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Re: its back...depressive rants.

Posted by B2Chica on November 4, 2010, at 11:27:32

In reply to Re: its back...depressive rants. » B2Chica, posted by Dinah on November 4, 2010, at 11:10:34

nov 18th.
i've been doing once a month during pregnancy and nursing. and since mood was doing well, i kept that up.
Problem is, now with two kids in daycare...$$$
no money. so i'm not even sure i can afford anymore than once a month.

but i got pdoc appt for monday night.
i'm on wait list incase i can get in earlier.

the thing thats frustrating thing. when i did kind of a well visit with him back in june, he KNOWS how fast and hard this hits, so he told the front desk that if i call to make SURE i can get in asap. (but that was june).

granted i waited until wed to even call. but 5 days seems like an ETERNITY.

i'm just...well, im ashamed to admit it but i'm self-medicating to try to get to sleep at nights.
i take a larger dose of xanax and like clockwork hour half goes by and it does nothing, so i drink.
well, its only taken one week and my alcohol tolerance is built up. so now i've switched from 1-2 glasses of wine to harder liquor to do the job.
its only getting worse.
my anxiety is at a constant 8. almost constant nausea because of it. cant eat, cant sleep.

i feel like a zombie.
and i know...its technically only a few days to wait..but MAN, when every minute of the day you ache??? it feels like an ETERNITY!

thanks for letting me rant.
its helping me.

b2c.


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poster:B2Chica thread:968232
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101023/msgs/968362.html