'll just find another way.
I think people are entitled to a fresh start, or two, or three.
It's just one of those things.Also, because of the contrast I admire those who have been around and chosen hang onto their names no matter how many times they think they've made a "flaming @ss" of themselves :)
Posted by Dinah on January 1, 2007, at 19:02:12
In reply to Re: what's the big deal? » karen_kay, posted by GGGabbi on January 1, 2007, at 18:38:31
Posted by Bobby on January 1, 2007, at 20:15:07
In reply to Re: what's the big deal? » karen_kay, posted by GGGabbi on January 1, 2007, at 18:38:31
Bobby--formally known as bobby
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 1, 2007, at 21:25:00
In reply to Re: what's the big deal? » Fallen4MyT, posted by karen_kay on January 1, 2007, at 10:03:07
I do not know who may think it is a big deal. I guess I see it as something that can use some change....I am not one to go in circles or back and forth on any one issue..I personally would like to see a limit on how MANY times a change could take place. I am not a very dramatic person, so when I speak I do not often use absolutes ...I guess one could say I am not a black and white kind of thinker and can be very gray.
> well, i did have a long, important post but somehow i hit a button and it was gone. i'll try again.....
>
> i'm assuming most of us here have psoted something we later regretted (be it personal info about ourselves or just posting something we wish we hadn't.). with this medium, all we have attached to us is our name and those words we write. why not be able to start anew after putting things here that we regret (be it drunk posting, misunderstandings, ect.)?
>
> this particular subject is something that comes up time after time (so i would guess it is kinda a big deal in babble land. perhaps i could be wrong, but this subject comes up quite often. i could be being overly dramatic and perhaps no one thinks it a big deal. either way, if my wording somehow offended you, then you need to deal with that. it's not anything i was saying to be offensive, but perhaps you took it that way? i honestly feel as if you are somewhat upset with me. am i wrong?)
>
> so, if someone feels outed, does it really matter too much what they did to feel that way anyway? i mean, isn't the point of this place to be supportive? and sometimes that can seem impossible if someone feels ignored. why not give them a chance to start over again, without also adding the burden of thinking that it's their fault.
>
>
>
>
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 1, 2007, at 21:31:38
In reply to Re: what's the big deal? » karen_kay, posted by GGGabbi on January 1, 2007, at 18:38:31
Lol I am one of those who have held to my name for years but I can see why one may want a name change once in a while. That is why I feel X amount of times a year would be best. Also IMO it would better serve the poster to work out the REASON they feel left out or whatever reason they changed.
> I can see why it would be disconcerting, but I don't think it's worth making another rule about.
> If someone is doing it with the motive to upset people then they'll just find another way.
> I think people are entitled to a fresh start, or two, or three.
> It's just one of those things.
>
> Also, because of the contrast I admire those who have been around and chosen hang onto their names no matter how many times they think they've made a "flaming @ss" of themselves :)
>
Posted by karen_kay on January 2, 2007, at 8:35:24
In reply to Re: what's the big deal? » karen_kay, posted by GGGabbi on January 1, 2007, at 18:38:31
every time i made a flaming butt of myself. i'd have changed it 3 times this week already!
and you miss gabbi, seem to change your name like i change my underpants. however, you never seem to make an *ss of yourself. could you teach me how? is the secret the name change? have a lovely day. and hope your new year is full of love, fun and name changes :)
Posted by GGGabbi on January 2, 2007, at 13:11:28
In reply to :) (nm) » GGGabbi, posted by Dinah on January 1, 2007, at 19:02:12
Posted by GGGabbi on January 2, 2007, at 13:23:10
In reply to yeah, imagine if i changed my name » GGGabbi, posted by karen_kay on January 2, 2007, at 8:35:24
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 3, 2007, at 3:05:38
In reply to Re: what's the big deal? » karen_kay, posted by GGGabbi on January 1, 2007, at 18:38:31
> I think people are entitled to a fresh start, or two, or three.
I like 3, too, would that be a reasonable cap?
Bob
Posted by gardenergirl on January 3, 2007, at 9:35:52
In reply to Re: cap on Name changes, posted by Dr. Bob on January 3, 2007, at 3:05:38
> > I think people are entitled to a fresh start, or two, or three.
>
> I like 3, too, would that be a reasonable cap?
>
> BobYou really like that number, eh?
If you set a cap, I think that folks ought to be able to email you to request another change for special circumstances if they go over the cap. I don't know what those special circumstances might be, but I think you could decide on a reasonable solution if that comes up. I would have no problem with that remaining between you and the poster.
gg
Posted by All Done on January 3, 2007, at 9:58:18
In reply to Re: cap on Name changes, posted by Dr. Bob on January 3, 2007, at 3:05:38
> I like 3, too, would that be a reasonable cap?
>
> BobDr. Bob,
Would you tell us why three?
Thanks,
Laurie
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2007, at 10:24:02
In reply to Re: cap on Name changes » Dr. Bob, posted by All Done on January 3, 2007, at 9:58:18
Clearly the man likes three. :)
Posted by muffled on January 3, 2007, at 13:14:31
In reply to Re: cap on Name changes » All Done, posted by Dinah on January 3, 2007, at 10:24:02
I think its like ordering sliced meat at the deli....they ask you how many grams(oz?) you want. Well how the hell do I know? So I come up with a number and then they try to get as close to that number as possible. WHY? I dunno, but I guess you got to start with SOMEthing LOL!!!!
3 sounds as good as anything to me.
And Bobs proly thinking to himself....see I am empowering them !
Sure Bob.
Later,
Muffled
Posted by GGGabbi on January 3, 2007, at 18:40:01
In reply to Re: cap on Name changes, posted by muffled on January 3, 2007, at 13:14:31
Well, as far as I can see, it's just one more rule, if for some reason people are doing it for it's percieved effect on others, they'll keep doing it, now that there is a limit it will make it even more enticing. It's so easy to hide your IP or get a different one now, that I just can't see this rule affecting anything productive
If people feel close to other posters they'll let them know about a name change. Perhaps, inadvertantly, those who constantly change names are just making the fact that they aren't feeling close to people more honest and apparent.
You can't force a sense of community.
Posted by GGGabbi on January 3, 2007, at 19:05:17
In reply to Re: cap on Name changes » muffled, posted by GGGabbi on January 3, 2007, at 18:40:01
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