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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 51 to 75 of 84. Go back in thread:
Posted by Ronnjee on December 24, 2013, at 10:10:36
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 24, 2013, at 3:11:48
> To be fair, back then, I had a low tolerance myself. So I may have selected "ultra-sensitive" deputies.
>
> Bob
OK - fair enough. Please tell us what has changed in your thinking since "back then".
Posted by Phillipa on December 24, 2013, at 19:53:53
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 24, 2013, at 3:11:48
Dr Bob somewhat as I understand it I can think about me but not what someone else says? Phillipa
Posted by alexandra_k on December 25, 2013, at 16:18:11
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 24, 2013, at 3:11:48
> It depends on what you think. If you say you think someone's stupid, they might feel put down, so I'd consider that uncivil. But if you say you think you back down easily, that's about you, not anybody else. And saying you feel angry, or whatever, is about you, too.
things can get tricky, though.
i guess because boundaries are porous. our feelings and beliefs and perceptions are an interface between ourself and things that lie outside ourself including other people. we have feelings about them and beliefs about them and we perceive them to be certain ways. it can be really hard to disentangle the mess of where one person starts or stops and another begins. i mean they are my feelings and beliefs and perceptions and in a sense they say more about me than they say about you. but of course my feelings and beliefs and perceptions about / of you are about / of you = they represent you.
i realise i have more trouble with this than most. but that's resulted in my being perhaps more motivated to learn about the way things are with this than most. and this has resulted in my coming to learn something about some of the aspects of this that are controversial. because people are working on this. and there are problems. and much is controversial. but of course (like anything) there are areas of broad consensus, too (like what i said in the paragraph above).
and your particular views on this (on what is civil and what is not civil - insofar as certain things are considered civil because they are about me or uncivil because they are about others) isn't consensus at all. or isn't the standard line. or anything like that. and why is it okay to be uncivil to yourself anyway? i don't get that. like you said to dinah... why care about the particular words if you can accept the intention? and why does a snort (of derision? how else is one supposed to interpret a snort)? civil when your threshold is set to capture all those other false positives...
?
or maybe i'm broken that i don't get this.
i'm sorry.
i guess things seem to be different now. but i don't really know. i don't know. maybe it is better for me not to think overly much on this.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 26, 2013, at 3:53:48
In reply to Re: a crucible » Dr. Bob, posted by alexandra_k on December 25, 2013, at 16:18:11
I am going to train to be an orthopedic surgeon in a top 50 university. I am. Otherwise... I'm going to do it anyways in developing nations. Which... Sounds awful. Irresponsible and all that... But people have given me the tools / resources to understand...
Point being: It's okay. Whether I get this or not. I mean... I'd rather get it. I... I like to think that I have good social skills, actually.
I mean...
Autism this and autism that...
I'd actually done pretty well in philosophy. And not that logic stuff, neither. Not the highly technical stuff. Not the Getteriology process (definition followed by counter-example followed by revised definition followed by revised counter-example followed by re-revised definition...)
I have decided: I don't regret doing what I've done. In terms of choosing my supervisor. Choosing my University. I have knowledge and understanding that I would not have got if I had have pursued alternative options. Even though alternative options would have given me pieces of paper well before now*
*IMportant caveat... I do think I could have been nurtured more. And that would have resulted in increased productivity from me. But lets compare that situation with me vs that situation with my supervisor. What he produced with the time he had (with fairly minimal supervising of me) vs what I would have achieved with more input...
Things get hard...
And I... Don't begrudge. Because I've learned a f*ck*ng lot, actually. ANd: If I wrote it up: He would read it. And... Wow. He would. And eventually approve / sign off on it. So... What am I bitching about?????
Back to the subject...
I want to go to medical school. This 'autistic spectrum' thing is license for people to write me off as a lab geek. There is a bunch of stuffs about that... About how some people should be left to write their reviews of battlestar gallactica back in the lab while the people with actual social skills get to see patients...
The thing is...
