Posted by Caper on July 11, 2004, at 22:21:39
In reply to Re: Interventions, posted by beatrix34 on July 11, 2004, at 21:34:17
Hi Wildflower,
I agree you need to focus on yourself first, for your own well-being and because you can't have any real control over anyone but yourself. In my opinion, it's not selfish or uncaring or anything like that to say "I have to take care of myself first before I can really help others." At least you've noticed her problem, and care enough to devote a lot of thought to how to help.
Regarding interventions though, I have to say that I wish SO much someone had done that for me. I wish someone had noticed and called me on my drinking. Eventually I got secretive about it of course, but for a long time I made no effort to hide it at all. I drank in front of my family day and night, but they never knew how much I drank I guess, or maybe they thought their "good girl" could never become an alcoholic. Sometimes I still get angry with them though-- how could they not know? Or did they just not allow themselves to know?
I've never participated in an actual intervention, but only because the relative about whom we were concerned would not listen to a word we said when we tried. We ended up trying to have him involuntarily committed, but he talked his way out of it. Without an admission of a problem and a willingness to get help, there was nothing else we could do for him until he was ready. (Which he finally was, just recently, thank goodness.)So in general I'd encourage a person considering an intervention to do it, but only if it's not going to be detrimental to that person's mental health and progress.
I wish you the very best of luck. Keep us posted and take care of yourself.
Caper
poster:Caper
thread:364451
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040604/msgs/365180.html