Posted by wittgensteinz on April 25, 2011, at 14:53:49
In reply to Re: Pdoc appointment - Dinah, posted by Dinah on April 23, 2011, at 15:02:18
Thanks for sharing. First I'll respond to your post then I'll write a separate post with something about my upcoming appointment.
It sounds to me like you made a wise decision about the potential pdoc. Hopefully there are more to choose from and someone more along the lines of your present pdoc who has moved - i.e. someone not money-crazed and not in the habit of sending intrusive, highly personal intake forms! Yuck!
Regarding the possibility of a new pdoc wanting to revise the meds: If the meds have been working - why change them? I guess there could be a med combination that would be even more effective?
You said about your T signing a lease for a new office. Will that mean that his primary officer will move location?
I still wonder in a way why it should even matter if the therapist is bored (of course it matters if he says he's bored or if it is obvious he is bored). I mean, I have asked my therapist enough times "you're bored with me, aren't you?" - sometimes he says "no" (so presumably on those occasion he is not) but other times he has said something like "and is it your job to entertain me?" (so maybe he does find it boring). Long term therapy is very repetitive - the same old stuff goes round and round again like a piece of music with countless variations. I don't know, I get the feeling you are assuming too much responsibility for what essentially is something you cannot help and which really rests on him.
I'm glad he seems revitalised and maybe once the office move is complete things will improve. I'm glad you still feel able to seek his help and advice - you've built up this relationship over many years and while this rupture is not yet repaired (and it's true you don't know for sure when/how/if it will ever be) it doesn't sound like all is lost. I guess it will be a matter of keeping an open mind, which it sounds like you are doing (and he too - he is actively thinking about it and at least is becoming 'less offensive').
It's interesting - to you he is your therapist mommy - but the way you write about him, I sometimes get the impression that you also have motherly feelings toward him. He is the one who became teary eyed while you were the one to picked up on the fact of the relative lack of stability in his life).
You said about him not knowing what to do with you in therapy. I wonder though whether he has to 'do' anything - I always thought of therapy as a time that the client can use as he/she wants (within reason). Maybe this comes down to the orientation of the therapy he conducts? I mean, if you should want to then you should be entitled surely to just go there and sit in silence hour after hour - and yes that might well be boring for the therapist but if that's what the client needs then so what? Has he missed the point somewhere in this? I think it's true, the therapeutic relationship ebbs and flows - mine does too - sometimes the sessions are intensive - electric even - other times they are slow and I'm looking at my watch and I wouldn't be surprised if he is too. I don't feel at fault though. Sometimes I feel frustrated.
I'm sorry you have been retreating, cutting down on your circle of contacts - it does strike me as odd that he would interpret that as a reason to question the need for therapy.
I'm glad you are no longer on bad terms with him. The way you write, the closeness and engagement between you is still very much there. I hope things work out between you - or in any case continue to improve.
As for the egg - you hate that wretched egg - he's right, don't do it just to entertain him - being yourself seems to be the most basic ingredient in making therapy work - being entertaining is secondary - a novelty if you like.
You have seen him for a long time - have there been any episodes vaguely resembling this one in the past? How did they resolve?
I'm not sure how helpful my response is - hopefully not offensive at least - just my free flowing thoughts.
Witti
poster:wittgensteinz
thread:983541
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/983704.html