Posted by Annabelle Smith on April 1, 2011, at 1:30:53
In reply to so depressed, posted by Annabelle Smith on March 31, 2011, at 22:58:35
I feel like everyone around me with whom I have taken the liberty to trust and share this stuff with acts as if my attachment to my therapist is not a good enough reason to stay in my city. They almost act like they think I am in love. I won't deny the word love, but really don't think it is romantic love. I have never felt nor had romantic love, aside from small crushes on people here and there, but never beyond that. This is love, but it is a love that feels "primal"-- it is in continuity with the love that I used to feel for my mom and my brother and God and other places that are like home. It feels more basic that what romantic love can be, as if it underlies all other kinds of love. It is the kind of love of human connectedness that grounds all of life.
That is what I feel towards him. It is an intense primal love. I want to just be able to accept it and think that it is OK. But other people act like I am too attached, too dependent, and that that is bad. However, isn't that a part of therapy. I have only worked with him for about 7 months (3 months, then 6 months away, then 4 months) I feel like I am just now in the process.
I think to leave now would be crazy. But I feel like I am doing something "bad" by staying. You all on here "know" me. I also think you know what it is to feel this way. Other people who have not been through therapy or who aren't familiar with it just don't get it.
Can someone please respond and just offer affirmation. I feel scattered. I need more time. Please affirm me and tell me that I am not inappropriate, that though intense, this is commong for therapy in some cases, and that with the process (I would have up to 3 years), I will probably get better and become more independent.
Please help me. Please, please help me.
I feel like there is an inner scream coming from a void in the center of me. Please help. I feel so desperate.
poster:Annabelle Smith
thread:981607
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/981618.html