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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by NikkiT2 on June 29, 2004, at 8:01:15
It doesn't go back long enough *laughing* I know I posted alot in the run up to my wedding and none of those posts are here anymore.. and I really wanted to see how I was feeling 5 years ago!
18 months ago I had to have nerve conduction tests, and had to take of all jewelry.. due to my awful weight gain I had to have my wedding and engagement ring cut off.. I sulked over being so fat for so long, but yesterday, I picked up my newly repaired engagement ring.. I'm loving wearing it again and keep look at how it sparkles *l* made me want to read all about my wedidng planning *laughing*
When we got engaged the first thing I did was sign up to a UK wedding message board.. and it was a girl there that told me all about Dr Bobs.. I came over.. just the one board in those days.. and the first person who ever replied to a message from me was Noa!!!
Shame that the archives don't go back that far.. I remember rushing into a net cafe in Miami on our honeymoon to post a link to some photos my brother had taken of our wedding!
So.. anyway.. how did YOU find PB?!!
Nikki xx
Posted by Racer on June 29, 2004, at 11:02:24
In reply to Reading old posts thread and how did you find PB?, posted by NikkiT2 on June 29, 2004, at 8:01:15
I found it when that idiot doctor prescribed Serzone for me. She was such a jerk about it -- not answering my questions, etc -- that I came online and looked for information about the drug. When I saw "hypotension" listed as one of the major side effects of the drug, I was scared to take it -- and I was deeply depressed, and you've seen I tend to get more than a bit hysterical when I'm depressed, right? (What, me? Hysterical? Naw...)
Anyway, I had come across a bulletin board about horses, and posted there pretty regularly, so I checked a search engine to see if I could find a bulletin board about anti-depressants and ask others about it. I posted my questions on several of the resulting boards including the original PsychoBabble board. (I kinda already liked PB best, just because I loved the play on words.) The responses on PB were the most informative and supportive, so I stayed.
The responses on some of the other boards, by the way, were very upsetting. I can't remember any specifics, but I do remember a couple of answers that made me cry and there were two or three that came close to convincing me to carry out my suicide plans. I think the only thing that really stopped me was PB -- as much waiting to see What Came Next as anything else. And remember Toby? Toby really seemed to care about everybody, and was so helpful -- that poster's posts were so helpful. (I still feel regret over the part my innocent question played in driving Toby away, too.)
This is a great topic, Nikki. And I gotta tell you: I do remember your wedding plans, and how much I envied you. I would never find anyone who could stand me enough to have dinner with me -- let alone marry me, and you? Bah! Why could everybody else find love and not me? I can't overstate how jealous I was because I was so lonely, so distressed, and so convinced that I was completely unloveable and unlikeable. (Sometimes it's nice to be proved wrong, huh?) I'm so glad to have caught up with you, too, because I think that jealousy may have had a lot to do with why we've really only interacted recently.
Either that or those magic bracelets have the power to deflect jealousy, too? Could that be it, Diana?
Posted by Deb R on June 30, 2004, at 10:45:58
In reply to Reading old posts thread and how did you find PB?, posted by NikkiT2 on June 29, 2004, at 8:01:15
Hi Nikki
Thanks for starting off this thread - I have just gone back and had a look at old posts! Some of the names made me smile with happy remembrances - Bob & Noa of course, dj, St James, Elizabeth, Dove, Cam was always fantastic, Greg, Scott, Todd, Allison, Adam, Janice, Ali, Mark H, CarolAnn, Cass, Racer....the list is incomplete of course...
When I first posted in about August 99 I was searching for information for my Mum, who was in hospital with "Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome" and I was searching for answers. Bob and Noa were earlier respondants to my posts, along with St James and Dove as well. To this day I think I am a little bit in love with Bob because of his kindness to me back then.
Deb.
Posted by Cass on July 6, 2004, at 20:22:07
In reply to Reading old posts thread and how did you find PB?, posted by NikkiT2 on June 29, 2004, at 8:01:15
I had been taking an antidepressant called Meritol that was extremely effective for me. I was looking at the world in a different way. Life seemed full of possibilities and I felt productive. Suddenly the drug was pulled off the market. I was terribly disappointed. So after I got the bad news, I did a web search to find out anything more I could about the drug. One of the search results was from a post here at Psychobabble.
I had never found such a kind and intellegent group of people online before. I still feel very fortunate to have discovered PB. Since I've been away for so long, I've wondered what's happened to some helpful people like St. James and Bob. Do they ever post anymore?
Thanks for the nostalgia.
Posted by Noa on July 16, 2004, at 19:27:00
In reply to Reading old posts thread and how did you find PB?, posted by NikkiT2 on June 29, 2004, at 8:01:15
I'm honored that you remember that I responded to you. I don't remember who responded to me first, I'm sad to say.
I had been reading Dr. Bob's Psychopharmacology tips for a while---I don't know how I found them, but perhaps by searching some medication terms--and one day I noticed the link to PsychoBabble. It had already been going on for at least 6 or 7 months, I think, and I remember thinking--wow, how did I miss this up til now??
It was hard to break in to the discussion at first but it was very informative for me. I can't believe that was 5 years ago already.
