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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sunny10 on February 23, 2005, at 15:26:03
someone is being "uncivil" to them?
I know someone who did that. The police laughed at them and left. And that friend became so bitter and angry that she stopped being able to be a friend to anyone. She was not a victim, in this case, she just perceived herself to be. She chose to allow herself to be a victim and scared off everyone else.
If we choose not to learn how to deal with all types of communications from all types of people, are we truly ever growing as people? Even if "dealing with" needs to be "ignoring", isn't that still better than giving someone power over us by allowing ourselves to be hurt by what someone else says AND RESPONDING- continuing the hurt? That sounds more like self-sabotaging to me than standing up for myself.
I choose to grow. I choose to debate. I am working on not using the word "hate" (I hate this, I hate that, not just, I hate so-and-so- the uses are just a bad habit I am trying to break). I try to refrain from using words like "always" or "never", because absolutes don't really exist in my life- I may change my mind about that particular thing tomorrow if I learn something new to add to my thoughts on the topic!
I choose to continue a conversation or let it end-I don't choose to continue one on purpose that hurts me everytime I have to think about it. And that's all I choose to say about what I've been reading on Admin lately- because it hurts me to watch people hurt themselves over and over.
Posted by alexandra_k on February 23, 2005, at 16:04:51
In reply to does anyone here actually call the police if, posted by sunny10 on February 23, 2005, at 15:26:03
I liked your post :-)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on that.I have just recently read something on 'victims' becoming the 'perpetrators' for the next 'victims'...
It is hard. When we are hurt we lash out. Humans and animals both. But in my better moments I realise that it doesn't help to perpeptuate the cycle. But it is hard. Really really hard.
>I am working on not using the word "hate" (I hate this, I hate that, not just, I hate so-and-so- the uses are just a bad habit I am trying to break).
This is something I constantly work on too. I try to ask myself 'why do I "hate" it'? Then I get to things like 'I don't believe it is helpful' or 'I believe it is hurtful' or whatever.
>I try to refrain from using words like "always" or "never", because absolutes don't really exist in my life- I may change my mind about that particular thing tomorrow if I learn something new to add to my thoughts on the topic!
:-)
> it hurts me to watch people hurt themselves over and over.Yeah. I just want to make it stop, but I don't know how.
Thanks for your post.
Posted by sunny10 on February 23, 2005, at 16:33:47
In reply to Re: does anyone here actually call the police if » sunny10, posted by alexandra_k on February 23, 2005, at 16:04:51
Posted by partlycloudy on February 23, 2005, at 18:09:57
In reply to does anyone here actually call the police if, posted by sunny10 on February 23, 2005, at 15:26:03
Posted by Susan47 on March 8, 2005, at 11:28:23
In reply to does anyone here actually call the police if, posted by sunny10 on February 23, 2005, at 15:26:03
I recognize what you're saying and I agree with you, but it behooves me to say that the person who called the police on that (is that TRUE, BTW? Scary) had to have been delusional in her belief system and no wonder she turned bitter if the police laughed at her.. they should've been sympathetic, concerned, and more professional, recognizing that they were dealing with a mentally disturbed person. They should've taken her to a hospital to get treatment. Somewhere she could've talked to someone about what's REALLY bugging her. Because we know that words can't really hurt you unless you allow it, right? Wrong?
But I love what you had to say about growing. And it's very true. When you're in a place to be able to do that, it's wonderful. I feel sorry for people like this woman who closed herself off, and I hope that someday she's mentally fit enough to open, I hope she finds the help she needs. And the police who responded in her case, definitely need to learn compassion.
I've known many police officers in my day, and they develop a shell, a way of coping, that's hard to for others to understand, but also sometimes interferes when they need compassion.
This is the end of the thread.
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