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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tina on May 17, 2004, at 16:48:48
Don't know if anyone remembers me but I was just surfing and thought I'd stop in and say howdy. I'm not reading any posts so I have no idea how everyone is but I do hope your lives are going better than mine. Hey, they can't be much worse.
Anyway, I hope you're all having a sunny good day.
tina
ps. sorry to hear about gracie. I didn't know her but I feel badly that so many are hurting due to her death. My heart goes out to all of you who were touched by her.
Posted by noa on May 17, 2004, at 17:46:15
In reply to meekly waving hello, posted by tina on May 17, 2004, at 16:48:48
Hi, Tina!
Thank you for stopping by. I do hope things will start getting better for you.
Take care!
Posted by allisonm on May 17, 2004, at 18:09:50
In reply to meekly waving hello, posted by tina on May 17, 2004, at 16:48:48
Hi Tina!
It's good to see your post here. I'm sorry things aren't going well right now. I'm sending positive thoughts your way. Take care, OK? And post some more if you feel like it.
Alli
Posted by shar on May 17, 2004, at 21:39:44
In reply to meekly waving hello, posted by tina on May 17, 2004, at 16:48:48
T-
So good to see your name! I'm sorry your life isn't too good, mine isn't either.I'd really like for you to post some more about how you are.
Take care,
Shar
Posted by tina on May 18, 2004, at 13:34:19
In reply to Re: meekly waving hello » tina, posted by shar on May 17, 2004, at 21:39:44
Hey shar
I think everyone that has heard my pathetic story has had just about enough so I don't want to go into a whiny diatribe. Suffice if to say, divorce/lawyers/exs/moving/changing jobs sucks.
I also feel like every person who told me that they were my friend has abandoned me. I post to new groups and get no replies. I write emails to these so-called friends and get no reply. Hell, even my family don't return my calls or emails.
Damn, it turned into a whiny diatribe anyway. I know I'm not a bad person and I give an awful lot but I always seem to be the one on the working side of every relationship. I have to put in all the effort and still get left behind. All my effort goes into giving and they take all they can and then leave. I've considered suicide more in the last month than I have over the course of my 17 years illness. Yet, I'm still not a blip on anyone's radar.
I'm just going to have to accept that that's my life. Live it or leave it, right?
Your turn shar.
What's up with you?
Posted by shar on May 18, 2004, at 18:27:48
In reply to Re: meekly waving hello » shar, posted by tina on May 18, 2004, at 13:34:19
T,
Well, it doesn't sound so much like a whiny diatribe as a description of what's going on. It sounds like very tough times, and coming at you in different directions. All of those things are very high on the 'stressor' list!And, so demoralizing to deal with if they aren't especially what we want (the job, the move, etc).
Me? I'm exceedingly suicidal these days. Got my method worked out. I've written my notes (but I'm gonna stick around long enough to edit them so they don't suck), all I need is the means, which I will have to obtain.
I've always thought suicide (like revenge) is a dish best served up cold. That means, doing it when I'm suicidal isn't all that good. However, after analysis of the last 52 years, if I reach the conclusion of 'it's time to go' then that's when I do it. I'm pretty much there, but I'm having to avoid people's birthdays (like my nieces have birthdays in May and June and my SO has one in August---dammit!!). Since my dad died two days before my sister's birthday, it's cast a pall over the whole month for all of us. So, I'm trying to be sensitive, but it's damn inconvenient. My best window was April, and I blew it.
Oh well, another one will come around.
However, I do believe you are too young to be doing that! Gotta wait til you're 50 to do the deed. Before then (especially nowadays) miracles can happen. Like Judy Tanuta (sp?) says, 'It could happen...'
Write more! And you don't need to be meek!
Shar
Posted by tina on May 19, 2004, at 9:38:21
In reply to Re: meekly waving hello » tina, posted by shar on May 18, 2004, at 18:27:48
Suicidal huh? You gettin help with that or have you given up on that route like I have?
