Posted by ariel on July 16, 2005, at 15:50:58
In reply to Re: Unbelievable -- no Effexor w/d symptoms! » ariel, posted by angelbean on July 16, 2005, at 14:59:20
> Hi Ariel. I wish I had some good advice for you.
AB: what do you mean "wish"? your advice is <excellent>.
>
> I've found that talking to people really helps.Yup, I'm on the same page. Only my circle is pretty small these days, now that I've been retired for 5 years. i call myself a semi-recluse -- after working FT for 25 yrs, i (usually) find it a joy to just stay home with my dog. i was in a busy and demanding public service job and i do not miss having to be available every minute of those work days. what i do to stay in touch is to email a couple of close friends. they always understand, altho, like you, i'm the "strong" one to them, the one who's the advice dispensor, not vice versa. still, they're there to read my occasional cries for help, even if they'd rather have the shoe on the other foot. i've been divorced for as long as i've been retired and the only thing about the marriage i miss is having someone here 24/7 to listen.
> I think it's a good thing that you took a little extra dosage to get you through the hard time. But I'm afraid there will always be something unforeseen coming up
yikes! here i am wringing my hands over my kid leaving for a vacation and there you are with some real heavy, heavy duty stuff! wow! and not having any insurance! is there anything in your area where you can see a mental health worker for free or on a sliding scale? it took me years and years to realize that talk therapy is the key. one session with my therapist helps me more than a bottle of effexor. it was she who told me that effexor doesn't "fix" anything, that if i succumb to depression, the pill is useless (that was the beginning, last year, of my realization that i was wasting my money on this stuff). she's a cognitive behaviorist, btw. she believes that the key to NOT getting depressed is to be mindful of feelings. so, yesterday, when i was going thru the kleenex, i also told myself that i felt sh*tty, that i was sad, that i was lonely, that i couldn't wish it away, and that it was there for as long as it would be there. while i was crying, i let all the crap come up, most of which has to do with my worry over my son (he's not a teenager any more, but he sure acts like one) and residual lousy feelings over the death of a long term relationship with a man i adore (i'm trying to get this into the past tense -- sometimes it feels over, other times, like yesterday, the hurt felt just as raw as if it was happening right then).
well, anyways, everything you're feeling, you have to feel, give it a name, let it run its course, and, best advice from the therapist i got -- never, ever push it down. hoo, that one's a bitch. like you, one of my friends is usually far more emotionally fragile than me. her depressions last forever. she doesn't get any respite, they go on for like 6 months at a stretch. i help as much as i can with the advice and support. when i feel myself getting compassion fatigue and want to tell her, for God's sake, go shopping or something, i stop writing for a while. better that, then feeling all smug because i can deal better than she can. when that smugness starts to set in, like i said about my feeling so wonderful re my lack of physical w/d symptoms, i am sure to get smacked upside the face.
oh, yeah, and the bottom line for me is to get reconnected with God. i converted to a new religion a couple years ago. i'm a lazy practicioner, but when i actually remember to pray, it makes a difference.
on a more mundane note, i was lucky that i was able to get my pills in 3 month batches with a $20 co-pay. but i could use the $80 a year towards something else. i'm sorry that you had to pay so much. hey, the less we support the giant pharmaceuticals, the better.
the funny thing about my being on effexor for so long is that everyone i know who has tried antipdepressants, has had very little, or no relief, or, worse, thoughts of suicide! i always wondered why they "worked" for me. i now realize they weren't working very well at all. unlike my friends, i had very few initial side effects when i started the pills. hmmm, i wonder if that has something to do with my lack of physical side effects now.
well, like you say, who knows if we're suffering from withdrawal or it's a ntural reaction to the environment. i'm leaning towards the latter. the effexor didn't prevent 3 major depressions over the past 5 years, and, if i'm lucky and do my therapy work, i can prevent any major slides in the future.
and, yes, i'm, older than you. 20 years. i'm also newly menopausal which seems to be making a big difference in my mental state. the 10 year long perimenopausal period frequently wreaked havoc with my moods.
so now i'm going out to take my walk, another big mood elevator.
oh, yeah, the benedryl -- doesn't work for me, altho some people find it knocks them out. i have a scrip for valium. that doesn't work all that well, either, but i take one every so often. i could get a real sleeping pill scrip from my dr. but i don't want to go down that road. since i don't work, so what if i'm up a few hours a night?
i thik the key to dealing with insomnia is to try not to get all agitated over it. do what you're doing -- use the time to go online, or read, or watch tv. it's when you obsess over it that you get in trouble. do have any opportunity to take a short nap during the day? now that you're not working, try the short nap thing. i'm a professional napper. the world would be a better place if everyone slept for a while during the day every day.
poster:ariel
thread:526794
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/wdrawl/20050712/msgs/528637.html