Posted by nekko17 on May 13, 2008, at 21:22:55
In reply to Re: Subutex / buprenorphine, posted by MindReseacher on September 8, 2004, at 22:23:03
i wanted to let anyone who is in Recovery from drug or alcohol addiction and is having trouble staying sober, to know that more than half of addicts/alch are known to have add or adhd. if you are intelligent and it seemed like you would do very well in life when you were young, but you ended up "not reaching your potential" and ended up with addiction and depression for long periods, there might be a good chance you have it. some people feel add or adhd does not exist or psychiatric medication are bad because its just taking more drugs. i thought so, too.
but then i spent years relapsing and was desperate to try anything that might work. i really wanted to get sober but despite AA and NA and therapy, i just couldn't...
so then since i was diagnosed with ADD years before, i tried taking a combination of wellbutrin and adderall. i thought it wouldn't help if i treated my ADD since i was an off and on addict and in bad shape..... well, i was surprised.
treating my ADD had effects i had not anticipated. my impulsiveness went way down, which definitely connected to my urge to use again or relapse. i stopped just "using before i even knew it." it also reduced my anxiety. some people don't realize ADD and ADHD cause chronic anxiety for a variety of reasons. not being so anxious definitely made it easier to stop using drugs ! wellbutrin had a side benefit as a light antidepressant of leveling my mood swings.
for the first time, i felt much more motivated and finally able to show up for meetings, work, appointments, etc. i needed to help myself recover. i could finally show up to help myself ! i could do what i intended and really wanted to do. this is why i believe people when they say they want to get sober, but have tried and just "cant." sometimes you need help. scratch that, WE ALL NEED HELP OF MANY KINDS TO RECOVER ! (and sometimes that help just might be treating ADD or ADHD...)
suffice to say, i finally did achieve long-term sobriety. i have nearly 2 years at this point.
and by the way, never give up. i relapsed a lot, both before and some after i tried these medications. but it got less and less and i became more and more healthy and sane. my life got normal, stable and the old life seemed awful, insane and hectic in comparison. i got here even though it seemed at times like i never would.
i did it with 12-step meetings (*** definitely doing the Steps with a Sponsor is a necessary and important part of it - it did not get this for the first few years and wondered why it wasn't working... duh!) GET AS MUCH HELP FROM AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. by the way, no alcoholic or addict likes asking for help... they all hate it. every single one!!!! but to anyone who got sober and stayed sober, had to do this. i guarantee it. you have to call people for help when you don't even know them. it won't kill you, and hey it's better than wasting your entire life being in pain and misery ! do it, even tho you hate it... you'll be glad you did. a few cold calls are worth a golden life. (for me, therapy was an extra source of help, but i'm sure it's possible without it, too. there are public clinics in every city that have sliding-scale therapy with training interns for as low as $15 or $20 a session. it is worth it.)
i just needed my ADD to be treated before i could even complete the actions i really wanted to do, that i just couldn't seem to do, before i was medicated. (not to mention the fact that not being able to get things done caused me shame and depression my entire life as i blamed myself for being lazy and worthless! i wanted to escape feeling hopeless like this my entire life.)
FOR ALL THAT ARE STRUGGLING TO RECOVER AND GET THERE LIFE BACK:
NEVER GIVE UP. YOUR LIFE AND YOUR FUTURE HAPPINESS DEPENDS ON KEEPING UP THE EFFORT EVEN IF YOU FEEL DISCOURAGED AT TIMES.
AND THERE IS A REASON WHY EVERYONE SAYS YOU GET MORE THAN YOU EVER DREAMED YOU WOULD WHEN YOU DO THIS.... ESSENTIALLY IF YOU REALLY DO THE WORK, YOUR LIFE WILL BE BETTER THAN IT EVER WAS, PERIOD. START LOOKING FOR MENTORS OR TEACHERS WHO ARE STRONG, HAPPY, PRODUCTIVE PEOPLE AND TAKE THEIR ADVISE ON HOW THEY GOT THERE. (i know not everyone in AA or NA is disapointment-proof. everyone is human, and some are further along than others. choose the best you can, then stick to that person unless they are abusive or really extreme. no one is perfect, but you do need one person to work with you consistently through at least the 12 steps. as long as they show up to take your calls regularly and meet with you when they say they will, it can almost be anyone. you just need this piece to get where you need to go ! so don't turn it down if someone is there offering to you.)i just wanted to let anyone know who feels hopeless about escape from addiction, that if you keep your eye on the prize, there is victory possible out there for anyone. i'm a therapist now so i know this possible for everyone no matter how messed up you believe you are! (i've seen it all and there are no exceptions to this !) good luck and keep up the good work...
if you need some support or advise, feel free to email me.
poster:nekko17
thread:828988
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20080104/msgs/828988.html