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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by judy1 on July 9, 2002, at 16:07:45
I guess I wanted to know other's thoughts (well at least the old-timers). I'm saddened by the loss of some very supportive posters, and I don't remember another time where we had so many posters feeling unsupported and angry. Please let me know how you feel. Thanks- judy
Posted by Phil on July 9, 2002, at 20:14:55
In reply to Feeling sad about what's going on at admin, posted by judy1 on July 9, 2002, at 16:07:45
1. Let Dr Bob run his board.
2. Don't read posters who make you sick.
3. Let Dr. Bob run his board.
4. TBYP-Think before you post.
5. Take the high road.
Posted by Greg on July 9, 2002, at 21:36:23
In reply to Feeling sad about what's going on at admin, posted by judy1 on July 9, 2002, at 16:07:45
Judy,
I could write pages about how I feel about this and many other of the issues here at PB but it would just be sour grapes and I learned long ago to choose my battles carefully and try to fight the ones I stand a chance of winning.
To me it's just a continuing evolution of the board that's sad, very very sad. Try not to let it get to you too much.
Hugs,
Greg
Posted by shar on July 9, 2002, at 22:50:07
In reply to Feeling sad about what's going on at admin, posted by judy1 on July 9, 2002, at 16:07:45
Judy,
I'm sorry you're feeling sad, I wish I could erase it for you.I wonder if there is an element of 'survivor's guilt' for some people who stay and continue to get support, knowing that others are so unhappy they are leaving.
In some ways to me, it comes down to where a poster's commitment is. If you will note, it is a small percentage of all posters who leave or threaten to. We don't get a count of all the ones who are staying. And that may mean staying in spite of disagreements that they have about the admin aspect of this board. I think most of us, at one time or another, have sounded off on the admin board, and maybe our comments made a difference or maybe they didn't.
What is much more important to me are the posters who remain and talk about what is going on with them, and ask for suggestions, and need and offer help and support. If posters leave because they don't think someone (or 20 someones) should have been blocked, obviously their commitment is not to the people who remain (you and me, and all the others).
If their commitment is not to the posters, it is to setting straight the running of the board. And, if it isn't set straight--or what they consider straight--I guess they leave. I believe there is also a clique-ish element in the exodus, that many leavers were close as posters on the board. I guess if someone isn't interested in supporting the people who are in pain, or their interest is superceded by political considerations, so be it. They'll undoubtedly be missed by some, but if PSB gets back to the business of support etc., I think the grieving process will be short. After all, we are a community of people reaching out to others with similar experiences. As reacher-outers, we survive a little better because others respond to us in a meaningful way. Sometimes it can be the difference between living another hour or not. Very heavy stuff, indeed.
This is all my opinion. I don't begrudge any person feeling a certain way, or leaving if that's what they need to do. It is their life; I don't think they're wrong or right. We all have the same option to go or stay. If they stayed against their will, it is unlikely they would be able to give much to others that need their help.
I am ready for the Psycho Babble power struggle to come to an end. When we signed on, we agreed to a contract of sorts, that at the very least lets people know who this board belongs to. And, without much effort one can tell who makes the decisions, but also that posters can weigh in with their own comments and ideas. If that amount of input is not enough, I guess people will leave.
As for me, I guess I'll be around for a while, because I don't have much of an investment in administrative issues. The people in pain, or needing help are much more important, imo. Or the people who ARE pains and disrupt the board.....8-).
This situation needs perspective. And, I guess mine is that there is a lot of high drama over ideals, power struggles, feeding off discontent, the contagion of the exodus...well, we're all grownups--so be it if that's how people want to spend their time. If we get back to basics, what the board is about, it's not administration.
We are all making choices all the time. Nobody is being forced to leave, it's a choice. And, in that choice they reveal their consideration of posters in general vs. the administration being unfair or communistic or mean or whatever. And, if the importance of admin is higher than the importance of the posters, they can leave. If it is the other way around, they can stay.
I'm staying. Others are staying, I'm glad to see. Others will come. I'm sure there will be more leaving. It is a process of dynamics that takes place in groups, especially intimate groups.
