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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 16 to 40 of 40. Go back in thread:
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 9, 2002, at 14:55:43
In reply to Re: SWEARING - as usual..Wendy-Krazy Kat, posted by Phil on May 9, 2002, at 12:51:59
1. my original response was:
"'tis a good question. to be honest, i still don't know the answer. certain swears seem to be o.k., and using ***'s seem to be o.k. if you're not directing them at anyone in particular."I don't believe in ever directing a swear at someone in particular.
2. reread Wendy's post - the whole thing has a decidely humorous ring to it.
again, very sorry to have hurt your feelings. certainly not my intention.
maybe you do need to take some time off, phil. but if you're in a "bad state", as i took from your post, please be straightforward with us, or others you are more comfortable with here, so we can help.
-kk
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 9, 2002, at 15:00:29
In reply to Re: SWEARING - as usual..Wendy-Krazy Kat, posted by Phil on May 9, 2002, at 12:51:59
to be honest my mind is still staggering from your reply.
do you think i should just refrain from trying to joke with you as well? i feel at times as if we connect, but then i seem to make you angry.
such as, i responded to your comment re: things being black and white in this post:
"my cats are... ;) they look like dairy cows. mew!!"
I thought that was funny and remembered that you had meowed at times in your posts. was that offensive in any way?
I'm confused about your responses and apologize for causing you any pain/anger.
- kk
Posted by Phil on May 9, 2002, at 15:29:13
In reply to sorry, phil, just one more thing..., posted by Krazy Kat on May 9, 2002, at 15:00:29
Hey, I read it the way I read it. I don't know Wendy and I don't like my name used in that example. I can't believe anyone would.
Do I take it too personally, probably. But you can't assume when someone uses your name like that that their kidding. If I knew who she was it would be different but I really don't know that much about her.
Don't sweat it, KK. And yes, I'm doing fine. Sometimes I'm funny and sometimes, if I think someone is pushing my buttons, I push back. It doesn't mean I've lost my mind.No harm done
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 9, 2002, at 15:48:52
In reply to Re: sorry, phil, just one more thing..., posted by Phil on May 9, 2002, at 15:29:13
were all good. but i think i better refrain from posting to you for awhile. i do not understand your boundaries and your anger scares me sometimes.
i hope you can work on it a little(i don't mean that in a demeaning way at all), but it seems to be coming through more and more here. i'm not sure that this is the right forum to vent it.
take care.
- kk
Posted by Ron Hill on May 9, 2002, at 17:50:56
In reply to phil, i'm glad you understand my intentions..., posted by Krazy Kat on May 9, 2002, at 15:48:52
> were all good. but i think i better refrain from posting to you for awhile. i do not understand your boundaries and your anger scares me sometimes. i hope you can work on it a little(i don't mean that in a demeaning way at all), but it seems to be coming through more and more here. i'm not sure that this is the right forum to vent it.
---------------KK,
With all due respect, I did not consider Phil's posts in this thread to be "venting". Instead, Phil was responding directly to the issue of Wendy using his name in a derogatory manner.
When I initially read Wendy's post, I assumed that she and Phil are very close friends and that Wendy was just giving her friend a hard time. However, based on Phil's response, it is clear that he did not receive it in that vein.
Best Wishes,
-- Ron
Posted by lou pilder on May 9, 2002, at 18:57:48
In reply to Re: phil, i'm glad you understand my intentions... » Krazy Kat, posted by Ron Hill on May 9, 2002, at 17:50:56
Ron Hill;
I agree with your observation. But Phil has forgiven KK , for he says, "no harm done". but your observation was needed in order to give closure to this mattter.
Best,
Lou
Posted by Phil on May 9, 2002, at 19:38:15
In reply to Re: phil, i'm glad you understand my intentions... » Ron Hill, posted by lou pilder on May 9, 2002, at 18:57:48
You know, I never intentionally hurt people on this board. I've gotten angry lately but, in a way, I'm proud that I can speak on my behalf.
