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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 16 to 40 of 52. Go back in thread:
Posted by Atticus on October 23, 2004, at 23:39:57
In reply to Hi Mary » Mary_Bowers, posted by bobby on October 23, 2004, at 13:32:16
Don't drag me into this infantile dust-up. Even on my worst day, my grammar and spelling would never be as consistently f**ked up as hers. And to equate EVERYONE who has strongly criticized the way Dr. Bob runs PB is quite simply asinine. You sound like a cultist whose leader is being attacked. I guess it's a good thing that Dr. Bob can't ask schmucks like you to form a virtual queue and then start ladling out cyanide-laced grape Kool-Aid like Jim Jones. I have a feeling you'd be first in line. I just stopped by PB one last time to leave a link on Writing. A friend had e-mailed me about the "Lord of the Flies" melodrama going on here, so I thought I'd check it out, and g*ddamn if she wasn't right. And forget about going to the trouble of blocking me, Dr. Bob. Morons like this poster are precisely the reason I've left this playpen. They can't stomach any and all criticism of their exalted master, whose face appears atop each and every board like the omnipresent posters of Big Brother in "1984". You go right on loving Big Brother like Winston Smith in the book, little bobby; far be it from me to interfere with your cult of personality "government" here. I know that nothing will ever change or even mitigate the megalomania behind Dr. Bob's brand of fascistic administration. Goosestep to your heart's content, but don't accuse me of being this Mary Bowers character. You sound like George Bush: "You're either for us or against us." We all know how well that approach has turned out. Unlike me, she just hasn't learned yet that she's spitting into the wind and preaching to a flock of sheep. Ta. Atticus
Posted by alesta on October 24, 2004, at 1:22:05
In reply to Are these not I statements? » Dr. Bob, posted by gardenergirl on October 23, 2004, at 20:17:44
gg, honestly, you would not be hurt and offended if jai said that to you? come on..yes, all our feelings are our own, that is immaterial. just because someone shaped some hurtful words into "I statements" doesn't make them okay. i guarantee you'd have some issues with Jai if she said that to you.
amy
Posted by Jai Narayan on October 24, 2004, at 8:41:53
In reply to Re: Are these not I statements? » gardenergirl, posted by alesta on October 24, 2004, at 1:22:05
So I see where the problem lies.
I was saying that about the topic of a sexual nature she used as the header....
sorry it came out like it was about Mary...
it was the topic she choose.
I can see what you mean.
I really wasn't thinking well.
This whole board is overwhelming for me at this time.
I will take a break
Jai
Posted by bobby on October 24, 2004, at 12:34:11
In reply to Re: Hi Mary » bobby, posted by Atticus on October 23, 2004, at 23:39:57
Apparently Ive touched a nerve. I apologize. Have a good day.
Posted by gardenergirl on October 24, 2004, at 16:31:28
In reply to Re: Hi Mary » Atticus, posted by bobby on October 24, 2004, at 12:34:11
Posted by gardenergirl on October 24, 2004, at 16:35:38
In reply to Re: Are these not I statements? » gardenergirl, posted by alesta on October 24, 2004, at 1:22:05
> gg, honestly, you would not be hurt and offended if jai said that to you? come on..yes, all our feelings are our own, that is immaterial. just because someone shaped some hurtful words into "I statements" doesn't make them okay. i guarantee you'd have some issues with Jai if she said that to you.
>
> amyAmy,
Thanks for your interest in this. Honestly, I may feel hurt by someone saying something similar to what Jai said, but if the person used an "I" statement, my hurt is my own, and their feelings are their own. I would not blame my feelings on the other person. I might express them to the other person using "I" statements, or I may just hide out and hurt. Hopefully I would do the former.I think if I were on the receiving end of what Jai posted, I would want to know more about why she felt sickened. I would be concerned that there was a misunderstanding, a genuine problem, or something else going on. Perhaps it's the T training in me. You hear a lot of things, and you have to make sure you understand what belongs to whom.
Not that I'm perfect at it by any means...
gg
>
Posted by AdaGrace on October 24, 2004, at 18:52:21
In reply to Re: Hi Mary » bobby, posted by Atticus on October 23, 2004, at 23:39:57
I just want to say that the post that Mary is quoting is mine. And I stand up proudly and admit that. However, let me clarify something. One of the first of my posts......and yes I am such a newbie.....made reference to a song title I believe. I received a message from Dr. Bob refering to the double qoutes. Since then whenever I have refered to a title I have done the double quotes and then made a silly comment to Dr. Bob regarding the double quotes. It's a joke. Pure and simple. I think Dr. Bob gets that. It is so sad the others don't. I in no way feel as if Dr. Bob was thanking me for anything but using the double quotes.
Mary, I do not need you to fight my battles, in fact I have none. As I sit here I am still chuckling that you are so adamant about your cause that you drag every one you can into it. I do not feel that Dr. Bob is practicing medicine on me. Quite the contrary. I feel as if Dr. Bob is moderating this website. Pure and simple.
