Posted by shar on July 9, 2002, at 22:50:07
In reply to Feeling sad about what's going on at admin, posted by judy1 on July 9, 2002, at 16:07:45
Judy,
I'm sorry you're feeling sad, I wish I could erase it for you.I wonder if there is an element of 'survivor's guilt' for some people who stay and continue to get support, knowing that others are so unhappy they are leaving.
In some ways to me, it comes down to where a poster's commitment is. If you will note, it is a small percentage of all posters who leave or threaten to. We don't get a count of all the ones who are staying. And that may mean staying in spite of disagreements that they have about the admin aspect of this board. I think most of us, at one time or another, have sounded off on the admin board, and maybe our comments made a difference or maybe they didn't.
What is much more important to me are the posters who remain and talk about what is going on with them, and ask for suggestions, and need and offer help and support. If posters leave because they don't think someone (or 20 someones) should have been blocked, obviously their commitment is not to the people who remain (you and me, and all the others).
If their commitment is not to the posters, it is to setting straight the running of the board. And, if it isn't set straight--or what they consider straight--I guess they leave. I believe there is also a clique-ish element in the exodus, that many leavers were close as posters on the board. I guess if someone isn't interested in supporting the people who are in pain, or their interest is superceded by political considerations, so be it. They'll undoubtedly be missed by some, but if PSB gets back to the business of support etc., I think the grieving process will be short. After all, we are a community of people reaching out to others with similar experiences. As reacher-outers, we survive a little better because others respond to us in a meaningful way. Sometimes it can be the difference between living another hour or not. Very heavy stuff, indeed.
This is all my opinion. I don't begrudge any person feeling a certain way, or leaving if that's what they need to do. It is their life; I don't think they're wrong or right. We all have the same option to go or stay. If they stayed against their will, it is unlikely they would be able to give much to others that need their help.
I am ready for the Psycho Babble power struggle to come to an end. When we signed on, we agreed to a contract of sorts, that at the very least lets people know who this board belongs to. And, without much effort one can tell who makes the decisions, but also that posters can weigh in with their own comments and ideas. If that amount of input is not enough, I guess people will leave.
As for me, I guess I'll be around for a while, because I don't have much of an investment in administrative issues. The people in pain, or needing help are much more important, imo. Or the people who ARE pains and disrupt the board.....8-).
This situation needs perspective. And, I guess mine is that there is a lot of high drama over ideals, power struggles, feeding off discontent, the contagion of the exodus...well, we're all grownups--so be it if that's how people want to spend their time. If we get back to basics, what the board is about, it's not administration.
We are all making choices all the time. Nobody is being forced to leave, it's a choice. And, in that choice they reveal their consideration of posters in general vs. the administration being unfair or communistic or mean or whatever. And, if the importance of admin is higher than the importance of the posters, they can leave. If it is the other way around, they can stay.
I'm staying. Others are staying, I'm glad to see. Others will come. I'm sure there will be more leaving. It is a process of dynamics that takes place in groups, especially intimate groups.
If I could make you not sad I would. At the very least, know that I am happy you have begun to post here again, and I do hope you will stay. I know there have been rough patches in the past, where posters were cruel to each other.....and that helped foster the current practice of monitoring posts for 'civility' (whatever that is). The people who left because of that cruelty have much more of my sympathy, empathy, and sorrow because they were hurt by their peers in a place that should have been safe.
Shar
poster:shar
thread:425
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20020416/msgs/428.html