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Keeping my promise -- but

Posted by Racer on June 20, 2004, at 11:44:41

I gotta tell you, it's harder by the minute. As I think I mentioned, I have been keeping myself asleep with Xanax for most of the past week. That's worked, although it's obviously not the "right" answer -- the right answer would have required the doctor to do something other than what he did in fact do -- but now the nightmares have invaded. And they're not even nightmares that I can point to and say, "How can I live with this?"

This latest was that my husband had brought home a young, asian bride, who had put animated Lion King cursors and 'windows wallpaper' on the computer. How can that send me into such a tailspin? It has.

Yes, I'm keeping my promise to Shar, because Shar has done a lot for me over the years -- as have you all, but the specific promise inovolved here was made to Shar -- but I have to tell you -- I want to die, I have no hope left at this point, and I have a plan. Under those circumstances, please help me keep my promise?


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poster:Racer thread:358309
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040501/msgs/358309.html