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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 73 to 97 of 97. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 9, 2003, at 0:21:59
In reply to Re: it's interesting, what's going on in this thread » Zo, posted by Larry Hoover on August 8, 2003, at 9:24:43
> Your comments are naive.
Could you please rephrase that one sentence? Thanks,
Bob
Posted by zenhussy on August 9, 2003, at 0:26:47
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » Larry Hoover, posted by Dr. Bob on August 9, 2003, at 0:21:59
> > Your comments are naive.
>
> Could you please rephrase that one sentence? Thanks,
>
> BobWhoa there Bob. Zo is out on her heiny for 16 weeks and this is the SECOND please rephrase that that Larry Hoover is asked for.
Um......yeah.
zenhussy
Posted by BekkaH on August 9, 2003, at 0:59:45
In reply to Re: I don't really understand.????, posted by Dinah on August 8, 2003, at 7:44:34
> > > So some of us may feel so safe here that we >don't wish to post elsewhere.
***********************************************Many posters refer to PB as "a safe place." I'm interested to know how PB is safe. And what is it safe from?
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 9, 2003, at 1:09:44
In reply to Re: I don't really understand.???? - Dinah, posted by BekkaH on August 9, 2003, at 0:59:45
> Many posters refer to PB as "a safe place." I'm interested to know how PB is safe. And what is it safe from?
My own hope is that they'll be relatively safe from incivility.
Others are, of course, free to speak for themselves, but should then remember to take care not to post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down, thanks.
Bob
Posted by Dinah on August 9, 2003, at 3:11:41
In reply to Re: I don't really understand.???? - Dinah, posted by BekkaH on August 9, 2003, at 0:59:45
Posted by Dinah on August 9, 2003, at 3:18:50
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob is right. On all counts. :) (nm) » BekkaH, posted by Dinah on August 9, 2003, at 3:11:41
Just a clarification, because my silly side is often misunderstood.
What I meant was that I was about to say more or less what Dr. Bob said (and in the middle of the night that's enough to make me sillyish). That it felt relatively safe from the things he tries to protect us from, broadly defined as incivility on this site.
And that to be more specific than that would probably be unwise as there are people who define incivility differently than Dr. Bob, who might be offended.
Posted by NikkiT2 on August 9, 2003, at 7:01:16
In reply to Re: I don't really understand.???? - Dinah, posted by BekkaH on August 9, 2003, at 0:59:45
> Many posters refer to PB as "a safe place." I'm interested to know how PB is safe. And what is it safe from?Like Dr Bob says.. its safe from incivility.. here I won't get attacked for saying how I am feeling, I won't get attacked for being fat, or being short... I won't get attacked period as a rule. And if someone attacks me, I know they will be dealt with.
thats why I find it safe. Its not always been so safe, (I've been here 4 years) which is why some of us appreciate the safetly of it now
Nikki
Posted by Larry Hoover on August 9, 2003, at 7:31:17
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » Dr. Bob, posted by zenhussy on August 9, 2003, at 0:26:47
> > > Your comments are naive.
> >
> > Could you please rephrase that one sentence? Thanks,
> >
> > Bob
>
> Whoa there Bob. Zo is out on her heiny for 16 weeks and this is the SECOND please rephrase that that Larry Hoover is asked for.
>
> Um......yeah.
>
> zenhussyI was going to post something on the subject anyway (relevant to my delay in rephrasing in the first instance), when this second instance arose. Dr. Bob and I were engaged in an email discussion, in which I required some clarification from him of just what the problem is. If there is an incivility in my language, it is very subtle, and unintentional.
Lar
Posted by Larry Hoover on August 9, 2003, at 7:53:25
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » Larry Hoover, posted by Dr. Bob on August 9, 2003, at 0:21:59
> > Your comments are naive.
>
> Could you please rephrase that one sentence? Thanks,
>
> BobI could have said the same thing, without any use of the second person, i.e. "you". Moreover, I might have better gotten my point across without using the word naive, which may have some "baggage" attached to it, in common usage.
So, to retain my intended meaning, I might have said...
There are many other ways to view the world than from through the template of Asperger's and neurotypical.
Lar
Posted by Larry Hoover on August 9, 2003, at 8:06:24
In reply to Re: I don't really understand.???? - Dinah, posted by BekkaH on August 9, 2003, at 0:59:45
> > > > So some of us may feel so safe here that we >don't wish to post elsewhere.
> ***********************************************
>
> Many posters refer to PB as "a safe place." I'm interested to know how PB is safe. And what is it safe from?It may not be obvious from here, what is meant by "safe place". Out there, on Usenet, I have been attacked by swarms (organized trolls), I have had numerous postings forged under my name, I have even had "Googled quotes" fabricated in my name. These were taking place without obvious provocation, in some cases. In other instances, misunderstanding arose, but they were used to create massive floods of invective (the classic flaming). For example, I mentioned my past abuse of alcohol, so suddenly I'm made out to be a wife-beating, child-molesting monster in denial.