I don't hold a grudge; Jay and I had some heated disagreements on this board at the same time we were talking on PB. I think we just knew that it was cool.
I've never, that I remember, had exchanges with people like I have lately. But I've never seen posts like I've seen lately.
It's better to not respond but it's hard not to respond when it feels personal.
If KK and Wendy were here right now, I'm sure we could have fun as we learned where the other is coming from.
Maybe I'm missing something but I don't think so. It's important to put behind us but if people think that kind of post won't upset another, they need to try to understand.
If you read KK's post then mine, then hers, how could I not be angry and then I am basically told I have an anger problem.
Krazy Kat, I know you care for me and I care for you. I don't want to hurt you or anyone else.I really don't want to argue my point. To me, it was mean-spirited. That's how I felt and I won't apologize for it.
But it's in the history book. Again, no harm done; it's over.
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 9, 2002, at 19:56:50
In reply to Re: phil, i'm glad you understand my intentions... » Krazy Kat, posted by Ron Hill on May 9, 2002, at 17:50:56
a series of posts from the last month or so.
phil's comment that my post was "childish", or such, was extremely hurtful, as was his comment re: sar. how can one not take those personally as well? why didn't he ask me if my intention was what he thought it was instead of jumping to conclusions? why am i saying i'm sorry, and phil's not?
why am i supposed to take phil's anger, directed AT ME, when that's supposed to be a "no, no"?
I don't know what else to do...
- kk
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 9, 2002, at 20:05:59
In reply to Re: phil, i'm glad you understand my intentions..., posted by Phil on May 9, 2002, at 19:38:15
i think i'm as clear as possible, as open as possible, and as thoughtful as possible, and i get hit in the gut.
you've made me cry twice tonight, phil. thanks. please stay away from my posts in the future.
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 9, 2002, at 20:42:12
In reply to Re: phil, i'm glad you understand my intentions... » Ron Hill, posted by lou pilder on May 9, 2002, at 18:57:48
i didn't do anything wrong.
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 9, 2002, at 20:46:41
In reply to forgiven me????? » lou pilder, posted by Krazy Kat on May 9, 2002, at 20:42:12
phil:
you wrote this as reference to your anger. i never said that. in fact, i was very careful to say something like "as I took it" from your post which said:
"We all have weaknesses and you can't always judge by their posts what their real state of mind is."
I was afraid that you were referring to yourself.
i meant all of this in a straightforward and literal way. again, i'd appreciate it if you don't respond to my posts for awhile.
take care.
- kk
Posted by Angel Girl on May 9, 2002, at 20:59:52
In reply to it doesn't mean i'm losing my mind... -- phil, posted by Krazy Kat on May 9, 2002, at 20:46:41
I guess being a newbie here and not in good spirits i should not have asked this question about swearing. It was never my intention for people's feelings to get hurt. I seem to cause havoc wherever I go. :(
Please accept my apologies. <hugs to all>
Fallen Angel
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 9, 2002, at 21:10:59
In reply to Re: SWEARING -- everybody pls read!, posted by Angel Girl on May 9, 2002, at 20:59:52
sweetie:
you didn't do anything wrong. it was a good ? imho. ignore us.
- kk
Posted by Angel Girl on May 9, 2002, at 21:18:18
In reply to Re: SWEARING -- everybody pls read! » Angel Girl, posted by Krazy Kat on May 9, 2002, at 21:10:59
> sweetie:
>
> you didn't do anything wrong. it was a good ? imho. ignore us.
>
> - kk
I can't ignore any of you. This is the only place I feel that I can fit into society. I have nowhere else to go.Fallen Angel
Posted by wendy b. on May 9, 2002, at 22:54:43
In reply to Re: SWEARING - as usual..Wendy-Krazy Kat, posted by Phil on May 9, 2002, at 12:51:59
> if the swearing is directed at a particular person (as in - "Phil, you f***ing moron!"), etc
> ________________________
>
> KK, I guess that's one part you found funny?