Mary, Mary....I don't need you.....but thanks for your concern.
Dr. Bob....I really am a funny person, lots of people tell me so.
Posted by AdaGrace on October 24, 2004, at 20:18:55
In reply to Raising My Hand and Admitting, posted by AdaGrace on October 24, 2004, at 18:52:21
I tend to say what I feel, I am extreemly apoligetic that any of my comments referring to someones sexual abilities were offensive to others. If you would like you can go to the Relationship Board and read my post on "Poon Tang" which is in reference to the female anatomy. Feel free to rip that thread apart as well. Once again, something that apparently could be offensive to others. However, since I know for a fact that the person I was speaking of does not frequent this website, and I have said many things about this person - my husband, I felt it was okay to put light on the situation. Apparently it was food for people to chew the fat out of and then spit it out. Again, I appologize. From now on, I will keep my post to "Hi, how are you", and "Nice weather we are having, isn't it" and things such as that. Sorry for "opening up" and telling my true feeling.
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 24, 2004, at 20:51:05
In reply to Re: Hi Mary » bobby, posted by Atticus on October 23, 2004, at 23:39:57
> this infantile dust-up...
Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down. I've asked you to be civil before, so now I'm going to block you from posting for a week.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 24, 2004, at 20:51:37
In reply to Are these not I statements? » Dr. Bob, posted by gardenergirl on October 23, 2004, at 20:17:44
> Aren't Jai's statements "I" statements?
I guess so. But the usual context for this has been feeling hurt or offended, and maybe there's a difference between that and feeling sickened?
Bob
Posted by crushedout on October 24, 2004, at 20:51:46
In reply to Re: Hi Mary » bobby, posted by Atticus on October 23, 2004, at 23:39:57
...like everyone else's?
my g*d, he's a good writer. i'll miss him. he's awfully entertaining.
Posted by crushedout on October 24, 2004, at 20:53:36
In reply to Re blocked for week » Atticus, posted by Dr. Bob on October 24, 2004, at 20:51:05
that was a funny choice of quotes to pick out, dr. bob. :)
Posted by crushedout on October 24, 2004, at 20:56:04
In reply to Re: Are these not I statements?, posted by Dr. Bob on October 24, 2004, at 20:51:37
no offense, dr. b, but i think you should un-pbc jai, since you basically admit that it was a mistake. the poor girl's all shook up.
Posted by gardenergirl on October 24, 2004, at 21:00:14
In reply to Re: Are these not I statements? » Dr. Bob, posted by crushedout on October 24, 2004, at 20:56:04
I agree. Sickened is another way of feeling. I don't think there should be a hierarchy of feelings.
gg
Posted by karen_kay on October 24, 2004, at 21:58:58
In reply to Be prepared to have sex Thanks Hsiung replied, posted by Mary_Bowers on October 22, 2004, at 20:08:25
and it's not with me?
good grief, and i thought my day couldn't get any worse :(
Posted by alesta on October 24, 2004, at 22:17:54
In reply to Re: Are these not I statements? » alesta, posted by gardenergirl on October 24, 2004, at 16:35:38
hi, gg,
thanks for addressing me in the nice way that you did. :) i guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one..:)
I realize in therapy they emphasize "I statements" as a good way to help communicate to your partner in a nonoffending manner. I do think they can be a great tool for that purpose. But I think it is still possible to offend someone, even using these statements, if that is the intent. Good intent needs to work in conjunction with the "I statement." For instance, someone could have said to Mary, or whoever (this is just an example of how an "I statement" can be hurtful) "I hate stupid b*tches." this is definitely completely offensive. So, therefore, the "i statement" format does not guarantee that a statement will be nonoffensive. in sum, with good intent, i statements can help, but do not eliminate the possibility of offending.
Amy
Posted by gardenergirl on October 24, 2004, at 23:49:44
In reply to Re: Are these not I statements? » gardenergirl, posted by alesta on October 24, 2004, at 22:17:54
I have to agree, if someone said that to me, well, I would be angry. Good point about the intent. I didn't perceive any intent to hurt on Jai's part, though. Perhaps I am reading too much or too little into her post, but given her history of posts, it felt like legitimate pain to me.
But disagreeing is okay, as you say.
Warmly,
gg
Posted by alesta on October 25, 2004, at 1:04:37
In reply to Re: Are these not I statements? » alesta, posted by gardenergirl on October 24, 2004, at 23:49:44
Cool. :) Still love ya! :-)Take Care,
amy :)
Posted by Jai Narayan on October 25, 2004, at 8:28:42
In reply to Re: Are these not I statements? » gardenergirl, posted by alesta on October 25, 2004, at 1:04:37
"Be prepared to have sex with someone with no experience other than porn movies. Lips full of spit."
I was sickened by the thread Mary posted.
I totally own my reaction to be ill.
This, for some reason, brought up my molestation memories.
So the part about being sick was in relationship to the post that Mary posted.
It was not in reference to Mary herself.
Sorry.