1) You can have your flight plan. You can have your just following instructions / going by the rule book 9 to 5 occupation that is consistent with your raising a family and having kids etc etc etc...
or:
2) You can have your person who is prepared to devote their life. In the sense that: Because I choose not to have kids and a partner etc etc (because in my feeling... To do so properly would involve some weird kind of 'good wife' thing that isn't on the books along with a career in early childhood education followed by primary education followed by...) So... Someone who decides to contribute back to society in this way. I mean... Raising kids isn't 9 to 5. You are on call 24/7. To do it properly... But what if you don't have the skills to do it 'properly'? Well... Surgery is... Second best? Something...
?
The Vanuatu thing is... Prospects for contributing back to society. The pieces of paper don't matter. The lack of knowledge that went behind them might... Insofar as it is actually lacking. I think I see... This is the key... This attitude.
I get that I have to go. If it means I go crazy or whatever... Build up my exposure gradually... My ability to perform... That is what is about to me.. Actually.. IN some weird way...
Remember this...
The main motivation to finish my PhD: My supervisor will actually read it and tell me what he (really!) thinks. Which will... Help my understanding immensely.
I could have finished up years ago most places else... But I'd never had th is opportunity still in front of me.
I want to do med. But if I don't get to... It's okay. I see a future direction for my life...
But still... I wish I understood better why you blocked me. Because it still hurts. And I don't.
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 27, 2013, at 13:39:09
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by alexandra_k on December 26, 2013, at 3:53:48
> OK - fair enough. Please tell us what has changed in your thinking since "back then".
>
> RonnjeeIt's still evolving, but maybe one way to look at it is: Back then: shield posters (and give them a refuge for a day). Now: support them in shielding themselves and each other (and give them a refuge for a lifetime).
--
> somewhat as I understand it I can think about me but not what someone else says?
>
> PhillipaI can't, and wouldn't want to, control what you think. The idea is it can be more civil to post about yourself than about someone else.
--
> > If you say you think someone's stupid, they might feel put down, so I'd consider that uncivil. But if you say you think you back down easily, that's about you, not anybody else. And saying you feel angry, or whatever, is about you, too.
>
> things can get tricky, though.
>
> i guess because boundaries are porous. our feelings and beliefs and perceptions are an interface between ourself and things that lie outside ourself including other people. we have feelings about them and beliefs about them and we perceive them to be certain ways. it can be really hard to disentangle the mess of where one person starts or stops and another begins. i mean they are my feelings and beliefs and perceptions and in a sense they say more about me than they say about you. but of course my feelings and beliefs and perceptions about / of you are about / of you = they represent you.
>
> and your particular views on this ... isn't consensus at all. or isn't the standard line. or anything like that. and why is it okay to be uncivil to yourself anyway? i don't get that.
>
> ?
>
> i guess things seem to be different now. but i don't really know. i don't know. maybe it is better for me not to think overly much on this.> *IMportant caveat... I do think I could have been nurtured more. And that would have resulted in increased productivity from me. But lets compare that situation with me vs that situation with my supervisor. What he produced with the time he had (with fairly minimal supervising of me) vs what I would have achieved with more input...
>
> Things get hard...
>
> And I... Don't begrudge. Because I've learned a f*ck*ng lot, actually. ANd: If I wrote it up: He would read it. And... Wow. He would. And eventually approve / sign off on it. So... What am I bitching about?????
>
> But still... I wish I understood better why you blocked me. Because it still hurts. And I don't.
>
> alexandra_kBeing uncivil to others makes the community less supportive, but being uncivil to oneself doesn't.
Maybe my view on civility isn't a consensus, but I do try to explain it, and to be consistent (and at the same time open to change).
It can be hard to disentangle the other side, too. My feelings and beliefs and perceptions may say more about me than you, but they may say something about you, too, and may affect how I treat you, which may affect you.
Maybe I could've been more nurturing and not blocked you. I don't remember the details. Was my tolerance too low? I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm in this crucible, too.
