Posted by emilyp on April 2, 2010, at 19:56:43
In reply to Re: Dilemma in Therapy, posted by widget on April 2, 2010, at 18:22:38
1. You did not answer the question about how you would feel if the tables were turned. Do you really think you would not feel hurt?
2. Is it possible that if you ask, you would be putting a lot of pressure on your therapist? If you really love him, do you want to exert that pressure? (And in this case, you cannot fall back on the excuse that I read on this board a lot - that therapy is intended to make the patient feel better, not the therapist. The therapist has no obligation to tell you.)
3. Why do you need to know? Will you feel better about yourself, superior to others? You need to ask yourself that because it seems as if you don't know.
4. How will you feel if he does not have the same feelings for you? What if he does not have any feelings for you, beyond as a patient? How will that affect your relationship with the therapist? How will that make you feel about yourself?
5. What are you going to do if you know? Do you know for sure you don't want things to go beyond just knowing.
Unless you know the answers to all these questions AND you think the answers are harmless, then maybe you have the right to know. But if you cannot honestly answer each of these questions, then perhaps it is indicative of why you should not ask.
Finally, if the above does not work, maybe remind yourself of the saying, "you cannot always get what you want." That is life. I would like to win the lottery, but guess what, it will probably not happen. Kids don't always understand this, but as an adult, I would think you should.
poster:emilyp
thread:941668
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100303/msgs/941879.html