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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Greg on August 22, 2003, at 13:09:19
I'm too tired, I'm not interested, I don't care, I hurt way too much, the pain is very intense.
The only way to win, is not to play.
Screw it.
Posted by shar on August 22, 2003, at 22:37:29
In reply to sigh..., posted by Greg on August 22, 2003, at 13:09:19
I will send you all the good vibes I can muster, and I SO relate to how things suck sometimes. I am pulling for you, and sorry you have to endure this BS.
xoxo
YIC
Posted by noa on August 23, 2003, at 18:38:28
In reply to sigh..., posted by Greg on August 22, 2003, at 13:09:19
?
(((G))))
N
Posted by tina on August 25, 2003, at 14:32:10
In reply to Re: sigh...? » Greg, posted by noa on August 23, 2003, at 18:38:28
what's goin on Greg? You know I'm way way way out of the loop now. Whatsammadda????
love you to bits
boops
Posted by Greg on August 29, 2003, at 18:03:35
In reply to Re: sigh...? » Greg, posted by noa on August 23, 2003, at 18:38:28
Hi Noa,
Thanks for the hug, I can always use those. I've just been living life according to Murphy's Law lately, and I'm just tired of it. Sometimes I just have to give up and let life win for awhile. People, places, and things don't always go our way, do they? I guess I'm just kicking back, letting life win for a bit, and recharging my batteries for the next round of battles.
Sorry that I sound so negative, but it's all I've got right now. I know I've got all of you to help me thru it, and that's a big comfort. You guys really are a blessing.
I hope you're doing well Noa. Enjoy the long weekend.
Greg
Posted by Greg on August 29, 2003, at 18:05:26
In reply to Re: sigh... » Greg, posted by shar on August 22, 2003, at 22:37:29
MIC,
I sent you a very long email at 1:45 in the morning today. It sucks when you can't sleep...
Love you,
Greg
Posted by Greg on August 29, 2003, at 18:09:29
In reply to Re: sigh...? I second that ?????GREG, posted by tina on August 25, 2003, at 14:32:10
Boops,
I left you a post at ASH. I hope it explains a little anyway. I'm not sure I understand what I'm going thru. I'm dazed and confused...more than normal.
Have a good weekend sweetie.
I love your bits too :)
Greg
Posted by judy1 on August 30, 2003, at 20:15:12
In reply to Re: sigh...? I second that ????? » tina, posted by Greg on August 29, 2003, at 18:09:29
I didn't know you weren't feeling well Greg, so please forgive my flippant remark on the other thread. Is it anything specific that has you down, or is it a bunch of stuff all at once? Sometimes that happens to me (the bunch of stuff) and I get so overwhelmed that I just withdraw and wait it out. Seems to work. I hope you don't have to wait too much longer until you begin to feel better.
take care of yourself, judy
Posted by Greg on August 31, 2003, at 16:28:33
In reply to sorry I just read this » Greg, posted by judy1 on August 30, 2003, at 20:15:12
Hi Judy,
Good to hear from you. It's a compilation of several things that have happened that are beyond my control. My self-esteem (what little I had left) has taken a horrible beating, and I'm feeling like a terrible waste of space. I haven't had a serious depression in a few years, and I forgot how bad it can be. A lot of what's going on with me right now centers around finances. You know the old saying, money isn't everything...unless you don't have any. I'm really letting my family down, and I'm having a real hard time living with that.
But anyway, how are you? Good I hope. How is the baby, not a baby anymore I guess. Didn't I read that she had her first birthday just awhile back? My granddaughter just had her first, and we had the party for her here because we have the biggest house in the family. You should have seen her covered in chocolate cake! It was so funny! She's really become attached to me too, I love it. I love that I get to spoil her and send her home to her Mom. I warned my daughter I would do that. Just getting even... :)
Well, please take care, and I hope I hear from you soon. Give that little one a hug for me.
Greg
Posted by noa on September 1, 2003, at 9:24:56
In reply to Re: sorry I just read this » judy1, posted by Greg on August 31, 2003, at 16:28:33
Greg, my mood is often strongly influenced by financial issues, too. For years, it was a matter of making too little to live decently. Now, I make enough so that I *should* be able to cover my expenses, for the most part, assuming I don't impulse buy or need to travel, or the big household things don't break down and need to be replaced (oh, and I probably can't retire until I'm about 87 y.o.). But basically, when I'm in the black (except for "good" debt), and have enough in my account to cover the usual monthly expenses, I feel ok. But when I screw up and overdraw I get very anxious and then I get depressed. Usually when this happens it is because I wasn't keeping track of spending vs. available funds, etc. but also I have money coming to me that I haven't submitted the paperwork for (tax refund, insurance reimbursements, etc.) which is rather self-defeating, of course, but I let my paperwork go for months and months and months. Then I overdraw and the bank starts charging the overdraft fees (I recently applied for overdraft protection, ie, credit, and was turned down), and then I'm in the red a whole lot more, etc. This makes me feel like such a screw up and I get depressed.
At the moment, I have money to cover the automatic debits for my monthly bills, etc. and this has a positive effect on my mood. But I was just in the red a few weeks ago, and it can just feel so discouraging when I'm in that hole. And for me, discouragement becomes depression.
And, I have no dependents. It is very natural for people who have families depending on them, to worry about providing. And, I think it is probably built in to the socialization process for boys and men, too, to have self-esteem depend on finances.
And I know the feelings of downward spiral of discouragement. I think at times like this it helps to have someone do some reality testing on just how bad the situation is, whether there is hope of fixing it, and especially about how it affects how your family sees you---ie, your fears are no doubt much more severe than the reality. How your family REALLY feel vs. what you THINK about how they feel about you and the financial issues of the moment, are no doubt very different.
You are a provider, but not just of financial support. You provide so much more!! I know how warm you are and loving of your family, and can almost see the sparkly in your eyes when you look at, think about, or talk about your children and granddaughter, like in the last post. Heck, I can almost see the sparkle when you asked about Judy's daughter in the previous message post, so I can only imagine how twinkly that sparkle is for your own family!
I know you "know" this (there is the "knowing" in the rational brain, but then there is the other kind of "knowing"), but I think it helps to remind anyway,--- you and your worth are not defined by your bank balance.
I think it helps when we can visualize such problems as a finite problem, not as our selves. This is something hard for me, too. Often, my ability to see it as a problem, with boundaries, outside my self, depends on the assistance of another person who does see it as just a problem, and has the skills to put the problem in its place by naming it, naming its components, identifying its boundaries for me, defining strategies to solve the problem, step by step, and helping me choose the strategies to take, and then coaching me through the process. That kind of person really DOES see it as just a finite problem, separate from me, so I glom on to that person for a bit so I can try to see it that way too.
I hope you start to feel more hopeful soon. Your granddaughter is obviously good medicine, too.
Take care.
Posted by noa on September 4, 2003, at 18:09:43
In reply to Re: sorry I just read this » judy1, posted by Greg on August 31, 2003, at 16:28:33
Greg--how are you?
This is the end of the thread.
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