Bob
Posted by alexandra_k on December 27, 2013, at 20:08:49
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 27, 2013, at 13:39:09
thanks for taking the time. and thanks for still being here. and thanks for... letting me still be here. i managed to lay off the beer... but i discovered the wine. which is probably worse, actually. anyway... my mates brought me a slow cooker. :)
Posted by Phillipa on December 27, 2013, at 20:48:22
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 27, 2013, at 13:39:09
Suppose I think someone it right or hit the nail on the head as the saying goes. That's not uncivil. Wouldn't it sound somewhat silly then to say I feel you could or might be right? Rather wishy washy to me? Phillipa
Posted by HomelyCygnet on December 31, 2013, at 10:26:26
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 27, 2013, at 13:39:09
Posted by HomelyCygnet on January 1, 2014, at 12:19:56
In reply to There, I was led into temptation, posted by Dinah on December 9, 2013, at 12:50:03
might be a better literary selection for you to consider Bob. Do you take any responsibity at all for your years of mismanagement and failed leadership ? What did you get out of manipulating these self righteous former deputies and their friends into becoming a lynch mob after Lou?
> Thanks a lot, Dr. Bob.
>
> I actually do regret that. I expect better from myself.
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 3, 2014, at 21:03:41
In reply to The Man Who Corrupted Hadleyburg, posted by HomelyCygnet on January 1, 2014, at 12:19:56
> > The idea is it can be more civil to post about yourself than about someone else.
>
> Suppose I think someone it right or hit the nail on the head as the saying goes. That's not uncivil. Wouldn't it sound somewhat silly then to say I feel you could or might be right? Rather wishy washy to me?
>
> PhillipaGood point, maybe I should've said the idea is it can be more civil to post something negative about yourself than about someone else.
--
> Do you take any responsibity at all for your years of mismanagement and failed leadership ?
>
> HomelyCygnetI take full responsibility for all my years of management and leadership, failures and successes both.
Bob
Posted by Phillipa on January 3, 2014, at 22:50:35
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on January 3, 2014, at 21:03:41
Isn't it a negative to down one's self though? Bad for your self-esteem? Rather depressing? Just running thoughts by?
Posted by SLS on January 4, 2014, at 5:26:01
In reply to Re: a crucible » Dr. Bob, posted by Phillipa on January 3, 2014, at 22:50:35
> Isn't it a negative to down one's self though? Bad for your self-esteem? Rather depressing? Just running thoughts by?
You don't have to "down oneself" to recognize areas that you might want to improve on. Be constructive in the process of self-improvement. Make a better you. Your self-esteem will improve greatly. I think you have what it takes.
Very important: The failure to attain a goal is not a failure at all. Setting a goal is your first success. Trying and failing is a success. Pat yourself on the back for trying and failing. Just trying is a success. Asking for help is another success. Persistence and resilience is a gift. Patience can be learned. The wisdom of patience comes in knowing that one must give Time time to work.
What, if any, improvements have you made since you first began posting here? Mine are many, and I owe much of it to Psycho-Babble and Dr. Bob. I'm sure some people will berate me for saying that, but I really don't give a F.
Take the best and throw out the rest.
- Scott
Posted by 10derheart on January 4, 2014, at 16:14:49
In reply to The Man Who Corrupted Hadleyburg, posted by HomelyCygnet on January 1, 2014, at 12:19:56
>> these self righteous former deputies and their friends into becoming a lynch mob after Lou?
I feel severely put down by these comments. I also wonder if you truly believe this description, in your heart of hearts?
Would you consider apologizing? Can't we disagree on PB administration methods, rules, philosophies, etc. without name-calling and hyperbole about groups that chase down and murder others? Dialog is stifled in a ad hominem atmosphere, isn't it?
Posted by HomelyCygnet on January 4, 2014, at 18:04:09
In reply to Re: The Man Who Corrupted Hadleyburg » HomelyCygnet, posted by 10derheart on January 4, 2014, at 16:14:49
Well I didn't mean it literally. But I meant the spirit of intolerance and the gang mentality. Do I believe you and Dinah are/were self righteous?
