Posted by cockeyed on September 16, 2005, at 20:24:56
Hi, I've sort've, kind've, you know...give up the love of my life-booze. I thought I'd found god in my first three pitchers of good beer.
But these days it's just numbness, waste of money, and my health that I fear.
Okay, that said, I'd like to get back to A.A.
For almost ten years not a drop, some said a dry drunk. But Whatever happened my boozing came to a stop.
But I've changed and the meetings. WEll I feel strange, a doubting hypocrite. I'm sick of the happy stories, I've changed and now don't believe a bit of it.
But I know my self and know I'm full of sh*t.
I gotta get back. But how to go about it? I'm an anger monger, I get up and walk out. In AA one does not say "no" But put on the goody-goody
spot, my response is, expletive deleted, I think not. I was raised in a "do what I say" family and for me it's not okay to do whatever
"they" say.
But it worked before: I just don't wan't to get picked for the "super-star de jour" I don't want to drink. But I don't trust the so-called fellowship.
Anyway, how can I "fake it 'til I make it"
Any hints? Cockeyed.
poster:cockeyed
thread:555816
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/wdrawl/20050822/msgs/555816.html