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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on June 20, 2004, at 11:44:41
I gotta tell you, it's harder by the minute. As I think I mentioned, I have been keeping myself asleep with Xanax for most of the past week. That's worked, although it's obviously not the "right" answer -- the right answer would have required the doctor to do something other than what he did in fact do -- but now the nightmares have invaded. And they're not even nightmares that I can point to and say, "How can I live with this?"
This latest was that my husband had brought home a young, asian bride, who had put animated Lion King cursors and 'windows wallpaper' on the computer. How can that send me into such a tailspin? It has.
Yes, I'm keeping my promise to Shar, because Shar has done a lot for me over the years -- as have you all, but the specific promise inovolved here was made to Shar -- but I have to tell you -- I want to die, I have no hope left at this point, and I have a plan. Under those circumstances, please help me keep my promise?
Posted by Racer on June 20, 2004, at 11:45:36
In reply to Keeping my promise -- but, posted by Racer on June 20, 2004, at 11:44:41
Posted by Shar on June 20, 2004, at 22:15:37
In reply to Keeping my promise -- but, posted by Racer on June 20, 2004, at 11:44:41
Racer,
I don't know how much help this will be, but I will try my best to be of any small assistance when it comes to keeping you around!I would think, right now, anything might send you into a tailspin. A dream of your husband with a new bride isn't anything to sneeze at even under normal circumstances; but, where you are right now...it seems perfectly understandable to me that you'd be upset by it.
I think sleeping until Tuesday is just fine, and I hate it that what small amount of grace you found in that has been disrupted. I guess it's just a decision of what, right now, is worse: the daymares or the nightmares?
And, if it helps, I can completely understand and join you in your wish to die. It is mind-boggling to try to comprehend how life got so out of balance and painful.
I'm thinking about you, and I'm thrilled you are hanging in there. I've been holding on to the last inch of my rope for a while now....
xoxo
Shar
Posted by Racer on June 21, 2004, at 10:05:56
In reply to I'll try » Racer, posted by Shar on June 20, 2004, at 22:15:37
Shar, you succeed. Knowing that you care about me really does make a difference. I can't say that's it always feels like enough, because you know as well as I do that it's not that simple. But your affection does matter to me.
And you want to know what was really upsetting about that dream? It was the damn Lion King animations on the computer screen. Is that nuts or what?
Posted by Shar on June 21, 2004, at 13:23:23
In reply to You succeed » Shar, posted by Racer on June 21, 2004, at 10:05:56
Racer,
Thanks for your kind words. I do indeed understand how things can be meaningful, but not enough.and about this:
> And you want to know what was really upsetting about that dream? It was the damn Lion King animations on the computer screen. Is that nuts or what?Nuts? Nahhhh. I don't think so. Now, if you started an anti-Lion-King-animated-computer-screen cult, with the goal of wiping out all LKACS stuff, using guerilla tactics (including night vision goggles), and preaching on street corners about it, and organizing demonstrations--well, that might be a little over the top.
:) ............OTOH, I've always wanted some night vision goggles, but still need a place to use them to spy on the bad guys...
Shar
Posted by kellyr. on June 21, 2004, at 22:07:36
In reply to Keeping my promise -- but, posted by Racer on June 20, 2004, at 11:44:41
I wish there was something i could say or do to get you out of your depression, I can only say that I know what your going though, I also have been trying to sleep my life away too, I know to I shouldn't but it's better then killing myself. I hope you keep your promise w/ shar. You are a very nice person and you help me though this painful time of mine, I would hate to lose you.
" Just over the hill is a beautiful valley, but you must climb the hill to see it".
This is the end of the thread.
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