Posted by Racer on June 29, 2004, at 11:02:24
In reply to Reading old posts thread and how did you find PB?, posted by NikkiT2 on June 29, 2004, at 8:01:15
I found it when that idiot doctor prescribed Serzone for me. She was such a jerk about it -- not answering my questions, etc -- that I came online and looked for information about the drug. When I saw "hypotension" listed as one of the major side effects of the drug, I was scared to take it -- and I was deeply depressed, and you've seen I tend to get more than a bit hysterical when I'm depressed, right? (What, me? Hysterical? Naw...)
Anyway, I had come across a bulletin board about horses, and posted there pretty regularly, so I checked a search engine to see if I could find a bulletin board about anti-depressants and ask others about it. I posted my questions on several of the resulting boards including the original PsychoBabble board. (I kinda already liked PB best, just because I loved the play on words.) The responses on PB were the most informative and supportive, so I stayed.
The responses on some of the other boards, by the way, were very upsetting. I can't remember any specifics, but I do remember a couple of answers that made me cry and there were two or three that came close to convincing me to carry out my suicide plans. I think the only thing that really stopped me was PB -- as much waiting to see What Came Next as anything else. And remember Toby? Toby really seemed to care about everybody, and was so helpful -- that poster's posts were so helpful. (I still feel regret over the part my innocent question played in driving Toby away, too.)
This is a great topic, Nikki. And I gotta tell you: I do remember your wedding plans, and how much I envied you. I would never find anyone who could stand me enough to have dinner with me -- let alone marry me, and you? Bah! Why could everybody else find love and not me? I can't overstate how jealous I was because I was so lonely, so distressed, and so convinced that I was completely unloveable and unlikeable. (Sometimes it's nice to be proved wrong, huh?) I'm so glad to have caught up with you, too, because I think that jealousy may have had a lot to do with why we've really only interacted recently.
Either that or those magic bracelets have the power to deflect jealousy, too? Could that be it, Diana?
poster:Racer
thread:361591
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040626/msgs/361640.html