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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kerry B on June 26, 2000, at 23:32:00
I am having a terrible time handling this illness with it's ups and downs that sometimes I don't know who I am anymore!!!!!! The highs are great but the lows are too much!!!!! I am on a plateau at the moment due to new medication but I don't like this feeling!!!!!
Posted by Rick E. on June 26, 2000, at 23:42:49
In reply to I can't handle being schizoaffective, posted by kerry B on June 26, 2000, at 23:32:00
> I am having a terrible time handling this illness with it's ups and downs that sometimes I don't know who I am anymore!!!!!! The highs are great but the lows are too much!!!!! I am on a plateau at the moment due to new medication but I don't like this feeling!!!!!
Hold on tight...try to relax ( I know, you are laughing right now)...and give the meds time to work...and stay in close contact with your doctor...let him know exactly what you are feeling...if it is too much for you, there are alternatives and medications...you don't have to suffer.I wish you the best of luck and health...
Rick E.
PS> Also, don't ever forget, that no matter how wacked out the meds can make you feel at times, you are still in there somewhere...ya just need to let the meds take their course...and take care of yourself...treat yourself and your body well...and everything will work out...
Posted by kerry B on June 27, 2000, at 18:57:55
In reply to Re: I can't handle being schizoaffective, posted by Rick E. on June 26, 2000, at 23:42:49
Thanks Rick,
Good to know someone understands. As for my doctor, he didn't seem to care at all! I had written out like a journal each day to record all that I was feeling but he disregarded it and that sent me over the edge even more. You just get to the point where you close yourself off and try to make it the best you can, it's hard to describe. I can't change my doctor as I am going through the area health so I just have to put up with it.
The worst part is the valium, I think. I feel really frustrated as it slows me down but my insides want to go! Like you said though, it will get better I guess. One day anyway. It's just horrible not being able to understand yourself when all along before this illness happened, I thought I was in total control of my life. Now, it's all been blown apart!
Anyway, thanks again for your advice. Much appreciated. It feels like a lonely world I'm in at the moment!!!! Thanks!!!!!
Posted by Rick E. on June 28, 2000, at 10:21:31
In reply to Re: I can't handle being schizoaffective » Rick E., posted by kerry B on June 27, 2000, at 18:57:55
>
> Thanks Rick,
> Good to know someone understands. As for my doctor, he didn't seem to care at all! I had written out like a journal each day to record all that I was feeling but he disregarded it and that sent me over the edge even more. You just get to the point where you close yourself off and try to make it the best you can, it's hard to describe. I can't change my doctor as I am going through the area health so I just have to put up with it.
> The worst part is the valium, I think. I feel really frustrated as it slows me down but my insides want to go! Like you said though, it will get better I guess. One day anyway. It's just horrible not being able to understand yourself when all along before this illness happened, I thought I was in total control of my life. Now, it's all been blown apart!
> Anyway, thanks again for your advice. Much appreciated. It feels like a lonely world I'm in at the moment!!!! Thanks!!!!!
Kerry,Maybe it won't do any good, but maybe you could try telling your doctor how you feel...not just physically, but emotionally about your relationship with him/her. I suppose some doctors will not respond to that type of conversation, but your doctor IS human after all, and maybe he/she needs to better understand your needs, and unfortunately, many doctors seem to be too busy to address this.
I know what feeling alone in all this feels like...even having this board is a big help to me, and I would guess most of the people here. One thing I have found personally, is that it's good to post here, and get feedback, but jumping out on the net looking for info on conditions and meds can actually CAUSE alot of unnecessary anxiety. As I said before, try to give your meds time to work, and try, as best you can, to live your life as normal as possible, tell yourself that what you are feeling is temporary...and put up a little fight for "feeling normal" again. May not work for you...but it helps me to keep going. I wish the best for you.
Rick E
Posted by noa on June 28, 2000, at 18:24:55
In reply to Re: I can't handle being schizoaffective » Rick E., posted by kerry B on June 27, 2000, at 18:57:55
Kerry, what meds are you taking? For how long? Any previous meds tried?
Are you in therapy--individual or group?
