Posted by sadienan on March 27, 2008, at 15:00:04
Greetings- I'm new here but have been a lurker for a long time.
I have a degree in Psychology but that did nothing to prevent me from falling into problems with psych. meds. (And, of course, problems with myself)Around age 30, I was finally diagnosed with Panic Disorder. It runs in my family- maternal side. My Mom drank to deal with hers. I really suffered with them all through school.
Developed an eating disorder at 14- which lasted about half a year.I had "anorexia" and it seemed to get rid of the anxiety I always had-strange, I know. I quit the anorexia when threatened by a family member to stop. Never had psychological treatment.
Anyway- finally had the Panic Disorder diagnosed around age 30- I was having severe hbp, shaking, vomiting.diarrhea, and a feeling of PERIL which could arise at any moment. Worst attack was out in the yard gardening in the sun. Yet I could drive the GW Bridge and NOT have an attack.
I saw several psychiatrists who confirmed the diagnosis. Breathing exercises did NOTHING. Relaxation tapes were a joke (yet at work I was using them for my clients.)
Sometimes it got so bad at work I would feign illness and lock myself in my office for the duration of the attack.
Needless to say- Xanax was presented as the cure. I took half the amount the dr. prescribed but stayed on the stuff about 8 years. By this time I was getting horrible headaches when the pill-piece was wearing off ( I was down to .125) but an alleviation of the headache when I took the pill. I found out that the headache was HBP. Dr. tried me on all kinds of pills for that- settled on Clonidine as it was so high periodically.
I foolishly decided to cold-turkey the xanax. My doctor said I was on such a tiny amount I probably would not notice a thing. So I quit.
I stayed off of them about a week- the worst week I can ever imagine. No sleep. Shaking. The ground moving under me. Horrific headaches. Symptoms would build up then subside=- then build up again- worse---finally I broke down and called a rehab and they came and got me. I'm glad I did!
I had an episode of my face and arm getting numb- they took my BP and it was 200/120 ! I was scared. They gave me a shot of phenobarbital along with clonidine- enough to knock out a horse, they said, but I was still so hyper I could not sleep even tho the BP went down to reasonable levels.
Finally- as I had not slept since entering the facility- they knocked me out with a med called "Placydl". It did the trick.
They put me on Prozac and told me that it blocked panic attacks. They suggested I use benadryl for anxiety and sleep. Sure enough- after a few more months of shakiness and sweaty palms, their regimen kicked in.
I was proud of myself- I felt free. And the Prozac worked!
However, there is always a new drug around the corner. Some years later, going thru a stressful time, a new Dr. put me on Klonopin. He said one could easily withdraw from this and that most people with panic disorder preferred it to Xanax.
Well, after awhile I got ornery and decided I did not want to take Benzos. The Dr. said "if you had diabetes you'd take insulin. You have panic disorder you need benzos." Well, I tapered them down and out and several weeks later the w/d set in- much the same as the Xanax but slower...and it was back to the rehab for me!
Then they put me on Seroquel for sleep. 600 milligrams per night. I weighed 120 and was 5 foot 6. Well, within a year I weighed 170 (and I was NOT eating anymore).
Then I read up on Seroquel and decided to get off of it. I contacted a good doctor who was appalled I was on 600 milligrams. I cut it to 300 and did not notice anything but when I got into the lower levels 100-150 mg- I noticed difficulty sleeping and nightmares and anxiety. So what I finally did was stupid, perhaps, but I was desperate just to be me again.
I still had some Klonopin hanging around. I took it (1mg)about a week as I reduced then quit the Seroquel. Then I threw out the Klonopin. I remain on the Prozac.
I moved from NY to CT and consulted a new, highly recommended psychiatrist. Both my parents died suddenly in my prescense and other traumatic issues occurred at the same time, including a corrupt attorney, a troubled son, and a daughter who felt "sick" when she looked at mother's day cards because they made her feel guilty.
The new Dr. said that I have ADHD and wanted to put me on Adderall! Now that is an amphetamine. For now- I said no thanks- but I wonder is it possible I was misdiagnosed all those years and was really hyper and anxious from ADHD?
I would be interested in any feedback from you folks. I feel I have blabbed on long enough here and am probably boring you. However, I will NEVER again take or withdraw from a psych drug w/o finding a doctor experienced in these issues.
And I am 55 years old and it took me that long to figure it out....at least in part! Thank you for your time. I can be a support to anyone going through Benzo w/d.
poster:sadienan
thread:820168
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/wdrawl/20080220/msgs/820168.html