The most common problem was that simple debate would turn ad hominem in an instant. Who needs that?
Perhaps, being a geek makes me particularly vulnerable to that sort of thing, but who knows.
The rules about civility (remember, that has the same root meaning as civilized), are really about not making ad hominem (at the person) comments.
Recent events here have helped me to refine my interpersonal dialogue. That's a good thing. A life skill. I wouldn't (and didn't) get that kind of learning "out there".
Lar
Posted by zenhussy on August 9, 2003, at 9:23:55
In reply to Re: I don't really understand.???? - Dinah » BekkaH, posted by Larry Hoover on August 9, 2003, at 8:06:24
>>Recent events here have helped me to refine my interpersonal dialogue. That's a good thing. A life skill. I wouldn't (and didn't) get that kind of learning "out there".<<--Larry Hoover
Dr. Bob,
So Larry gets to work out his interpersonal skills here....is GIVEN the chance not once but twice and fortunately goes with it for the betterment of all. It's nice to see when a poster uses their 'get out of jail free' card wisely. Why not give that card to all posters?
Where is Zo's chance?
Ace's chance?
kid_A's chance?
a non syncophant,
zenhussy
Posted by Larry Hoover on August 9, 2003, at 10:58:47
In reply to and where would Zo's learning take place?--Dr. Bob, posted by zenhussy on August 9, 2003, at 9:23:55
> >>Recent events here have helped me to refine my interpersonal dialogue. That's a good thing. A life skill. I wouldn't (and didn't) get that kind of learning "out there".<<--Larry Hoover
>
> Dr. Bob,
>
> So Larry gets to work out his interpersonal skills here....We all get to do that, if we decide to do so.
As the philosophy being questioned was mine, I'd like to expand on the subject a little more.
I think that what is important in life is not what happens, but what one does in response to what happens. Events permit decisions. And, as a decision might be to choose one path over another, prior decisions can impact on the very nature of subsequent ones. At a possible fork in the road, choosing one path over another will inevitably lead to later decisions particular to the path chosen. In effect, you can look at individual decisions as being part of a decision tree.
Another issue is locus of control, i.e. what is in my power, and what is not. Bob gave me a PBC. That's a decision point for me. Anything is possible, but I decide what I'm going to do about it. I haven't submitted to Bob's will. I have chosen a path for personal betterment. I would like to think that is one of the outcomes Bob would like to see, but he can't make it happen.
In my comments directed to Pax, I made a strong effort to be civil, but not to avoid controversy, per se. (One of the issues I discussed with Bob via email was controversy.) In retropect, I failed to avoid incivility, perhaps miserably.
I'm sorry, Pax. I had hoped to have a more direct and personal opportunity to express that sentiment, but you haven't reappeared. So, here it is, anyway.
>...is GIVEN the chance not once but twice and fortunately goes with it for the betterment of all.
Thank you for acknowledging my efforts. Bob affords many people discretion, something that I think many people fail to acknowledge. Pax got PBC'ed in this thread, even though he had previously been banned. In the initial flap over the Ace banning, djmm and others used all kinds of forbidden language, without penalty.
>It's nice to see when a poster uses their 'get out of jail free' card wisely. Why not give that card to all posters?
Theirs expired, unused?
> Where is Zo's chance?At PBC, one week, two weeks, four weeks, and eight weeks. Now, sixteen weeks. According to *my* philosophy, those would be the decision points in the decision tree.
> Ace's chance?
>
> kid_A's chance?Similar.
> a non syncophant,
> zenhussyQuite separately to the above, the very presence of this word on the page is offensive to me, although the word is sycophant.
Lar
Posted by zenhussy on August 9, 2003, at 11:04:11
In reply to Re: and where would Zo's learning take place? » zenhussy, posted by Larry Hoover on August 9, 2003, at 10:58:47
>
> > a non syncophant,
> > zenhussy
>
> Quite separately to the above, the very presence of this word on the page is offensive to me, although the word is sycophant.
>
> LarLar,
Like stjames I too am offended at my spelling or grammar being corrected here.
Thank you for not attending to this matter again.
zenhussy
Posted by Larry Hoover on August 9, 2003, at 11:39:54
In reply to Re: and where would Zo's learning take place? » Larry Hoover, posted by zenhussy on August 9, 2003, at 11:04:11
> >
> > > a non syncophant,
> > > zenhussy
> >
> > Quite separately to the above, the very presence of this word on the page is offensive to me, although the word is sycophant.
> >
> > Lar
>
> Lar,
>
> Like stjames I too am offended at my spelling or grammar being corrected here.