Now that I've had time to look at it and I am free of my reaction
I can even enjoy KK's comment and laugh.But when I first saw it I felt ill.
So the whole Admin. board started to swim in my head and eyes.
It felt like vertigo.Sorry for causing any problems.
thank you gg for your support.
You helped me to see clearly.
Jai
Posted by AdaGrace on October 25, 2004, at 9:41:08
In reply to Double double quotes, eh?, posted by Mary_Bowers on October 23, 2004, at 0:30:20
>Can't be right all the time.>
Nice to see you admit a mistake Mary.
> I find it disturbing that a physician schmoozes with clients about how they punctuate their graphically sexual Internet chats, which he sponsors.>
"schmoozes"? It was a Thank You. There was no schmoozing at all. Good Grief!!!!
"Graphically sexual Internet Chats"????????I made no references to body parts.
I made no references to actual specific GRAPHIC sexual acts. Okay, the "Squeel Like a Pig" comment could be graphic if someone had actually seen the movie. Sorry about that.
"Sexual Internet Chats"? You make it sound like I was having cyber sex with Dr. Bob. How ridiculous, and extreemly offensive to me.
<There are a lot of things that might give a person what feels like a warm healthy glow, but they are not neccessarily healthy and perhaps nothing more than empty excitement.>I got no warm healthy glow from Dr. Bob's "thank you"...only a small grin that he got my "double double toil and trouble" line. Which is a reference to witchcraft, and I am sure that is offensive to some as well. Again I appoligize for that.
As far as "empty excitement" goes.......Mary, there has been absolutely no "empty excitement" for me here. As a matter of fact, I have absolutely no idea what "empty excitement" means...I have no excitement in my life period, hence my reason for visiting this website in the first place.
I am extreemly offended that you used one of my posts and included it in your crusade to berate and badger the "moderator" of this site and I am very upset. I certainly hope you think about the ramifications of your actions in the future because not only have you upset me, you have upset Jai and a good many others.
I have made a few friends here, and now feel belittled that one of my posts was pointed out and picked apart so that everyone coming to this board could read it over and over again. I was speaking to an individual in a joking manner. Not you, not Dr. Bob (except for the double double quote comment), and not Jai. Even though I realize that my post was public and could be read by everyone on this website, people who do not frequent the Social board would not have seen it if it wasn't for you. People that do frequent that board, but might have been offended by my post's title may or may not have simply overlooked it and not read it. Now because of you, it has been spread all over this board as well.
Thank you Mary for making me feel like a complete idiot, a social outcast, and above all......someone who sounds like a sexual pervert.
AdaGrace
Posted by AdaGrace on October 25, 2004, at 9:43:54
In reply to I was sickened by the thread Mary posted, posted by Jai Narayan on October 25, 2004, at 8:28:42
I meant no harm to anyone on this website, and I am very sorry that I was the original poster and that my own comment was upsetting to you. I really am sorry. I am very angry right now that my post was reffered to, but I am very very sorry to you that it was upsetting in any way.
Please forgive me,
AdaGrace
Posted by Dinah on October 25, 2004, at 10:47:02
In reply to Re: Double double quotes, eh? » Mary_Bowers, posted by AdaGrace on October 25, 2004, at 9:41:08
Sweetie, don't worry yourself. I doubt there are many people who see you as any of those things.
I see you as someone who worked darn hard to keep Social up and cheerful at a time when it needed a little boost. I appreciated that.
Posted by AdaGrace on October 25, 2004, at 10:58:26
In reply to Re: Double double quotes, eh? » AdaGrace, posted by Dinah on October 25, 2004, at 10:47:02
Thank you for the support, but I still fell grossly perverted and stupid. I think I'll just go eat myself sick.
AdaGrace
Posted by just plain jane on October 25, 2004, at 11:38:48
In reply to Be prepared to have sex Thanks Hsiung replied, posted by Mary_Bowers on October 22, 2004, at 20:08:25
This whole thread was started because of a conversation between myself and AdaGrace.
Mary Bowers,
Did you read my post, to which she replied with the one you have been squalling about?
Did you perceive that it was friendly banter?
Did you perceive our humor?
Do you understand the suggestion on my part that she could come to my farm and have a break from her misery whilst I went into her "life" to see about brightening it up for her?Do you feel good to have tried to distort a simple friendly humor-laced conversation between two posters into something outrageously inappropriate?
Do I really give a shyt what you think??
-----------------------
AdaGrace,I'm sorry this happened with your post. Please try to realize it has nothing to do with you doing something wrong or offensive. You didn't.
I believe it has everything to do with this Mary Bowers poster probably having little else to do with her mind than be the way she is being, which I find quite offensive.
-------------------
Dr. Bob;
Doesn't Mary's offending me and so many others qualify her for a block? Or at least a dozen or so PBCs??
Posted by gardenergirl on October 25, 2004, at 15:36:09
In reply to I was sickened by the thread Mary posted, posted by Jai Narayan on October 25, 2004, at 8:28:42
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