Posted by Solstice on November 5, 2010, at 21:49:15
In reply to Re: Trust » Solstice, posted by emmanuel98 on November 5, 2010, at 20:38:14
> Interesting about HT telling you not to give your trust completely. My T really emphasizes trust, that I trust him to care about me and he trusts me to be honest.
:) Maybe it was important for HT to do that with me because my trust issues were leaking out and HT saw it with clarity. It took a long, long time for me to settle into trusting that HT cared about me. I think I believe that now most of the time. I also learned to trust HT to 'be there' when I need my base. HT has accomplished that in some remarkable ways. I have an absolute trust (based on repeated experiences) that if there is a problem in our relationship, HT will ensure that we work it out together... even if I try to return to my 'cave' and avoid it. I am safe there. I'm safe even when things are less than ideal in the relationship or the room. If HT started behaving in an untrustworthy manner though, I think the trust I feel would be interrupted. And I believe I would survive it. That's healthy trust. With TT, I trustes him, even when his behavior became very UNtherapeutic. HT's position is that no one can expect or demand my trust - and that I should trust only as it feels safe to do so. Rather than indescriminate trust, I think your T is emphasizing safe trust. Mine just may make a further distinction in that even if you've determined a person is worthy of your trust, you should always keep your hand on it so you can pull it back at any time, if needed... and we should never feel compelled to trust. I think my HT's way of handling it served to protect whatever smidgen of possiblity there might be for me to be able to trust again.
>>Obviously, unlike your bad T, he doesn't insist that I trust him, but I do.
That right there is the key. Yours is a keeper :)
Solstice
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:968352
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101023/msgs/968720.html