If I could make you not sad I would. At the very least, know that I am happy you have begun to post here again, and I do hope you will stay. I know there have been rough patches in the past, where posters were cruel to each other.....and that helped foster the current practice of monitoring posts for 'civility' (whatever that is). The people who left because of that cruelty have much more of my sympathy, empathy, and sorrow because they were hurt by their peers in a place that should have been safe.
Shar
Posted by allisonm on July 10, 2002, at 9:00:59
In reply to A matter of priorities (long n unsympathetic), posted by shar on July 9, 2002, at 22:50:07
Posted by Phil on July 10, 2002, at 12:33:18
In reply to Very well said, Shar. (nm), posted by allisonm on July 10, 2002, at 9:00:59
Posted by Greg on July 10, 2002, at 15:25:01
In reply to A matter of priorities (long n unsympathetic), posted by shar on July 9, 2002, at 22:50:07
MIC,
Just goes to show that people can care about the same thing in many different ways, huh sweetie? I just don't know how to anymore.
Greg
Posted by judy1 on July 10, 2002, at 16:12:09
In reply to Feeling sad about what's going on at admin, posted by judy1 on July 9, 2002, at 16:07:45
(and Shar for your empathy). I know I am too sensitive and some part of me wants to make everything 'right', but I don't have that power- not even over my own life. So I'll feel sad and hope some people return and be VERY grateful for those of you who have always supported me. take care, judy
Posted by tina on July 10, 2002, at 21:33:02
In reply to Thank you for your responses.., posted by judy1 on July 10, 2002, at 16:12:09
codependence. You want to fix the world and make everyone happy and make them get along. I totally understand the impulse but I think it's unrealistic, especially concerning people with mental disorders. Not everyone is thinking clearly when they post and other do things for the specific goal of inciting debate and argument. Your empathy is admirable but if it causes you so much pain, try to just let 'them' do what they are going to do.
take care of yourself first.
tina
Posted by shar on July 11, 2002, at 0:08:59
In reply to Re: A matter of priorities (long n unsympathetic) » shar, posted by Greg on July 10, 2002, at 15:25:01
Sweetie Pie,
Yes, you are right on there! Caring can and does take many different forms, as we both know having been thru situations that call for very different styles (honest, encouraging, supportive, comforting, brutally honest, blunt (that's me), being funny, etc.).
xoxo
YIC> MIC,
>
> Just goes to show that people can care about the same thing in many different ways, huh sweetie? I just don't know how to anymore.
>
> Greg
Posted by judy1 on July 11, 2002, at 18:25:58
In reply to Got one word for you Judy........., posted by tina on July 10, 2002, at 21:33:02
I'm not familiar with that word- but you certainly read me quite well. I will *try* not to let the posts get to me, perhaps not reading them is the best course. take care, judy
Posted by tina on July 11, 2002, at 21:38:05
In reply to Re: Got one word for you Judy......... » tina, posted by judy1 on July 11, 2002, at 18:25:58
"perhaps not reading them is the best course."
Good luck with that Judy. I tell myself that all the time but I end up reading them anyway and then get sad about all the anger and just plain nastiness. It's hard when you're a sensitive person. I do hope you can distance yourself though. I hate to see it all upset you so much.
all the best
tina
Posted by judy1 on July 14, 2002, at 13:17:26
In reply to Re: Got one word for you Judy......... » judy1, posted by tina on July 11, 2002, at 21:38:05
Good luck with that Judy. I tell myself that all the time but I end up reading them anyway and then get sad about all the anger and just plain nastiness
I couldn't make myself stop reading admin and just lost it. I'm better now. My therapist explained the whole amygdala-hippocampus thing (sp?) when any kind of angry behavior by others just triggers all the past abuses and I land up curled up in a corner. Not real healthy and not very safe for me either. I wish I had the ability to read posts rationally but I just feel the anger and bam I'm gone. I think I'm trying to explain myself here, but it probably isn't necessary. Take care, judy
Posted by tina on July 14, 2002, at 15:59:04
In reply to Wow were you right » tina, posted by judy1 on July 14, 2002, at 13:17:26
Nope Judy, no explanation necessary. I know exactly what you mean. It's almost like being in a building and you see one tile fall from the ceiling and then another and another.............all of a sudden you find yourself hiding under a table with your arms clasped over your head for protection.
Been there hun. Keep trying.
This is the end of the thread.
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