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Posted by Gabbix2 on January 21, 2005, at 16:17:38
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's » Atticus, posted by Gabbix2 on January 21, 2005, at 15:58:58
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 21, 2005, at 16:19:53
In reply to Lou's response to Atticus' post-undrLu, posted by Lou Pilder on January 21, 2005, at 15:50:05
Please forget I said anything, it's water under the bridge and really not important enough for me to be raving on about I think I need to go for a walk, yeah, that's it... outside.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 17:32:50
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's » Fallen4MyT, posted by Atticus on January 21, 2005, at 15:43:54
Atticus I agree with you on the "idea" I am totally against it.... I am guilty of MANY ZANY silly posts. I love to lol and sometimes (you are soooo right) it is more needed and cathartic.
I was concerned not that this line of jokes was in Admin but it was under someone's *serious* thread.> And Lou's gotten a reply from Dr. Bob. I still think this idea smells to high heaven. (And a little humor never hurts to leaven a situation with perspective, I think. See my above post to Bob.) Atticus
Posted by malthus on January 21, 2005, at 17:55:37
In reply to Lous' response to -list of criteria-24/7, posted by Lou Pilder on January 21, 2005, at 15:06:42
> There is a suggestion that one post directly to the poster vs posting to a third party,(directly to you)is not supportive.
> Well, I tried that and there is a large body of objections to me requesting clarification about what someone wrote either to me or about something relevant to me in the archives. I do agree that to post directly has its merits, but I also think that there is the potential for conflict because of the potential for there to be confrontation.
> OTOH, posting to the admin. board has also posts objecting to that in the archives.
> I propose the following:
> That there be appointed 12 spacific deputys in charge of objections to posts by other posters. The deputys will have 1 hour to respond to an email to the objection or request for a determination. Each deputy could have their own specialty and be on call durring their 2 hour convieniant times to answer objections to posts.
> They will reply accordingly and there could be an appeal to Dr. Hsiung. I can think of many posters here that have particular expertise in distinct areas to handle calls for objections by other posters. I think that this has the potential to prevent confrontation and at the same time avoid the admin. board to have it there. Am I on the right track?
> LouAre you directing this question to me Lou? I have struggled with feeling ignored most of my life and continue to. I had reservations about even posting about how ignored I felt in that previous thread. I was afraid nobody would respond to what I said. And that is exactly what happened. Not one poster in this thread has replied to me directly about what I am GENUINELY feeling and that is really hurtful. I'm remembering what it feels like being on the outside looking in and trying to break into a clique. Ugh!! I know this all has roots in my past and that this is an issue I struggle with at work and in my own family. I know I don't post that much but I was hoping for some "mutual support". I am truly fragile and disappointed right now. It's sadly ironic to me that this whole thread is about supporting others in a mental health forum and that I feel the way I do.
malthus
Posted by Lou Pilder on January 21, 2005, at 18:09:51
In reply to Re: Lous' response to -list of criteria-24/7, posted by malthus on January 21, 2005, at 17:55:37
Malthus,
You wrote,[...are you directing this question to me,Lou?..] and, [...in that {previous} thread...]. Could you give me the first URL in the {previous} thread that you are referring to?
Lou
Posted by Lou Pilder on January 21, 2005, at 18:19:51
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's » Atticus, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 17:32:50
F4MT,
You wrote,[...was concerned...under someone's serious thread...].
There is a lot to consider in this situation as you point out. Am I to understand that you are considering these type of posts in question to be diverting the thread's initial question and possibly considering them to constitute "shifting the focus"? If you could reply to that , then I could understand if that is what you mean.
Lou
Posted by gardenergirl on January 21, 2005, at 18:42:18
In reply to Re: Lous' response to -list of criteria-24/7, posted by malthus on January 21, 2005, at 17:55:37
Ugh, you are right malthus. What happened here seems to be exactly what you described as feeling hurtful to you. I'm sorry your suggestions were overlooked by me, and perhaps others. I admit to suffering from mental laziness right now. I only seem to be posting brief, and usually silly posts, because actually composing something supportive and thoughtful feels like too much. (I'm way behind on work and all I can do in leisure time is veg out.)
My own reaction when I read your post was that your suggestions have some merit. I prefer direct communication myself. I admit to being less enthusiastic about the idea of a published list of criteria for what is considered to be supportive. I think each situation, each poster, and each person who replies contributes something to the end result (a post which may or may not be supportive), and this would make for an almost infinite number of possible supportive responses. And I think what is not supportive is not always clear, either. Some of us are looking for someone to validate our feelings, some of us would like solutions or suggestions for action, and some of us want both or don't know what we are looking for...we just need something.