>
> Wendy, Don't ever post anything like that to me again. It wasn't necessary. That's my nice response. Please, nobody on this board deserves that kind of hatefullness. KK, Do you really think that's funny? How about posting that to sar 2 days before she died? Would you be laughing in three days. We all have weaknesses and you can't always judge by their posts what their real state of mind is.
> Your post was childish, narrow minded, and ignorant.
>
> Phil
My goodness, I stay away from the board for a few hours, and look what's happened in such a short time.Thanks, Phil, but what the ( ) are you talking about? We are not 'friends,' in the strict sense of the word, but we have exchanged messages here, I've joked with you before (stupidly asking you to marry me! even), talked to you about the llama and the cat. It's not like we're total strangers. And you have never responded in such a way. Nor have you ever told me to leave you alone, so I guess I assumed the wrong thing (that you were a funny, mellow kind of guy).
Since I am no monster, and since I have never been accused of saying anything anywhere approaching "hatefull," "childish," "narrow-mined," nor "ignorant" (neither in the real world nor on this forum), I uphold my original post. It's funny and ironic, and of course we know now you don't see that. So I'm trying to make that clear. And you have to agree, it does underline the fact that we should definitely NOT swear in the direction of a particular person. Since I meant you no harm, and the post has - obvious to some - humor in it, I don't feel badly about myself, nor my intentions.
Really, Phil, it's ok for you to tease other people. But I should not try to, I understand that now. Humor is YOUR bag. So when I poke you in the ribs, for no reason except that you do it to others and thought you could get as easily as you give, I'm some kind of satanic bitch from hell - oops, there I go again... But my fault for making assumptions about you. And I am sorry that you took it so very far in the opposite direction from what I meant and from the spirit in which it was expressed.
"This should be a lesson to us all. Swearing IS wrong and bad." The Catholics win! (it's ok, whomever is still reading this boring exchange, I am a Catholic.)
Don't worry, Phil, I won't ever post messages to you or refer to you again. Nor shall I take thy name in vain.
Yeesh.
Wendy
Posted by wendy b. on May 9, 2002, at 23:02:09
In reply to Re: SWEARING -- everybody pls read!, posted by Angel Girl on May 9, 2002, at 20:59:52
> I guess being a newbie here and not in good spirits i should not have asked this question about swearing. It was never my intention for people's feelings to get hurt. I seem to cause havoc wherever I go. :(
>
> Please accept my apologies. <hugs to all>
>
> Fallen AngelFallen Angel,
I'm sorry, tried to write something humorous, and it got taken the wrong wrong way. This has nothing to do with you, nor anything you said or posted about. The kids have been let out of the playpen, and that includes ME most of all, I guess!
What a storm! Anyway, we're still very much here for you and anything you might want to discuss. I wish the conversation about swearing had not taken the turn it did. I club myself with a large tree-branch... Sorry.
Wendy
Posted by Zo on May 10, 2002, at 1:19:07
In reply to Re: SWEARING - as usual..Wendy-Krazy Kat » Phil, posted by wendy b. on May 9, 2002, at 22:54:43
Posted by Ron Hill on May 10, 2002, at 1:46:55
In reply to Re: A big fight and I missed it? Damn. (nm), posted by Zo on May 10, 2002, at 1:19:07
Posted by beardedlady on May 10, 2002, at 6:16:56
In reply to Just as well. I stepped in and now I wish I hadn't (nm) » Zo, posted by Ron Hill on May 10, 2002, at 1:46:55
Butting in would be appropos on the day of my colonoscopy.
KK, Phil, Wendy: Not being Phil or in his place, I initially thought Wendy's post was funny. I have done that exchange before, using that as an example (as in, "how would you feel if...?"), the only difference being the folks and I were having a live exchange, and we all knew each other. But I've done that in the classroom, too, and now that I think about it, maybe it made someone uncomfortable.
But KK didn't do anything wrong by laughing at someone's post (and the part that made her laugh was not the part about Phil, obviously, as the post was quite funny when it got past the little introduction). And Wendy didn't mean to hurt Phil; I thought her intentions were pretty obvious, and I assumed you all were each other's regular thread followers (I do remember about the marriage proposal and the llama).