>
> Thank you for not attending to this matter again.
>
> zenhussyI'm sorry.
Lar
Posted by KimberlyDi on August 9, 2003, at 15:06:13
In reply to Re: Bob, please consider a PBC for Larry, posted by Zo on August 8, 2003, at 0:04:32
Puhlease folks...
I was talking to a co-worker about the problem of disciplining step-children. Her reply "When they are in MY house, they abide by MY rules."
We're in Dr. Bob's house.
Something I tell my son all the time. "If you didn't pay for it, don't complain about it."
This is a free service. No one pays to be on here and expects to get their money's worth.
Yet he nicely provides a forum for us to b*tch about his "ADMINISTRATION".
This is too much. LOL
KDi in Texas
Posted by SLS on August 9, 2003, at 15:27:33
In reply to Re: Bob, please consider a PBC for Larry » Zo, posted by KimberlyDi on August 9, 2003, at 15:06:13
> Yet he nicely provides a forum for us to b*tch about his "ADMINISTRATION".
So, what is the final word on the use of strategically placed asterisks (or any other place-holder)? Are the words "b*tch" and "*ss" and f*ck to be permitted? Judgment call?
(This is not meant to be comment on KimberlyDi's post).
- Scott
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 10, 2003, at 10:39:31
In reply to Re: Bob, please consider a PBC for Larry, posted by SLS on August 9, 2003, at 15:27:33
> So, what is the final word on the use of strategically placed asterisks (or any other place-holder)? Are the words "b*tch" and "*ss" and f*ck to be permitted? Judgment call?
These kinds of things are rarely final, but for now, anyway, I'm inclined to permit them. But I'm open to input. Or at least trying to be...
Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 10, 2003, at 10:41:55
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » Dr. Bob, posted by Larry Hoover on August 9, 2003, at 7:53:25
Posted by zenhussy on August 12, 2003, at 14:42:08
In reply to Hey Doc Bob, remember me... a few ??'s..., posted by kid a on August 4, 2003, at 14:19:07
Wow the old kid_a in the flesh. A regular old timer. What thought provoking things you bring up in your post. I am sorry to see you dismissed so readily.
I eagerly await your return. Until then take care and know you've been missed on this board by many a stranger.
zenhussy
Posted by stjames on August 14, 2003, at 11:39:15
In reply to Re: Hey Doc Bob, remember me... a few ??'s... » kid a, posted by zenhussy on August 12, 2003, at 14:42:08
> Wow the old kid_a in the flesh.
I think they were different people.
Posted by stjames on August 14, 2003, at 12:16:39
In reply to Re: Hey Doc Bob, remember me... a few ??'s..., posted by stjames on August 14, 2003, at 11:39:15
Kid a vs kid_a, so they are not the same.
Posted by KimberlyDi on August 14, 2003, at 13:02:26
In reply to Re: Bob, please consider a PBC for Larry, posted by SLS on August 9, 2003, at 15:27:33
Sorry, didn't realize the issue was being reviewed. I'll be more careful. I rephrased. :)
> > Yet he nicely provides a forum for us to complain about his "ADMINISTRATION".
>
> So, what is the final word on the use of strategically placed asterisks (or any other place-holder)? Are the words "b*tch" and "*ss" and f*ck to be permitted? Judgment call?
>
> (This is not meant to be comment on KimberlyDi's post).
>
>
> - Scott
>
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 14, 2003, at 19:17:30
In reply to Re: Hey Doc Bob, remember me... a few ??'s..., posted by stjames on August 14, 2003, at 12:16:39
> Kid a vs kid_a, so they are not the same.
Actually, the server treats them the same, because otherwise I think it could get (even more) confusing.
People had some fun with this before, do you remember that?
Bob
Posted by zenhussy on August 14, 2003, at 20:42:02
In reply to Re: the same, posted by Dr. Bob on August 14, 2003, at 19:17:30
> > Kid a vs kid_a, so they are not the same.
>
> Actually, the server treats them the same, because otherwise I think it could get (even more) confusing.
>
> People had some fun with this before, do you remember that?
>
> BobDo you mean silly fun like when Tabitha was using her fancy characters (that was always fun to see what new things she was coming up with) when posting
or the malicious fun of one singular poster using two different posting names AT the same time?
zh
Posted by CamW. on August 29, 2003, at 0:59:50
In reply to Re: and where would Zo's learning take place? » Larry Hoover, posted by zenhussy on August 9, 2003, at 11:04:11
"Like stjames I too am offended at my spelling or grammar being corrected here."
ZH - Um, being the grammarian that I am, I don't think you can end a sentence with "here". I can't remember why, but I remember it being circled in red ink on some papers I wrote in university.
;^P
Love - Cam (sorry darlin', couldn't resist ....)
This is the end of the thread.
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