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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by shar on July 21, 2005, at 1:24:41
Gracie "passed away" July 27, 2003. Her last email to me (about her divorce) was July 21, 2003. She did not sound suicidal, she sounded mad as h*ll!!
Oh well, here's to her memory.
I tried to post on grief, but it never showed up. My suspicion (given that she spoke about increasing domestic violence) is that she had 'help.' And, he has the house. But, I have no evidence at all.
Gracie, I do still hope you are in a good place (I'm sure you are), and think of you daily.
xoxoxoxoxo
Shar
Posted by Racer on July 21, 2005, at 21:56:37
In reply to Anybody remember Gracie?, posted by shar on July 21, 2005, at 1:24:41
I was just thinking about her, after the implosion over at Admin, when "so" kept referring to the multiple suicides of posters here at this site. I know SAR suicided, and we've had a few attempts -- and then there's Gracie.
I hope that she didn't, because I would rather think of her as still trying, still struggling to make her life better. I hope that she didn't suffer, whatever happened, and that if she did have help, he didn't get away with it.
It's nice of you to bring this up, Shar. I hope that people who care about me will keep my memory alive when I'm gone, too.
Posted by shar on July 21, 2005, at 23:42:50
In reply to Yes. » shar, posted by Racer on July 21, 2005, at 21:56:37
You can bet when you're gone, I will most definitely keep your memory alive!
xoxo
Shar
Posted by Nikkit2 on July 22, 2005, at 7:11:32
In reply to Yes. » shar, posted by Racer on July 21, 2005, at 21:56:37
You young lady are goin NO WHERE!!!
Who would be my cheer leader then? Its not a job PC can do alone!!!
Nikki xx
Posted by Nikkit2 on July 22, 2005, at 7:12:17
In reply to Anybody remember Gracie?, posted by shar on July 21, 2005, at 1:24:41
I think the lack of closure is hard.. the not knowing how or why..
There must be a way we can find out from local records.. do you know her full name and the area she lived in?
Nikki x
Posted by Racer on July 22, 2005, at 7:58:37
In reply to Re: Anybody remember Gracie? » shar, posted by Nikkit2 on July 22, 2005, at 7:12:17
> I think the lack of closure is hard.. the not knowing how or why..
>
> There must be a way we can find out from local records.. do you know her full name and the area she lived in?
>
> Nikki xI think Shar already did look into it. I know that she found the obits in the local papers, but they didn't say anything about cause. If it was suicide, they may have been being respectful -- but some of what her family wrote sounded like, um, she maybe didn't suicide. Like maybe she had help. I don't think Shar was able to find out for sure, though.
You're right, though, about not knowing making it harder on us. I wish there was a way to find out.
And as for me going anywhere -- other than London, that is -- I'll drive extra careful and keep what you say in mind. Shar's convinced me that I can't help myself out -- and right now I don't want to go, anyway -- so it's only that Phantom Truck that I have to watch out for.
Posted by shar on July 25, 2005, at 0:12:06
In reply to Re: Anybody remember Gracie? » Nikkit2, posted by Racer on July 22, 2005, at 7:58:37
Phantom trucks. What a concept. Put a smile on my face.
I think we've gone about as far as we can trying to figure this this thing out...what happened to Gracie. We have the obit, and I've written to her mom without response, and ... we, well, not being in St. Louis (nor being able to afford a private det.), are sort of stumped. But...I do know within 6 days she went from p*ssed as h*ll at the soon-2-b ex, to dead.
That makes no sense to me. And, the ex-2-b had close ties to the police, because he worked for EMS. And, in her emails to me, talked about him getting more violent.
But, I don't know anyone from St. Louis who could get me her obit (the one we bought did not have her picture), just a copy of the printed format from that day.
So, that's about all I know. Except for a very deep sense of loss. She was so smart, talented, and very funny....I don't get how she's not here anymore. I miss her so much!
Thanks for all of you who ARE here!!
xoxoxo
Shaar
Posted by shar on July 25, 2005, at 0:20:22
In reply to Re: Anybody remember Gracie? » shar, posted by Nikkit2 on July 22, 2005, at 7:12:17
Yes, I do know those things. And, I know some folks who might be able to hack into systems that contain pertinent information. However...
With the Patriot Act and everything else that Shrub is doing, well...it seems very unlikely that they'd care about HER, but they might care very much about me or someone else snooping around about Gracie's death.
I certainly hope her widower husband gets whatever he deserves....be it riches or...something else.
xoxoxoxo
Shar
Posted by Racer on July 25, 2005, at 1:50:59
In reply to Re: Anybody remember Gracie? » Nikkit2, posted by shar on July 25, 2005, at 0:20:22
>>
> I certainly hope her widower husband gets whatever he deserves....be it riches or...something else.
>
> xoxoxoxo
> SharThis is something that I've mused about, on and off, for years. Since before the man who molested me died, but especially after his death. He was never charged, although he was investigated a couple of times for various girls. You can imagine that I had some feelings of unfinished business, since it seemed as though he died without ever experiencing any unpleasantness, despite what he had done to me, and to others.
I never did figure anything out, although I tried on a number of ideas -- they ranged from a Hell where perpetrators experienced their victims' pain, to the old standby: Life Is Unfair. I don't know.
