Shown: posts 2 to 26 of 28. Go back in thread:
Posted by Gabbix2 on November 30, 2005, at 14:48:29
In reply to I disagree that this warranted a block, posted by wildcard on November 30, 2005, at 14:25:38
Well I guess they knew what they were doing because they announced the "s" word.
I understand how you feel though, I really do.
Those types of posts and then a block or a wrist slap always make me wince too.It's kind of like
"I'm sorry that you're being beaten, but could you please not scream so loudly, it's bothering the neighbours"
Posted by alexandra_k on November 30, 2005, at 17:39:59
In reply to I disagree that this warranted a block, posted by wildcard on November 30, 2005, at 14:25:38
yeah it is hard...
i guess...
that is the danger in turning off the civility checker safety net...
Posted by wildcard on November 30, 2005, at 18:24:51
In reply to Re: I disagree that this warranted a block, posted by alexandra_k on November 30, 2005, at 17:39:59
I see what you are saying but there have been occasions where people have done it not realizing. I have never heard of this poster so thought that they could be fairly new?? Regardless if you put a *, everyone knows what the word is and since they did take the time to put it in the subject box, I took it as a warning of sorts. Regardless, it did break the rules, however I feel a PBC or other form of a warning would have been more appropriate. Just my opinion.
Posted by Gabbix2 on November 30, 2005, at 19:22:13
In reply to Re: I disagree that this warranted a block, posted by wildcard on November 30, 2005, at 18:24:51
> I see what you are saying but there have been occasions where people have done it not realizing. I have never heard of this poster so thought that they could be fairly new?? Regardless if you put a *, everyone knows what the word is
Yeah, I've always found that kind of amusing..
Who's kidding?And yeah, in my heart I agree with you, completely. Yet another reason I've become slowly separate from Babble, seeing those kinds of things hurt, but I know they won't change.
Posted by wildcard on November 30, 2005, at 19:25:18
In reply to Re: I disagree that this warranted a block » wildcard, posted by Gabbix2 on November 30, 2005, at 19:22:13
I know exactly what you mean....
Posted by Phillipa on November 30, 2005, at 22:18:31
In reply to It's a shame » Gabbix2, posted by wildcard on November 30, 2005, at 19:25:18
I agree that a PBC could not even should have been given. I myself found this Thread and the poster who I don't know was in such pain. I thought the writing Board was a safe place to say exactly how you felt. Kind of like a journal. And those Threads are not a question to anyone and do not require any answer. Just my opinion on course. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by verne on December 1, 2005, at 0:13:15
In reply to Re: I disagree that this warranted a block » wildcard, posted by Gabbix2 on November 30, 2005, at 19:22:13
I agree completely. Both with a questionable block and the silliness of asterisking. Asterisking doesn't change the intent or meaning. In fact, a word disguised with asterisks causes me more distress than the actual spelling. It hurts just talking about it.
Perhaps, the real reason behind the block is not so much the words being used but in turning off auto-asterisking in the first place. I suppose that could be intentional.
I love asterisks as much as the next guy but using them to mask a word's spelling is like putting lipstick on the gorilla. Nope, it still looks like a gorilla.
Verne
Posted by Gabbix2 on December 1, 2005, at 0:33:33
In reply to Lipstick on the Gorilla » Gabbix2, posted by verne on December 1, 2005, at 0:13:15
Yeah asterisking is a funny thing. If *ss is vulgar, then doesn't that mean glass is like 2/3 vulgar? : )
And there are many powerful ways to hurt someone without using the word sh*t. One of them, is to block a person in pain, for saying it.
Posted by Dinah on December 1, 2005, at 1:32:47
In reply to Re: I disagree that this warranted a block » wildcard, posted by Gabbix2 on November 30, 2005, at 19:22:13
There was a post a long time ago by Trouble about asterisking that always strikes a chord with me when I think of the subject.
But... We all know that what Dr. Bob dislikes above all else is direct defiance, and I think that's what he considers the overriding of auto-asterisking to be.