But how a person takes something that's supposed to be funny is not under our control. Still, when we respond to say our feelings were hurt, we can't say, "You hurt my feelings, you childish, inhuman, loser creep." (Not that it's verbatim what Phil said, but it isn't right to return the hurt, especially when the person you think hurt you wasn't even the one who posted the point that hurt you!)
Phil has a right to his feelings. I guess that I wish, for the sake of the three of you and maybe the cheerfulness of the board, he would've directed his comment to Wendy, telling her that the use of him as an example hurt his feelings. It is obvious from his last bunch of posts (regarding spending too much time on the board) that he has been feeling out of sorts. And from his comments (I think I remember this) about being an overly sensitive person, maybe being the object of even light-hearted fun poking felt like ridicule.
But it's over now, and all's been said. Another good reason to read and reread. (That's why it takes me twenty minutes to try and say what I mean so that I'm not misunderstood. I keep reading and changing before hitting the confirm button. And MOST OF THE TIME, I change my mind about posting at all.
I started to write this post midday yesterday, but I changed my mind and decided to butt out. Then I saw Ron's post and thought it was something totally different from what I would have said; still, I didn't post.
But now that the colyte has worked, and all the s**t is out of me, I am ready to bear my colon to the world.
In the words of the terrific cook but, alas, possible pedophile, Jeff Smith, a.k.a. The Frugal Gourmet, "I bid you peace."
Posted by Phil on May 10, 2002, at 6:47:40
In reply to Stepping in it. Butting in., posted by beardedlady on May 10, 2002, at 6:16:56
I'll be at the old timers board playing domino's.
This board, my reaction to the posts, gets me in trouble.
I see what Wendy and KK are saying but it's hard to tell when someone is joking or joking along with a little anger.
I'll go with the majority and apologize to Wendy And Krazy cat(Loco Gato?). I'm sorry that I misunderstood and I really don't want to hurt others here. I have tried to let this go in my posts but I obviously hurt you guys and I am sorry.On a side note, everytime I get into hot water here, it's because I post almost as soon as I wake up. I'm taking Adderall and coffee and maybe try to read into posts too much. I tend to do that in real relationships. That's why I'm approaching 50 and single. Well, whatever.
Wonder if Dr. Bob can block me from this board only??My apologies (sincere) to all. I've got to go refill my 1 liter coffee mug. I'm down to two cups a day.
Siezure,
Phil
Posted by beardedlady on May 10, 2002, at 7:48:58
In reply to Re: If anyone needs me, posted by Phil on May 10, 2002, at 6:47:40
Phil,
You are a mensch.
People don't bother when they don't care, so people obviously care about you (and I think you care about us). Please stay with us on these boards, too. Misunderstandings are allowed. World leaders would turn them into wars, but we smart people simply allow them to strengthen our relationships.
Joining you for a cup o' joe in just a moment, but mine, alas, is decaf.
With admiration and respect,
beardy : )>
Posted by Phil on May 10, 2002, at 18:24:29
In reply to Re: If anyone needs me » Phil, posted by beardedlady on May 10, 2002, at 7:48:58
Thanks for the kind words. I do care about this board and the people. If I stay away from PBA, everyday is a happy day.
As far as admiration and respect(I was going to belittle myself). I will just say thank you.
You are great for this board. Feel like I've known you before.
What is a good book on punctuation? Really.
Posted by beardedlady on May 11, 2002, at 4:13:19
In reply to Re: If anyone needs me}}bearded one, posted by Phil on May 10, 2002, at 18:24:29
Posted by Zo on May 11, 2002, at 17:20:39
In reply to Re: If anyone needs me}}bearded one, posted by Phil on May 10, 2002, at 18:24:29
Posted by Phil on May 11, 2002, at 19:03:01
In reply to Re: Promise you'll be on Social? (nm) » Phil, posted by Zo on May 11, 2002, at 17:20:39
I don't know at what point in my life I formed opinions. Used to have none, had to make up something.
This is the end of the thread.
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