Posted by Noa on July 16, 2004, at 19:47:04
In reply to Re: Reading old posts thread and how did you find PB? » NikkiT2, posted by Cass on July 6, 2004, at 20:22:07
Cass, it's nice to 'see' you!
Bob (aka fineline bob) came back just a couple of months ago after a long hiatus. His return post, dated May 8th updated us as follows:
What have I been up to? Let me start back when it matters, since I don't know when I last filled you in.
On September 11th, I was in the subway beneath the WTC when the second plane hit. I got out onto the street a few blocks away .. I used to work three blocks from the Trade Center. I took a bunch of pictures, started walking away looking for a place where I could get a cell phone connection, and saw the towers fall from about a mile away. I made a web page about my day, heard sirens in my head for days, lost my job from the economic fallout ten days later and haven't had a fulltime job since.
My web page made quite a splash, tho. Besides tons of visitors from all around the world: (1) my site was archived by the Library of Congress as part of the historic record, (2) the National Bureau of Standards used my photos in their investigation of how the fires caused the towers to collapse, and (3) the Smithsonian's American History Museum incorporated my site into their memorial exhibit about 9/11. If you haven't seen it: http://wtc.thefineline.org/
A month before, Leyna was born. A month after, I got to take her home. Spoiled b!tch ... well, she **is** a female dog. German Shepherd. Now 80 pounds, and a dx of GAD. Tries to crawl into my lap whenever she gets scared. She's had me as a stay-home daddy almost all of her life, tho, so I don't know what she'll do should I find gainful employment anytime soon! She's too precious for words, so I'll stop there.
Severe PTSD after 9/11, which led me to discover acupuncture. Wonderful stuff. As soon as I can afford it, I'm getting back into it. Other than that, I had enough support through part time work, disaster relief and unemployment to survive NYC until last April, when my lease ran out.
Moved to VA to live with a brother and look for web work in DC. Almost landed a job with the Post -- being 3rd out of 100+ applications was worth a warm fuzzy feeling, but that was all. Otherwise, not much work in my field without a security clearance. Of course, you can't get one on your own ... you have to work for a company that can sponsor you. But then again, companies in that position don't want you unless you already have one. Catch-22.
Had to move out in December, so now I'm back "home" in Michigan, living in my parents' basement. No work whatsoever since November of 2002, no more unemployment since September 03, no money for meds ... I've been enjoying a rather thorough meltdown since I arrived in Michigan.
I should be miserable, but I'm not. =^)
Leyna has a lot to do with that. SBC unlimited long distance and pro bono phone therapy with my T out in NYC does, too. The September 11th Fund paying for my meds and office visits ... so if you or anyone you know donated, thanks from someone still benefitting! Being off my meds for five months, after being on essentially the same cocktail for five years, was an eye-opener. Thankfully, the nortrip works as well, maybe better, than I recall. My pdoc here in MI hasn't even suggested starting on ritalin yet, but I'm still titrating up on the nortrip. As for the klonopin -- another "as needed" prescription. I had to ask him what that means, when I have physiological manifestations of my anxiety 24/7. He said use it for "anticipatory anxiety" for now and do my best to manage the rest without meds. Given how well klonopin works for me, even after 1mg/d for five years straight (can you say "habituation"? I sure as hell canNOT ;^). Getting back on meds definitely stopped the meltdown, tho.
Right before I did, tho, my T said something to me I was terrified of admitting myself. She said, "You must feel like your life is over." I'm 42, jobless and prospectless (I'm in MI, after all), and living in my parents' basement off their retirement funds. On September 10th, 2001 I had my life pulled together better than any other time in life. And I lost all of it. So its not like I wanted to kill myself -- it's just that my life was over.
What do you do when your life is over halfway through the game? (me, off meds)
That's easy -- start a new one! (me, on meds)So, I'm taking a real estate course. Community ed. Twice a week for five weeks, four hours per class, state mandated curriculum. Class of about 15 students. We just had our midterm and, naturally, I had the highest score in class. Come May 20th, I'll pass the final. I can take the state licensing exam on Friday the 21st. Get a broker to sponsor me and I could be selling homes by May 24th.
I figure if I'm going to start a new life, then I need to break with the past. No teaching, no web design or programming. (Yeah right, we'll see how good I stick to that!) But I did the numbers: if I can list one customer's $250k house and help them buy a similar house, I gross 6% of that $250k. If I pull off ONE of those deals every THREE MONTHS, I can make as much money as I ever have in any of my other salaried jobs.
Is that sick, or what?
I think I can work a little harder than that. If I can manage one deal like that per month, next spring I'll be debt-free with enough cash in the bank to head back to NYC, take a month to get my license there, and then start selling Manahattan real estate at their rather outrageous property values and exorbitant fees.
So, after 30 months of doom and gloom, I now appear to be the man with the plan!
well, that's the long and the short of it. good to be back.....Then on June 3rd, I passed along this message from Bob--
Bob says hi to everyone, and wanted me to let you know that he is ok. He is dealing with some "stuff" now but is ok.
Posted by Cass on July 20, 2004, at 0:11:05
In reply to Re: Bob's been around but is taking a break now » Cass, posted by Noa on July 16, 2004, at 19:47:04
Dear Noa,
Thanks for the reply and the update on Bob. What an ordeal he's been through.
I'm so glad you still post here. How are you?
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Script revised: February 4, 2008
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