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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Fivefires on September 12, 2007, at 19:45:48
The sun is going to set. I'm going to have to deal w/ that guy that keeps texting and calling me. I'm not hungry. I'm weepy. I feel like taking double dose of Abilify which would equal 10mg.
Pretty soon all of you will go offline and then I'm left over here in the west all by myself.
It sux you're all over there and I'm here alone.
I'm tired and I haven't done much at all today.
I miss the man I made leave me.
5f
Posted by Fivefires on September 12, 2007, at 23:30:29
In reply to Okay I'm starting to get scared again already, posted by Fivefires on September 12, 2007, at 19:45:48
Feel the heartache creeping welling up inside me and the feeling I need to cry.
I'm sorry if posting here on med line was incorrect.
It maybe should have been on social or relationships.
But then, I'm also wondering if I've reached a tolerance level w/ only 5mg of Abilify, as well, so kind of needed a 'miscellaneous board' and we don't have one of those do we?
Can't sleep, can't eat, I'm in deep.
The good parts of the relationship are at the forefront of my thoughts because they were really wonderful. But, the bad parts were pretty bad and if I could just focus on these instead, maybe I could move on. Do I need to angry? Too late. Can only contact him by mail. I know I'm angry as well as sad.
Ohhhhhh, this could be another one of those long heartaches I'e experienced in the past, but if I could get some feedback from any1 of you, maybe it would move me in the right direction.
I wish I had more strength in my mind than in my heart. I wish my heart was not so sensitive. More than anything I wish he'd chosen me insted of his mother and dr*gs. Guess this is one of those 'not good enough' situations.
I hear those songs about 'can't live if living is w/o you' and just start crying. Oh, it hurts.
Then out of the blue, there will be a glimmer of a thing he did which was so telltale of his 'sneakiness', but the glimmer doesn't stick.
5f
Posted by Phillipa on September 12, 2007, at 23:36:29
In reply to Re: Okay I'm starting to get scared again already, posted by Fivefires on September 12, 2007, at 23:30:29
FF I know it does hurt. Just let the tears come they are healing don't cover the pain with a med this is emotional and healing is a natural med the tears that is. And when you see the doc tomorrow ask about the meds okay? Love Phillipa
Posted by Fivefires on September 13, 2007, at 0:24:47
In reply to Re: Okay I'm starting to get scared again already » Fivefires, posted by Phillipa on September 12, 2007, at 23:36:29
> FF I know it does hurt. Just let the tears come>
But I'll get these like 'water-filled' bags under my eyes
>they are healing>
And the girl downstairs who doesn't like me might make fun of me if she hears me.
don't cover the pain with a med.
Why not?
this is emotional and healing is a natural med the tears that is.
Think so?
And when you see the doc tomorrow ask about the meds okay?
It's too hard to discuss psych meds w/ him as he always says well maybe you'd be better if we'd cut back the pain meds or ru ready to quit them and stuff like this.
This feels very close to the same as my first love and my 3rd husband, maybe more. Yeah, I think I've loved the lovable things about this man more than any man before. There's something about him. If I could just keep my mind focused on the bad v. the good w/ this sig-other, I might make some progress. I've come undone these past few days. Still think developed a tolerance to Abilify already. Think I posted about it.
Love Phillipa
U2, 5f
Posted by Fivefires on September 13, 2007, at 0:26:22
In reply to Re: Okay I'm starting to get scared again already, posted by Fivefires on September 13, 2007, at 0:24:47
I apologize for typing over the < > to separate the remarks and the replies, in prior post. Hope not too confusing.
Sorry, 5f
Posted by shasling on September 13, 2007, at 6:46:21
In reply to Okay I'm starting to get scared again already, posted by Fivefires on September 12, 2007, at 19:45:48
Ugh I feel for you 5f. Thats a horrible, lonely feeling. Cant make it better, but know that I know what you mean and I'm thinking of you. hugs
Posted by Fivefires on September 13, 2007, at 10:47:11
In reply to Re: Okay I'm starting to get scared again already, posted by shasling on September 13, 2007, at 6:46:21
So good to hear from you.
My Soma didn't work too well last night. I've been taking my Abilify at h.s. (hour of sleep) too. Not sure correct.
Did call and leave message w/ pdoc. Off to PCP this morning.
Tks for hanging in here w/ me you all. This really is awful. I met him as I was in the midst of my divorce, soooo this has a funky two-guy feeling.
I don't know what I'd do w/o your support. Just talking to you about it has been helping sooo much!
loveuguys, 5f
Posted by rskontos on September 14, 2007, at 15:37:45
In reply to Re: Okay I'm starting to get scared again already, posted by Fivefires on September 13, 2007, at 10:47:11
5f, I am sorry too that you having a tough time. Love and loss is tough especially when you are in the shape we are all in. I wish I could give you a hug too. We are here for you. RK
Posted by Fivefires on September 18, 2007, at 13:32:58
In reply to Re: Okay I'm starting to get scared again already, posted by rskontos on September 14, 2007, at 15:37:45
And I think this, your being here for me, is the reason, 'I'm here still'. This isn't good to say but it could very well be true.
I never thought I'd risk my privacy this way, ya' know? Things i say here will here for a long time. People I know and love may read them, be angry, hurt, confused, or surprised.
But, I don't care, because this is 'my life' and I have to use every tool available to me.
Now I'm not rich and I'm not manic, so getting out and socializing, or becoming involved in something new all by myself is really hard for me, now. (It didn't used to be.) I think having behavioral health problems(?) and, aging, and maybe not seeing any real improvement, make me think things will never change and I become 2 complacent. Not what want for self; never much of a pacifi*t or wallflower and not comfortable there.
There is more I could do for myself if I didn't have financial restraints. This isn't an excuse. It is true. I see a lot of alternatives I can't afford.
Just this morn' I lost track of time and missed an appt. How will I return to work if I am missing appts midday to do something I enjoy?? I've been ramping up my resume and getting ready to search, but I'm not sure able.
So, this communication is about as close as I can get to bettering myself at this time.
I did just put in a call to my pdoc front office staff re: samples so best get offline. (I can't afford DSL!)
tks rk, 5f
Posted by Tennisplayer on September 18, 2007, at 23:49:56
In reply to Re: Okay I'm starting to get scared again already, posted by rskontos on September 14, 2007, at 15:37:45
We are out here, and feeling some of the same things you are. Sorry you are way in the west. I am in Tennessee, but stay up really late a lot of early mornings. You are right about financial limitations definitely making it harder to get new relationships going. It is not an excuse. It is the truth. I am trying to get myself back to work part time because I think it will be good for me, but I also have some problems making that work. Hope I actually do it and just don't talk about it. As far as bettering yourself, not to sound too clichey, but you don't need to better yourself--look at the fantastic person you are right now--even tho you have some faults, etc.--you are exactly the way you should be--just let other people see the real you and get out there with them. That's my belief anyway. Pardon me if I misread your meaning about becoming a better person. hang in there. Tennisplayer
This is the end of the thread.
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