It would be nice to think that there was some justice, that those brutes would be punished for their crimes, in proportion to their crimes. I don't think that happens. I don't think that it's any sort of punishment to them if we manage to get over what they've done. I don't think that there is any sort of divine justice.
I guess the only thing I've ever come up with is to try to strengthen myself, to unlearn the lessons I learned at his hands, and move on. I think I've given him more than enough time and attention in my life, that even reacting the way he taught me to is more than he deserves.
I'm not sure that really means anything, but it's the closest I can come.
Gracie's ex-to-be? I hope he rots in Hell. I hope that, if he did help her away from life, he is punished in this life. And I wish that all of us here could decide his punishment.
But maybe it's best just to remember Gracie, and celebrate all of our lives?
Shar, I'm glad you're in my life.
(And we all know how chuffed I am about Nikki, right?)
Posted by shar on July 25, 2005, at 23:43:08
In reply to You know... » shar, posted by Racer on July 25, 2005, at 1:50:59
Posted by NikkiT2 on July 27, 2005, at 13:12:27
In reply to Re: Anybody remember Gracie? » Nikkit2, posted by shar on July 25, 2005, at 0:20:22
I've been thinking about this shar.. and as I lack the ability tocome and give you a huge greta hug, practical advise is the best can do..
Obviously, I only know UK law.. but there might be similarities..
If someone here dies unexpectedly (ie, not from a terminal illness), then a post-mortem (autopsy) has to be carried out.. it then goes to to coroners court, and the coroners report from that is something in the public domain and can be asked for by anyone..
So, is there a chance that you could call her local law type place and ask if there is a coroners report in her name?
Hmmmm..
Nikki x
Posted by shar on July 27, 2005, at 23:58:32
In reply to pondering, posted by NikkiT2 on July 27, 2005, at 13:12:27
Thanks, Nik,
Yes, we looked into that. Just recently (well, 2003 or 2004) they passed a law in her state that said folks could NOT get a report of death, or cause of death statement or a death certificate, if they were just regular folks (not "official").I was rather surprised, because here (Texas) it is a matter of public record. Unexpected deaths always require an autopsy, and the findings are available to all.
However, having been married to a policeman at one time, I have some slight idea of how things work. And, having worked for the Great State of Texas for nigh on 20 years...I have a VERY good idea of how things work....as in, well, we don't need to talk about THAT.
That is my understanding of the law in her state. I could be wrong, but my Sweetie is a GREAT researcher, and we came up empty-handed.
Thanks for your concern and interest. It is almost midnight here (11:56 pm) on the day of her death 2 years ago. What an incomprehensible waste.
Damn these disorders! Damn them!
xoxo
Shar
Posted by NikkiT2 on July 28, 2005, at 17:32:49
In reply to Re: pondering » NikkiT2, posted by shar on July 27, 2005, at 23:58:32
I babble mailed you.. I know someone in St Louis area that works for a large newspaper is is willing to see what can be dug up..
Its worth a try isn't it??
Nikki x
Posted by shar on August 3, 2005, at 1:06:12
In reply to Re: pondering » shar, posted by NikkiT2 on July 28, 2005, at 17:32:49
Yes! I would love more info. I have Gracie's 'official' obituary, but I can't find your Babblemail anywhere. We have a little information, but, when we ordered the obit from the paper, it didn't include her photo...which I would love to see. It's always so nice to put a face with a name.
However, I didn't get your Babblemail (although I've gotten others). I have no idea what's going on.
Usually Babblemail comes to my 'main' addy. Maybe I need to revisit my settings.
Thanks so much! It would be so great to find out more of what happened to her.
xoxo
Shar
Posted by shar on August 3, 2005, at 1:41:02
In reply to Re: pondering » NikkiT2, posted by shar on August 3, 2005, at 1:06:12
I found your Babblemail. I typed it all up and was going to proofread it, however, it didn't seem to give me a chance. It just "sent" it. So, if it does not make any sense, let me know.
And Thank YOU!!!!
xoxo
SharP.S. I guess I don't get to keep a copy of my 'sent' B'mails?!?
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 8, 2005, at 1:33:30
In reply to I found your B'mail, posted by shar on August 3, 2005, at 1:41:02
> P.S. I guess I don't get to keep a copy of my 'sent' B'mails?!?
There's now an option, "send a copy to yourself", that you can check...
Bob
Posted by Noa on August 27, 2005, at 16:48:47
In reply to Anybody remember Gracie?, posted by shar on July 21, 2005, at 1:24:41
Yes, I do remember. And I thank you for letting us know last year of the sad news. I've continued to have similar suspicions.
Thanks for remembering the anniversary.
Gracie had spunk. She was getting herself out and into her own new life but I fear not soon enough.
Posted by Noa on August 27, 2005, at 16:53:29
In reply to Re: Anybody remember Gracie? » Nikkit2, posted by shar on July 25, 2005, at 0:20:22
I was just thinking...there is a trend these days on local TV news stations to do stories on "cold cases". I wonder if an inquiry to one of these stations might help get info on what status the police left the case in--was it closed and 'solved'? Unsolved? Maybe a cub reporter would take interest?
Posted by Noa on August 27, 2005, at 16:56:03
In reply to Re: pondering » shar, posted by NikkiT2 on July 28, 2005, at 17:32:49
This sounds promising. Good luck.
This is the end of the thread.
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