Posted by Dinah on April 18, 2010, at 9:50:55
In reply to Re: I think I need help in reframing, posted by emmanuel98 on April 18, 2010, at 2:11:58
Oh no! I realized something I'd never realized before about it. That the huge taboo about mentioning it caused a good deal of my troubles.
But the obsessive phobia itself dates back to my preteens. It was so bad in my early teens that I was tending towards agoraphobic. It has shaped my entire life. Where I went to college, what I did for a living, what choices I make in entertainment. My husband had serious doubts about marrying me because of it. This is always, always, in my consciousness. I'm aware of it when I walk down the street, when I drive, when I park. It's always with me.
I probably mentioned it to my therapist at the very beginning, when he took my history, because it was a big part of why I went to a psychiatrist in my teens. But my parents never really believed that. The psychiatrist never really believed that. Nobody did. Everyone just got mad at me if I tried to explain the truth. So I learned to lie about why I did the things I did. It's not like I never mentioned it. My husband knew about it. And I would freely mention it in settings related to psychology. But not in the moment. Oddly enough, my husband never did either. If we were in a situation that was triggering my fear, he'd mention it to others no more than I would about why I had to leave or whatever.
poster:Dinah
thread:943608
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100405/msgs/943814.html