I think assessing this is more of an art than a science.
warmly,
gg
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 19:44:31
In reply to Lou's response to Fallen4MyT's post-shiftfocus? » Fallen4MyT, posted by Lou Pilder on January 21, 2005, at 18:19:51
Yes Lou I was a little concerned on the focus to your thread and a lot concerned on if it would hurt your feelings..But as I saw you and GG joke on it I feel better and know you were not offended. Right?
> F4MT,
> You wrote,[...was concerned...under someone's serious thread...].
> There is a lot to consider in this situation as you point out. Am I to understand that you are considering these type of posts in question to be diverting the thread's initial question and possibly considering them to constitute "shifting the focus"? If you could reply to that , then I could understand if that is what you mean.
> Lou
>
Posted by Lou Pilder on January 21, 2005, at 20:11:20
In reply to Re: Lou's response to Fallen4MyT's post-shiftfocus? » Lou Pilder, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 19:44:31
F4MT,
You wrote,[...and concerned if it would hurt...].
Thanks for putting yourself in my shoes. Is there a concern that the posts in question could have the potential to be considered to constitute a breach of the forum's goals of support and education?
Lou
Posted by Atticus on January 21, 2005, at 21:50:58
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's » Atticus, posted by Gabbix2 on January 21, 2005, at 15:58:58
Gabbi,
It seems to me that if Lou wasn't offended and clearly understood the humorous intent, it begs the question as to why you insist on being offended on his behalf. I think Lou is more perceptive than you're giving him credit for, and gg and I are both known for snarky, silly posts not meant to hurt anyone. I feel like you're trying to start a disagreement here that didn't exist between Lou and I in the first place. And in any case, if it makes you feel better, I'll make it a point never to respond to any of your posts, lest you don't see the humor. Atticus
Posted by Atticus on January 21, 2005, at 21:59:12
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's » Atticus, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 17:32:50
Yet the question I posed to Gabbi remains: Why pick a fight on behalf of someone who clearly got the jokes by gg and myself, was not offended by them, offered witty responses, and in the end got a serious answer from Dr. Bob before you even posted this. If I were Lou, I might be a bit offended that both you and Gabbi appeared to have such a low opinion of my mental acuity that you felt you had to intervene on my behalf. To me, that's worse than a joke that jiggles a thread a bit. Atticus
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 21, 2005, at 22:00:46
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's » Gabbix2, posted by Atticus on January 21, 2005, at 21:50:58
> Gabbi,
> It seems to me that if Lou wasn't offended and clearly understood the humorous intent, it begs the question as to why you insist on being offended on his behalf.I had realized what that's what I was doing and that's why I posted a second time to you Atticus, that I needed to get outside, crack open a window or something, maybe my second post didn't come across the way it was intended. It was both an acknowledgement that I was getting in your business, and an awareness that I was making it look like I wasn't giving lou enough credit, something I don't think I'm guilty of, though it did look like that here. I guess what I'm saying is I'm sorry. I goofed.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 22:10:23
In reply to Lou's reply to Fallen4MyT-supedu » Fallen4MyT, posted by Lou Pilder on January 21, 2005, at 20:11:20
Ah heck I dunno Lou I was just not wanting you to feel sad is all
> F4MT,
> You wrote,[...and concerned if it would hurt...].
> Thanks for putting yourself in my shoes. Is there a concern that the posts in question could have the potential to be considered to constitute a breach of the forum's goals of support and education?
> Lou
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 22:13:37
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's » Fallen4MyT, posted by Atticus on January 21, 2005, at 21:59:12
Atticus if you look up way up you will see my post hit before GG's and Lou's banter. I think highly of Lou and would have chili with him any day :)
> Yet the question I posed to Gabbi remains: Why pick a fight on behalf of someone who clearly got the jokes by gg and myself, was not offended by them, offered witty responses, and in the end got a serious answer from Dr. Bob before you even posted this. If I were Lou, I might be a bit offended that both you and Gabbi appeared to have such a low opinion of my mental acuity that you felt you had to intervene on my behalf. To me, that's worse than a joke that jiggles a thread a bit. Atticus
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 21, 2005, at 22:22:23
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's » Atticus, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 22:13:37
If I were Lou, I might be a bit offended that both you and Gabbi appeared to have such a low opinion of my mental acuity that you felt you had to intervene on my behalf.
That's just not true. People have intervened on my behalf before and I've appreciated it, and I've done it for others, it has absolutely nothing to do with my opinion of their mental acuity or vice versa, there are lots of reasons someone might be compelled to do such a thing.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 22:30:47
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's » Fallen4MyT, posted by Gabbix2 on January 21, 2005, at 22:22:23
Lou thanked me for putting myself in his shoes thus he knew my TRUE intent..I would as I said before have had no issue or fear on these jokes had they been placed after a thread on the social boards not derailing a serious post. Dr Bob has always asked we keep it Admin on this board..until now. I support and stick up for a lot of posters and always will.
