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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by shar on October 11, 2003, at 11:45:56
I'm just wondering (for those of you who have experienced not being able to pay bills) how one handles it. Like getting a "pay or lose electricity" notice, or "your insurance pmt is overdue 2 months" notice. Luckily I haven't started getting calls from bill collectors yet. Those totally freak me out (that happened in 1988 when I was a grad student/single mom working 3 part time jobs, and in school full time--I went to the helpful folks at Consumer Credit Counseling, and they said drop out of school).
Everytime I check the mail, I get more anxious. I was raised on the "your credit rating is more important than anything else" philosophy. I just get more suicidal ideation (not to worry, will not attempt) I think because I feel so trapped. I feel awful for not paying, a loser, I have one credit card left and feel so embarrassed putting groceries on credit. I feel a ton of shame.
But the fact is, my part time job does not pay the bills; hardly even groceries.
Everbody needs doctor and/or vet visits. I am SO anxious about it all. What to do, don't see where additional money will come from, feels so fatalistic.
I just wanna be out of here. My job interviews (when I get one) suck royally, it's hard for a depressed gray-haired 51 year old to compete with a bouncy 29 year old who actually has energy. I cashed in my retirement a while back, and it's now gone. I don't even know if I have enough energy to work 8 hours a day. I know I can't do retail standing on my feet that long every day, tried that, can't even do that parttime, but retail (the only one's that hired me) seems like my only option (that I can't take). Rock and a hard place.
Life just totally sucks so much with this hanging over me. I don't know what to do. And, it gets worse.
Enough of that. So, does anybody know a gracious way to handle those collector's phone calls that will start coming any day now? Or, a good joke? Or will pray for a positive solution to come my way?
Shar
Posted by coral on October 11, 2003, at 21:20:36
In reply to How does one handle poverty?, posted by shar on October 11, 2003, at 11:45:56
Dearest Shar,
If I remember correctly, I've shared with you the total devastation from my time in dante's inferno, (including $$$ severe losses). Remember, the collectors are just doing a job.
They're trained in techniques to evoke the most likely reaction to get a payment; guilt, intimidation, threats, etc., --- tactics.You're in my thoughts.....
((((((((((((Shar)))))))))))))
C
Posted by Kath on October 11, 2003, at 22:28:33
In reply to How does one handle poverty?, posted by shar on October 11, 2003, at 11:45:56
(((((((((((((Shar))))))))))))))
All I can do is share what my Mom told me & what I've also done & told my kids.....
As long as you pay a small amount on a regular basis, they'll know you are serious about paying. Now, when it comes to bills where the electricity is going to be turned off, etc....I don't know.....but once when i had a huge phone bill I called the billing dept. & talked with them. I told them that I wanted to be paying off my debt on a regular basis, and that all I could afford was $x They accepted it.
Another time, I went to the Credit Union of the University where I worked in the library & took a "consolidation loan" - they looked at my bills & saw what I owed & I think they actually wrote out cheques & sent them to the companies & I had to hand over my credit cards to them - no more credit cards (scarey) and worked out what I could afford to pay the Credit Union monthly.
That's all I can say Shar. My thoughts are with you hun. Please give yourself great credit for "hanging in there".
much love,Kath
Posted by noa on October 12, 2003, at 14:08:38
In reply to How does one handle poverty?, posted by shar on October 11, 2003, at 11:45:56
I don't know.
I developed the bad habit of just not opening my mail!
I don't recommend this. It got me into worse financial trouble. Now, even when I am in much better financial shape than I was, I still have the habit of not reading the mail and being late with bills.
I ended up fixing my debt problem with help of the consumer credit counseling service. When I went to them, it was part of a plan to get some control back, including finding cheaper housing, etc. But when the reality is that a basic budget for basic living is more than one's income, I don't know what would help. Maybe there are deals you can make with the power company, etc. for a payment plan? I really don't know.
But I do know that financial woes can intensify the depression. I'm anxious just writing this because it's making me think of my overdue bills. And, how I keep poor track of my money so I end up overdrawing and then having to pay huge fees which makes it all worse.