I think he has whatever reasons he has for wanting the site to use askterisks. I've never seen it, and I've always been reluctant to be the language police (since I curse like a sailor). But I'm guessing he thinks he did what he could to reduce blocks on the issue by putting in the auto-asterisking system, and that that makes it extra likely that those who bypass it are going to be PBC'd or blocked.
I'm not sure I have a problem with it when the bypass is intentional, since there are rules here whether or not we like any particular one. I get upset when the autoasterisk bypass appears to be unintentional, as in combining two words into one word, or putting in asterisks to spell out f*rt.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 1, 2005, at 1:34:58
In reply to Re: Lipstick on the Gorilla » verne, posted by Gabbix2 on December 1, 2005, at 0:33:33
i think...
and i could be wrong...
but i think...that some people really are offended when other people use words that are considered vulgar...
and that other people really are offended at thinking that they aren't free to express themselves because other people might think they are using words that are considered vulgar...
so...
a comprimise was reached where you could use words that are considered vulgar (so long as you don't tell someone to f*ck off or get f*cked or whatever)...
so long as you had automated asterisking turned on...
or so long as you remembered to insert those asterisks yourself.it might seem a little pathetic...
how does an asterisk change things?
i think some of it might be...
that when you open the post
and see one or more asterisks
(they stand out visually at a glance)
then you can decide whether you want to read it or not...i dunno.
it is pretty tricky to turn the darned thing off...
i would say that turning it off is about as tricky as it is to turn babblemail on...i guess i'd be suprised if someone were to turn it off...
and not know that they would be blocked for not asterisking...
Posted by Gabbix2 on December 1, 2005, at 1:51:51
In reply to Re: I disagree that this warranted a block » Gabbix2, posted by Dinah on December 1, 2005, at 1:32:47
> There was a post a long time ago by Trouble about asterisking that always strikes a chord with me when I think of the subject.
>
> But... We all know that what Dr. Bob dislikes above all else is direct defiance, and I think that's what he considers the overriding of auto-asterisking to be.
>
Yeah, that's kind of what I meant in my first post "They knew what they were doing"
For a new poster having the asterisking as an option, may make it look as if you can choose to swear or not, and it's a personal decision. though and perhaps the announcement about the use of the word was like a trigger warning.
I probably sound like I'm playing both sides of the fence, but I don't mean to be.
Mental illness and pain make you do irrational things sometimes. And though I never want that to be an excuse for me, or someone thinking I'm incapable of making proper decisions because I'm "Ill"
I think that using the word sh*tty is minor, and blocking someone is not.And the fact that Doctor Bob dislikes defiance and can be severe about it, rather than looking at actual harm done and because his decisions are often "surprising" I sometimes like I've been caught in an abusive relationship that I've only recently recognized.
I do realize that's the way it is, and it's not going to change, and it's a matter of accepting it or not.
So yes, I theoretically understand the block (wonder though, why it wasn't a P.B.C)
But it does make me cringe
Posted by Gabbix2 on December 1, 2005, at 1:59:37
In reply to Re: Lipstick on the Gorilla, posted by alexandra_k on December 1, 2005, at 1:34:58
> i think...
> and i could be wrong...
> but i think...
>
> that some people really are offended when other people use words that are considered vulgar...
>There are so many "polite" ways to be vulgar, I understand they can't all be asterisked though :)
> and that other people really are offended at thinking that they aren't free to express themselves because other people might think they are using words that are considered vulgar...
>
> so...
>
> a comprimise was reached where you could use words that are considered vulgar (so long as you don't tell someone to f*ck off or get f*cked or whatever)...
>
> so long as you had automated asterisking turned on...
> or so long as you remembered to insert those asterisks yourself.
>
>
> it is pretty tricky to turn the darned thing off...
> i would say that turning it off is about as tricky as it is to turn babblemail on...
>
> i guess i'd be suprised if someone were to turn it off...
> and not know that they would be blocked for not asterisking...
>
Oh lot's of people require asterisking, I understand the theory behind it, I'm not even trying to say that Dr. Bob shouldn't have it.
I do still find it to be one of those little societal monkey dances people do.
Things that are common, but have little meaning (to me)
Kind of like the way two people who hate each other will still say "Good day" because it's "polite"
I'm not so much criticizing it, as unable (literally) to be a part of it to any extent.
