Posted by Dinah on April 29, 2014, at 18:41:24
In reply to Re: He called!!!!, posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2014, at 19:41:28
I'm sorry, Alex. Your therapist was *not* good enough. I know how fortunate I am in comparison. My therapist, in the big picture, did keep me in his mind.
I don't know. I guess I feel kind of guilty about thinking that things can't, and maybe shouldn't, get back to the way they were. Maybe it's because I was coming to the point where I wanted to cut back anyway. Maybe it's just that therapy and Babble can be the biggest sources of distress in my life. My everyday life is quite stable, really. I'm not naturally a big risk taker, emotionally or in any other way.
I love him dearly. I don't want to quit seeing him entirely. But I think it would be foolish beyond measure to allow myself to rely on him emotionally ever again. He didn't let me down in the sense that he didn't knowingly abandon me (my cynical inner voice aside). But his actions caused me incredible pain.
I'm very glad he called. I have a far better feeling about my relationship with him and myself as a person because of it. I no longer feel so much like I'm not love-able. I'm definitely not saying that I won't see him as a therapist ever again. I recognize that the largest part of this was beyond his control. I have enormous empathy with his situation. But I don't want to be vulnerable to him again.
poster:Dinah
thread:1064580
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140310/msgs/1064948.html