Posted by bigcat on March 8, 2006, at 21:06:00 [reposted on March 11, 2006, at 10:54:28 | original URL]
i had been taking effexor for 3 1/2 months with partial, fleeting success, constantly having to raise the dose just to regain what ended up being little more than my "average" depressive state. A few weeks ago, recognizing the futility of chasing the dose up and understanding that I had no stable "future" with the drug, I tried coming off it. I came down from 375mgs (where I had been for a few weeks)and was doing pretty good for a few days, but maybe a week after I had taken my last pill, I entered into a severe depressive state. It was extremely painful and spooked me, so I went back on the effexor. About a week later, I decided I would just suck it up and deal with an awful withdrawal, get it out of my system for good. This is the decision I made and that I am going to stick with. It has been 11 days since I took an Effexor. All 11 of these days have been equally bad. Today was as bad, if not worse than yesterday. Each day I get up thinking, "ok, this has to start easing up". I can fully appreciate the advice to "go back on a small dose and wean off EXTREMELY SLOWLY". Basically, I think it's gonna suck any way I do it, and now that I've been clean for 11 days, I don't want to touch the stuff.
My only "withdrawal" symptom is this worsening of the depression, where the suffering and anxiety just become increadibly intense and overpowering. I can't even speak my head is so clouded with this throbbing misery. There are no phsysiological withdrawal symptoms like nausea, sweating, headaches etc. I just feel really, really low, with the anxiety and obsessive self-awareness and hatred on full blast. It's coming up on two weeks since I had any in my system, and I thought I would have turned the corner by now. How long do you expect this to last? I have years of experience taking every kind of psych drug imaginable, and recall many instances of the depression becoming profoundly more intense upon discontinuing a drug, but I am literally NO better, probably even a little worse than I was the first week I stopped taking it. My normal depressive state, which is pretty darn sh*tty let me tell you, is still miles better than this. I'm living a 24/7 panic attack. Tell it to me like it is- don't be afraid to be the bearer of bad news. How long?
And while I'm here, what d'yall think about anafrinil/clomipramine? My first psych issue to surface was undiognosed OCD which hit about 15 years ago, the depression settling in and closing out my mind about five years after that. While the "classic" OCD symptoms have largely diminished over the years, my depression has always been highlighted by severe anxiety, obsessive and incessant worrying, and social phobia. My mind is so loud, and all my energy is channelled into worrying, to the point where no original thoughts can arise. i don't have access to my mind. i'm stoned into stupidity, have no memory or ability to concentrate whatsoever, and can only say the most mundane things. Every day just presents new ways to experience the same brand of horror. I've heard anafrinil can take a long time to start working, and in previous trials, I never took it for more than a month, and tolerated it ok (no major side effects).
Another part of me says to screw meds altogether. Either way, I'm going to start CBT and take some Fish Oil 'cause I got nothing to lose but my paychecks at this point. I hate feeling so powerless and watch from the sidelines as my "life" moves on without me. thanks for listening my friends.
-matt-
poster:bigcat
thread:618788
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/wdrawl/20060228/msgs/618788.html