It's like a road map I can't read.
Posted by muffled on December 1, 2005, at 3:08:38
In reply to Re: Lipstick on the Gorilla » alexandra_k, posted by Gabbix2 on December 1, 2005, at 1:59:37
had a major spaz. I was new. Wanted to freely express. Got cruelly blocked. I survived. I am crude as the next guy, well............actually a whole lot worse. But anyways, ahhhh, those boundary things, cool boundaries that keep me safe with my T. That keep me safe here. I am learning to control myself. To walk away when i feel like I'm losing it. I like the controls here, its safer, not too wild. Too crazy. then i would get too crazy.
Hurt like a f*cking sonof a bitch at the time.
But I still here....
Did I make sense?
Muffled.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 1, 2005, at 4:27:15
In reply to Uh, been there, done that...., posted by muffled on December 1, 2005, at 3:08:38
> Did I make sense?yeah...
((((muffled))))
i guess people do get upset when people get blocked.
because...it HURTS
and when people are hurting in the first place...
and then they get blocked...
how is that going to do anything other than HURT them even more?????and i suppose it does seem cruel at times...
dr-bob...
couldn't you have just PBC'd and posted a link to the bit about how you will get blocked with asterisking turned off???
just to make sure they knew that???
Posted by wildcard on December 1, 2005, at 6:22:40
In reply to Lipstick on the Gorilla » Gabbix2, posted by verne on December 1, 2005, at 0:13:15
Posted by wildcard on December 1, 2005, at 6:35:37
In reply to Re: Uh, been there, done that...., posted by alexandra_k on December 1, 2005, at 4:27:15
EXACTLY!!!! My concern is what this person was writing and the apparent pain they appeared to be in. This is supposed to be a support site, therefore a warning (PBC) of sorts I feel would have been much more appropriate. What if this person were at their wits end and b/c of a word you see and hear most everyday felt rejected, hurt, and alone once again b/c an 'i' appeared instead of a *? I know that when I was new and went to the board where all those options are, I was confused..lol That is why I say it *could* have been done in error. Why else would they put a warning in the subject? I just think it was harshly reprimanded but once again, just my opinion...
Posted by wildcard on December 1, 2005, at 6:41:42
In reply to Re: Lipstick on the Gorilla, posted by alexandra_k on December 1, 2005, at 1:34:58
*I* am a computer dummy and when I first saw all of the options, I was lost. It is easy to make a mistake when you don't know what you're doing. They may or may not have but seeing they put Trigger and the S word as a warning, they appeared to mean no harm or do anything intentionally IMO.?????? I just hope if they read this, that they know we care!
Posted by Nickengland on December 1, 2005, at 8:20:39
In reply to Re: Uh, been there, done that.... » alexandra_k, posted by wildcard on December 1, 2005, at 6:35:37
Hi wildcard,
>This is supposed to be a support site, therefore a warning (PBC) of sorts I feel would have been much more appropriate.
I agree - I just did a quick google search though and the only I can think of is that Shame used words..well you'll see in the link below, which reading the post he was PBC'd on from the link the asterisk system wasn't turned on/turned off or he forgot to manually insert it.
>Why else would they put a warning in the subject?
He got a PBC for that. I think thats why in the subject line when he was doing the same thing again it may have been Dr Bob's reasoning to block him. (best be careful trying know how a Psychiatirst thinks though lol) From what I know sometimes if people do the same thing once then they're warned, then if they do the same thing again they're blocked. I'm no expert though lol From the little I do know maybe this had something to do with it though.
It is a shame so to speak he is now blocked, and its great you're so caring towards Shame...I'm sure he will appreciate you supporting him while he's blocked.
-------------------------------------------------
Re: please be civil » Shame
> We are up to the "F*ck off" level of interaction now
>
> Short of a knife attack (justifiable as it may be), does anyone have any suggestions?I’m sorry you’re having a hard time, but please don’t use language that could offend others or joke about harming others.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration.
They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050212/msgs/467894.html
-------------------------------------------------
Hope that helps.