Do I ever!*SNORT* But I still think Bob used you badly. I think he is manipulating you even now by holding off on my block trying to force you to "shield" each other ;} And you fell for it didn't you? Maybe he'll post a smarmy little 'thanks' to you.
Wouldn't it have been less distressing for everyone just to give me the block I asked for?
Why do you think Dr Psycho won't allow voluntary blocks . I thought the little episode of your asking for a block and Dr P refusing and offering to discuss your "sin" was demeaning for everyone involved.Did you push the snitch button on me? See we both want the same thing! LOL
Best wishes
> >> these self righteous former deputies and their friends into becoming a lynch mob after Lou?
>
> I feel severely put down by these comments. I also wonder if you truly believe this description, in your heart of hearts?
>
> Would you consider apologizing? Can't we disagree on PB administration methods, rules, philosophies, etc. without name-calling and hyperbole about groups that chase down and murder others? Dialog is stifled in a ad hominem atmosphere, isn't it?
Posted by alexandra_k on January 4, 2014, at 18:51:54
In reply to Re: The Man Who Corrupted Hadleyburg » 10derheart, posted by HomelyCygnet on January 4, 2014, at 18:04:09
what is the difference between a voluntary block and simply choosing not to post?
Posted by HomelyCygnet on January 4, 2014, at 19:08:41
In reply to Re: The Man Who Corrupted Hadleyburg, posted by alexandra_k on January 4, 2014, at 18:51:54
Posted by alexandra_k on January 4, 2014, at 19:17:25
In reply to what do you think? (nm) » alexandra_k, posted by HomelyCygnet on January 4, 2014, at 19:08:41
i think choosing not to post means that you are responsible for your not posting. getting bob to block you for posting makes him responsible (at least in part) for your not posting.
which is perhaps something to do when you feel like it is his fault you don't want to post.
what do you think?
Posted by HomelyCygnet on January 4, 2014, at 20:01:11
In reply to Re: what do you think? » HomelyCygnet, posted by alexandra_k on January 4, 2014, at 19:17:25
I think Alex is talking about Alex (as usual) :) Don't worry about it.
Civil disobedience? Solidarity with people abused by Dr Psycho and his Babblers? Not having the pressure of feeling an urge to defend Lou and others from the haters and really not being able to do anything effective? Not being a member vs not being an posting member? The fun of manipulating the Grand Manipulator? Repudiating the hateful values of babble? All of the above?
> i think choosing not to post means that you are responsible for your not posting. getting bob to block you for posting makes him responsible (at least in part) for your not posting.
>
> which is perhaps something to do when you feel like it is his fault you don't want to post.
>
> what do you think?
Posted by SLS on January 4, 2014, at 20:04:20
In reply to Re: The Man Who Corrupted Hadleyburg » HomelyCygnet, posted by 10derheart on January 4, 2014, at 16:14:49
Dear 10derheart,
I hope you are doing well.
I am doing wonderfully.
I hope this post finds you smiling.
:-)
Do you find me to be grandiose?
This is not boring.
This is just very, very old.
I hope you haven't been hurt. Actually, I don't expect that you would be. You have shown quite a bit of strength and resilience in recent times - along with an impressive pair of cojones.
Am I a bully?
You can tell me. I can take it. Nothing can hurt me, anyway. Remember, I am grandiose.
- Scott
Posted by 10derheart on January 4, 2014, at 20:10:58
In reply to Re: The Man Who Corrupted Hadleyburg » 10derheart, posted by HomelyCygnet on January 4, 2014, at 18:04:09
?? Can anyone enforce rules and standards or help with that *without* being self-righteous? I don't know. When I got a ticket for having a light burned out (and I was borrowing someone's car and didn't even know about it) I didn't think because the officer reminded me to follow safety rules that he was being sanctimonious or morally superior to me. Isn't that what it's supposed to mean? I don't understand. what good are people's values if they *aren't* confident in promoting them?
alright then. I'd rather you stay and interact. Maybe we could find common ground, but it's your choice. With Dr. Bob's unique timing and unclear civility rules, you may get to stay and post some more :-)
I guess it's confusing that you want to be blocked (= cannot post) yet you keep posting. But maybe not. I guess I kind of did the same thing.