At this point I should be able to balance my budget but because of the anxiety and bad habits I developed from depression and not having enough money in the past, I still struggle unecessarily with these things.
Commiseratingly (but perhaps undeservedly so at this point) yours,
Noa
Posted by noa on October 12, 2003, at 14:11:49
In reply to Re: How does one handle poverty? » shar, posted by Kath on October 11, 2003, at 22:28:33
One good thing about using the Consumer Credit Counseling Service (not to be confused with the many newly formed credit counseling companies that have popped up lately and I am skeptical about) is that there was an intermediary between me and the creditors. CCCS debited my account electronically every month and payed the bills. This also helped with the organizational problems I have with keeping on top of the process of bill paying.
Posted by judy1 on October 12, 2003, at 21:38:20
In reply to How does one handle poverty?, posted by shar on October 11, 2003, at 11:45:56
Do you feel it's time to apply for social security? I don't know if your benefits will cover your bills, but if you've been working 20? years it does come to a decent sum. In my state Medicare goes with HMO companies for health plans so everything is pretty much covered. I went through Alsup (sp?), insurance attornies who took care of everything and was approved in 3 months. As far as debtors, I also went through a credit counseling program and they set up a plan like noa's and I never had to deal with nasty letters anymore. utilities agreed to take what I could afford monthly and I eventually caught up. As long as everything gets paid down, your credit score comes right back up (as long as you don't declare bankruptcy). if i can help any further please let me know. take care, judy
Posted by shar on October 12, 2003, at 22:49:21
In reply to Re: How does one handle poverty? » shar, posted by judy1 on October 12, 2003, at 21:38:20
...especially for making me feel less alone. I wish I could get those hugs in person!
It helps to know people have done it before and come out ok. I still feel the shame, anxiety, etc., and probably will continue to, but I'll be back and re-read these notes.
Thanks very much
xoxo
Shar
Posted by Greg on October 13, 2003, at 14:15:12
In reply to How does one handle poverty?, posted by shar on October 11, 2003, at 11:45:56
Hi MIC,
Because you and I are rowin' the same boat...there is a company called Ameridebt which has a very good rep for helping people like us consolidate our debts into one affordable, monthly payment. You will of course lose your credit cards, and it goes on your credit record. So I don't know how much better it is than taking the 10 year hit and filing bankruptcy quite honestly. I had one friend tell me that they cut their debts down by 3/4 of what they started out with. Not bad.
The other option is to keep paying what you can until you can pay more. The key here is to call your creditors before they have to call you. Believe it or not, most of would rather have a little something from you than to have to go thru the hassle of turning you over to a collection agency. But if you call them up front, lay your cards on the table, I think you'll find most of them will be willing to work with you.
I'm right there with you sweetie. If I don't do something soon, they might as well write Titanic on the side of my boat, cause it's goin' down.
Love you,
Greg
Posted by noa on October 13, 2003, at 18:04:39
In reply to Re: How does one handle poverty? » shar, posted by Greg on October 13, 2003, at 14:15:12
Then there's what that girl did on the internet--I think she pleaded for help on a web site, and beleive it or not, people sent her money!! And her debt problem was apparently from just not being very responsible with her money, not because of struggling with depression or anything.
Posted by noa on October 13, 2003, at 18:46:49
In reply to Re: How does one handle poverty?, posted by noa on October 13, 2003, at 18:04:39
This is pretty outrageous--here is the web site address (and note, it appears to be a Texan?)
http://www.lonestar.texas.net/~blessing/
I was tempted to submit a comment, but decided it wasn't worth it.
Shar, your feelings of shame are, on the one hand, undeserved. YOu have nothing to be ashamed about! But I understand the feeling. And I'm glad we could help you not feel as ashamed if only because you are not alone.
But on the other hand, at least you have the decency to feel some shame!! Clearly there are plenty of people out there who are pretty shameless---Your money problems aren't just because of overspending on a Firebird, etc.!
This is billed as humor, but I think some of these people really did beg for money on the internet and get it!
Posted by kazoo on October 15, 2003, at 3:40:11
In reply to How does one handle poverty?, posted by shar on October 11, 2003, at 11:45:56
This is the end of the thread.
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