Best wishes
Nick
Posted by verne on December 1, 2005, at 8:25:24
In reply to Good metaphor!! New to me but good ;-) (nm) » verne, posted by wildcard on December 1, 2005, at 6:22:40
I heard a wise old retired police chief use it during a congressional hearing while describing "comestic" (cough, cough, no pun intended) changes and reform after 9/11.
I just got the book, "Dirt Farmer Wisdom", so watch out.
Verne
Posted by Shame on December 1, 2005, at 9:27:52
In reply to I disagree that this warranted a block, posted by wildcard on November 30, 2005, at 14:25:38
Hi all.It's nice to see that my posts only create a stir when I do something bad. What have a I learned from this experience? Why, swear as much as possible of course! Automatic asterisking has been enabled and I'm now free to express myself using as many *'s as I can fit in one line. Holy sh*t, this is great!
OK, I'm joking. Mostly. Like I told Dr. Bob, behaving has never been one of my strong points.
To end the conjecture, this is the way it shakes out. Yes, I knew about automatic asterisking. I disabled it. It was my guess that because I was posting in the writing forum and I put a warning in the subject line, people who didn't want to read profanity didn't have to. It turns out reality is somewhat more complex than that. After trading emails with Dr. Bob a couple of times I understand where he is coming from, even if I see things differently.
I believe my very first post on the message boards got a PBC warning, and I said a good deal more in that post than I did in "In the Echoes of my Mind". That post was a direct appeal for input and deserved a PBC. That one was the warning shot across the bow, so to speak.
The only thing that really cheesed me about the situation was that I couldn't even post to the admin forum and say "This stinks!". I thought it would be simpler to post an argument there than to fill Dr. Bob's email with complaints. I had to satisfy my discontent by standing in front of my wife and jumping up and down holding my breath until I turned blue. Then she asked what I was doing, and things just got awkward.
Anyhoo. As far as my own opinion on asterisking is concerned, it obviously chafes at me in some fashion. I told Dr. Bob that putting an asterisk in a word doesn't really change anything. I wrote it. You read it. We both thought it. Then Dr. Bob asked (to paraphrase) "If asterisking a profanity still makes it a profanity, then what are we all arguing about?". I had to give him that point, but lets just say I'm still itching somewhere deep inside :)
I'll test automatic asterisking at some point, but I have a general distrust in the abilities of other programmers, so I will keep it clean until I'm feeling cocky someday.
And thanks to alexandra_k for pointing this thread out to me. It made my morning.
Regards.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 1, 2005, at 16:34:02
In reply to I disagree that this warranted a block, posted by wildcard on November 30, 2005, at 14:25:38
if people were concerned for the posters feelings...
then i would have thought an appropriate way of going about that...
would have been to post something supportive and caring to the thread in question...
Posted by wildcard on December 1, 2005, at 16:48:16
In reply to Re: I disagree that this warranted a block, posted by alexandra_k on December 1, 2005, at 16:34:02
I think each person has their own way of showing their support and caring. I do care as that is why I brought this thread out. I believe that I was being supportive by what I posted because the writing in fact touched me. I see others that must have cared as they took the time to speak out also. Thx
Posted by alexandra_k on December 1, 2005, at 17:03:09
In reply to Re: I disagree that this warranted a block, posted by wildcard on December 1, 2005, at 16:48:16
i'm not trying to question that...
i'm just saying that if you wanted to make sure the poster knew you cared...
then it probably would have been more profitable to have posted to the thread in question...
because the poster would be more likely to read there...
Posted by wildcard on December 1, 2005, at 17:09:20
In reply to Re: I disagree that this warranted a block, posted by alexandra_k on December 1, 2005, at 17:03:09
I may show that I care in a different way than others but that doesn't mean that I don't b/c I did not post to that person. I have written personal things on writing and sometimes things are better left unsaid. Sometimes actions can speak louder than words. Everyone is different.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 1, 2005, at 17:23:02
In reply to Re: I disagree that this warranted a block, posted by wildcard on December 1, 2005, at 17:09:20
i didn't intend for you to take that as a personal criticism.
sorry if i hurt your feelings
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Administration | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.