> If I were Lou, I might be a bit offended that both you and Gabbi appeared to have such a low opinion of my mental acuity that you felt you had to intervene on my behalf.
>
> That's just not true. People have intervened on my behalf before and I've appreciated it, and I've done it for others, it has absolutely nothing to do with my opinion of their mental acuity or vice versa, there are lots of reasons someone might be compelled to do such a thing.
>
Posted by Atticus on January 21, 2005, at 22:42:26
In reply to Re: list of criteria » Dr. Bob, posted by malthus on January 21, 2005, at 6:12:03
It is always nicer to be the recipient of a direct response than to have your post used as merely a springboard for discussion among others. This problem does seem rather endemic to this site, and the only answer I can come up with is the existence of so many mini-cliques. I don't think these are usually meant to be malicious, but are rather the result of people who are more comfortable talking to their established friends on the site. Nonetheless, you're right: feeling excluded from a thread you've started, rather than a participant in it, seriously s*cks. Maybe people here could make more of an effort to communicate with the names that are not as familiar. I know you haven't been a frequent poster recently, Malthus, but that shouldn't matter. People might be surprised what results when they welcome someone into their discussion circle -- they might even make a great new friend.
Atticus
Posted by Atticus on January 21, 2005, at 22:54:54
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 22:30:47
Gabbi,
The bottom line remains: the one-off jokes by gg and myself did NOT end up derailing the post. Lou got his response from Dr. Bob, the very one he was seeking. So it seems from my perspective that for you to accuse me of derailing the post is disengenuous. The jokes did no harm. Most jokes don't on PB. Since Lou is satisfied, and is not offended or has not expressed frustration to me on any level about the post being "derailed," I have to ask: Why are you keeping this up? More to the point, I guess, why am I keeping this up. I'm going to consider the matter closed. All that's occurring here, in my opinion, is the beating of a dead horse. And besides, you could have supported Lou without laying into me. Have you considered that possibility? I still feel that your defense of Lou went, IMHO, over the top. You leapt in to criticize gg and myself before you even gave Lou a CHANCE to respond himself. Atticus, over and out
Posted by gardenergirl on January 21, 2005, at 22:56:48
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's » Atticus, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 22:13:37
> I think highly of Lou and would have chili with him any day :)
Oh lordy, you don't know what you are in for with the chili that's the specialty around here. Sorry, Lou. I just can't get used to chili without beans. And Goetta? Gotta pass.
;)
gg
Posted by Atticus on January 21, 2005, at 23:00:31
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's » Fallen4MyT, posted by Atticus on January 21, 2005, at 22:54:54
And for God's sake, we're actually talking about a handful of silly and sophomoric brassiere jokes, here. I can hardly believe I've put as much time and effort into having to defend myself over doing something so g*ddamned trivial. Jesus wept. I won't be responding to any further posts from either you or Gabbix if this is what I can expect. I'll just take the hit, thank you, however much I may disagree with it. Atticus
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 23:14:33
In reply to chili with Lou » Fallen4MyT, posted by gardenergirl on January 21, 2005, at 22:56:48
lol but i like beans....no beans :(
> > I think highly of Lou and would have chili with him any day :)
>
> Oh lordy, you don't know what you are in for with the chili that's the specialty around here. Sorry, Lou. I just can't get used to chili without beans. And Goetta? Gotta pass.
>
> ;)
>
> gg
>
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 23:16:44
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's » Fallen4MyT, posted by Atticus on January 21, 2005, at 22:54:54
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 23:20:12
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's » Atticus, posted by Atticus on January 21, 2005, at 23:00:31
.> And for God's sake, we're actually talking about a handful of silly and sophomoric brassiere jokes, here. I can hardly believe I've put as much time and effort into having to defend myself over doing something so g*ddamned trivial. Jesus wept. I won't be responding to any further posts from either you or Gabbix if this is what I can expect. I'll just take the hit, thank you, however much I may disagree with it. Atticus
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 22, 2005, at 1:54:30
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's » Atticus, posted by Atticus on January 21, 2005, at 23:00:31
> And for God's sake, we're actually talking about a handful of silly and sophomoric brassiere jokes, here. I can hardly believe I've put as much time and effort into having to defend myself over doing something so g*ddamned trivial.
Why on earth did you think you had to defend yourself when I posted once and then apologized before you even responded?
Whatever...
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 22, 2005, at 3:55:58
In reply to Re: jokes are funny but not in admin or under Lou's » Atticus, posted by Atticus on January 21, 2005, at 23:00:31
> you insist on being offended on his behalf... I feel like you're trying to start a disagreement here
> for you to accuse me of derailing the post is disengenuous... your defense of Lou went, IMHO, over the top.
> silly and sophomoric brassiere jokes
Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
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