Posted by kerry B on June 28, 2000, at 22:25:54
In reply to Re: I can't handle being schizoaffective, posted by noa on June 28, 2000, at 18:24:55
> Kerry, what meds are you taking? For how long? Any previous meds tried?
>
> Are you in therapy--individual or group?Hi noa
They have me once again on stelazine, lithium & valium. I came down with this illness a couple of years ago but just can't cope. I go ok for a few months then bang I lose it all over again. I have been in mental institutions many times because of this and am going through another bout of mood disorders so much so they frighten me as well as the psychosis. They want me to begin psycho therapy soon but have not as yet contacted me about it so I am feeling pretty lonely!!! I isolate myself at home because I hate going out, people stare all the time and it's not pleasant. So that's where I stand at the moment. Thanks!!!! p.s I hope I am doing this follow up right, I am new to this!!!!
Posted by noa on June 29, 2000, at 8:38:10
In reply to Re: I can't handle being schizoaffective » noa, posted by kerry B on June 28, 2000, at 22:25:54
Do you have any support systems?
Had you tried any other meds before stelazine, and did they help?
If they haven't called you, could you call them?
I am glad you are posting here for support. You are really struggling and deserve the support. Keep us posted.
Posted by kerry B on June 29, 2000, at 17:45:11
In reply to Re: I can't handle being schizoaffective, posted by noa on June 29, 2000, at 8:38:10
> Do you have any support systems?
>
> Had you tried any other meds before stelazine, and did they help?
>
> If they haven't called you, could you call them?
>
> I am glad you are posting here for support. You are really struggling and deserve the support. Keep us posted.hi again noa,
Thanks so much for your support! I need it at this time.I am sitting here alone now, my kids and husband have gone to school and work which is the way I like it. My husband gets angry with me, he tries to help and understand but it's hard for him because I always abuse him and I don't know I'm doing it. As for the kids, the older one, 10, has had a really hard time because of me. I guess I've ruined his childhood dreams of being a happy normal family, my daughter, 8, is oblivious to it all I think. I have been on so many meds I can't recall them all but a lot of them gave me serious side effects so that is why they have put me on stelazine again, that also has effects that I find hard to handle but what else is there to do? I will ring the health team and find out about this appointment they are supposed to be getting for me. Yes, I will definately do it! I wake up each morning feeling like I want to be sick from the anticipation of what the day will bring. I'm afaid the phone will ring or someone will come to the door, it's horrible!!!!! I wish it would all go away and I was once again like I used to be, fun loving and enjoying life and people but I guess that's gone for ever. Sorry, I have rattled off enough but it's good to talk about it as I can't really tell anyone else. Some people know about me but they keep it hush hush when they see me, I guess they feel uncomfortable around me. Oh well, I have myself and if it wasn't for this site, I would feel totally abandoned, I don't even know how I found it but I'm glad I did!!!! Thanks noa!!!!! Bye for now..............
Posted by Abby on June 29, 2000, at 19:47:35
In reply to Re: I can't handle being schizoaffective » noa, posted by kerry B on June 29, 2000, at 17:45:11
My husband gets angry with me, he tries to help and understand but it's hard for him because I always abuse him and I don't know I'm doing it. As for the kids, the older one, 10, has had a really hard time because of me. I guess I've ruined his childhood dreams of being a happy normal family, my daughter, 8, is oblivious to it all I think.
Kerry--I'm sorry that things are so hard for you. Please tell us more about your medication and diagnostic history. What you said about your family really struck me, because I can't say that it isn't very hard for your kids. My mother is probably schizoaffective, and growing up was extraordinarily difficult, but there are some positive things I see in your message.1.) First and foremost, you are aware of your illness and the need for treatment. You don't want to change your whole family.
2.) You are able to consider the needs and feelings of others. Don't feel too guilty while you're trying to get your meds in order, but worrying/considering how one's own actions will affect others is an important aspect of leading a full, adult life.
So, when you're ready, fill us in on all the information Noa was talking about.
When did your symptoms first appear, and how were you diagnosed? What medications have you taken and for how long? What was your response? You mentioned side effects. What were they?
Take care,
Abby
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