I totally understand the desire to just have life over with and all these things, events and people getting in the way. I'm glad you're still around though, otherwise, I'd have no one to complain to :-) right? Still, I'm not even going to try to talk you out of it since it would be rather hypocritical of me, but I won't encourage you either. I shall remain neutral on the matter and let you decide for yourself what is best for you. I'm assuming you are in the right mind to do so. ;) DOn't take this to mean I don't care. That's very far from the truth. I just don't want to tell people that they should live and hope for tomorrow when I don't believe it myself. Ya know?
But, I digress....
Anyway, talking about me isn't any fun so I won't go into any details of my completely sucky life. I just wish I had one friend here in the real world that would hold my hand, let me lean on them or just sit beside me and listen. Ive tried to make friends to no avail. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. I think I'm friend-worthy sometimes and then I realize I mustn't be since I haven't got any. What a paradox.
Well shar, I'm just rambling here and should really get my ass in gear for the day. I have a ton of things to do. Email me if you are so inclined and we can try to stay in touch more. I'd like that.
love ya
tina
hystoree166@yahoo.com
Posted by tina on May 20, 2004, at 14:12:00
In reply to Re: meekly waving hello » tina, posted by noa on May 17, 2004, at 17:46:15
sorry I didn't acknowledge that you both replied to my post. I did see that you did but I decided to give shar a big reply hoping that the two of you would read it as well. Thanks for the good wishes, I hope things will get better too. Last night I received some more upsetting news and I've been crying for about 13 hours now. Everything is just so damned hard right now. I'm hanging by a very frayed thread.
I hope things are well with both of you
tina
Posted by shar on May 20, 2004, at 21:45:48
In reply to Re: meekly waving hello » shar, posted by tina on May 19, 2004, at 9:38:21
T--
I totally understand the neutrality issue. I feel that way too (except for really young people, ie, under 50). And, I appreciate it!I know, for sure, you are one of the people I would decidedly miss if you were gone. Guess I'm thinking of Gracie, at the moment, and she was only 43, older than you, and I miss her great big bunches. So, I don't wanna lose another 'kid.'
But, I respect your choices (unless I can talk you out of them!).
xoxoxo
So good to see you!
Shar
Posted by Rach on May 22, 2004, at 1:36:37
In reply to Re: meekly waving hello---alli and noa, posted by tina on May 20, 2004, at 14:12:00
Posted by Cass on May 24, 2004, at 0:44:56
In reply to Re: meekly waving hello » tina, posted by shar on May 17, 2004, at 21:39:44
Hi Tina!
I remember you! I used to post a lot here too. I haven't posted much for several years now, but every once in awhile I drop by.
I didn't know Gracie either, but the news is certainly tragic. PB is a little family, so I feel sad for the loss.
Best wishes,
Cass
Posted by Cass on May 24, 2004, at 15:27:02
In reply to Re: meekly waving hello, posted by Cass on May 24, 2004, at 0:44:56
Dear shar and tina,
I just read some of the follow-ups to tina's first post. I'm so sorry to hear that times are so tough right now for the both of you.
shar, why do you say,"Gotta wait til you're 50 to do the deed. Before then (especially nowadays) miracles can happen" Why don't you think miracles can happen after the age of 50? I always thought that possibilites ended at the age of 40. I'm older than that now, and my life has never been so good. I'm wondering what makes your situation so desperate? Forgive me if you've explained it before, I haven't been here for quite some time.
I remember receiving a lot of help from you when I posted here regularly, and the thought of you having suicide notes all written up really pains me.
tina,
The same is true for you. I remember receiving support from you, and it hurts me to know you're feeling so troubled. I remember all too well what it feels like. Sometimes I get depressed lately, but fortunately, the episodes are brief. Then again, I'm not under a lot of stress these days. I wish I could offer more support. Please know that you are a valued person who would be greatly missed if you decided to end it. I encourage you to talk more about your conflicts. It's not whiny. It's constructive.
Posted by tina on May 28, 2004, at 11:17:19
In reply to Re: meekly waving hello, posted by Cass on May 24, 2004, at 15:27:02
thanks for the well wishes Cass. I do remember you and I hope things are going well for you.
take care
tina
This is the end of the thread.
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