Of course I reported your post(s). I report posts I see that are uncivil when I see them. Snitch? It's not a negative thing to me.
I didn't fall for anything. I know what he wants now since he (sort of) explained his current style of "administrating." Not to mention when he answered my notification he didn't say yes/no to what he might do but asked me a question about my pet(s) ???
I just thought I'd give communicating with you a try. I never even think of anyone shielding me. I think the wisest are those who stay the hell out of these threads completely.
I hope the people you want to feel supported by your visits and blocks feel that way and get it.
Posted by HomelyCygnet on January 4, 2014, at 20:36:26
In reply to Re: The Man Who Corrupted Hadleyburg » HomelyCygnet, posted by 10derheart on January 4, 2014, at 20:10:58
Doesn't it bother you that he blocked twinleaf for 2 weeks? He seems threatened by anyone who questions him.
That's not fair is it? I see him as trying to set posters against each other by being inconsistent.
I also feel like we are being used. I imagine him churning out one of his thirdrate "research" papers about disruptive posters. He's so manipulative. He snips out quotes out of context and bathes himself in sunshine. Yuck.
I think if you REALLY hate this kind of thread you should stay off. I seem to see all kinds of people who decry the drama nevertheless show up and join in!
Best regards to your pets!
Posted by HomelyCygnet on January 4, 2014, at 20:48:18
In reply to Re: The Man Who Corrupted Hadleyburg » 10derheart, posted by HomelyCygnet on January 4, 2014, at 20:36:26
I am reposting the post you blocked twinleaf for. Equality and consistency for all! I demand my block. I'd also like it doubled for insulting a privileged class by reporting to all DEPUTY RACER HAS A HUGE HUGE HUGE BUTT!!!!!
Thanks for your prompt consideration.
I think the loss could have been easily avoided if she had been given appropriate recognition and respect by you for the important role she played in trying to help carry out your administrative policies. The last series of posts before she blocked herself seemed to me to be completely lacking in appreciation and respect for her and the other deputies ... all while you were ... breaking your own long-standing administrative policies .
Posted by 10derheart on January 4, 2014, at 21:30:29
In reply to HEY BOB LOOK AT THIS! TURN ME IN 10der!!!!!, posted by HomelyCygnet on January 4, 2014, at 20:48:18
I will assume you have no idea of Racer's disorder and challenges and this is some freakish coincidence.
However, if I'm wrong...that's way, way beyond the pale. In fact, it's sick.
I hope Racer has long ago stopped looking at these threads :-((
Posted by Homelycygnet on January 5, 2014, at 6:56:23
In reply to Re: HEY BOB LOOK AT THIS! TURN ME IN 10der!!!!! » HomelyCygnet, posted by 10derheart on January 4, 2014, at 21:30:29
I AM sick (thanks for your charming analysis of my post. Bob is the one who posts the rump shots of his travels to see his babblers. I don't make the news I just report it) and I want to spend whatever time is left to me without being a member of "Babble" Is that so much to ask?
> I will assume you have no idea of Racer's disorder and challenges and this is some freakish coincidence.
>
> However, if I'm wrong...that's way, way beyond the pale. In fact, it's sick.
>
> I hope Racer has long ago stopped looking at these threads :-((
>
>
>
>
Posted by SLS on January 5, 2014, at 7:09:50
In reply to make a wish, posted by Homelycygnet on January 5, 2014, at 6:56:23
I wish I weren't so angry at you.
I wish you weren't so angry at me.
I wish you health and happiness.
I wish you peace.
- Scott
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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